4/7/2012: One of My True Loves!

Two springs ago I did something that I've been wanting to do for decades; I planted my first vegetable garden. Ryan and Megan Kegley turned me onto the idea of square foot gardening one day when I was sort of daydreaming about having a vegetable garden of my own some day. Several months later Jack and I were browsing around a book store and there on an end cap was the book, "All New Square Foot Gardening," by Mel Bartholomew. Seeing the book triggered a memory of the conversation with Ryan and Megan, it was spring, I was dreaming of home grown tomatoes and herbs, so I bought the book. Never before in my life has a $20 purchase ever fueled such feverish activity in me. If I am recollecting correctly (and Jack, you can correct me if I'm wrong) I read the book that day and upon completing the book I knew that I, too, could grow my own vegetables! The next day my love affair with Home Depot shifted from the paint and home repair aisles to the lumber and gardening aisles. I also combed the entire southern KC Metro area for all of the different kinds of compost I could find to combine with vermiculite and peat moss to make Mel's mix, the soil that fills the boxes you see above. It took only a day to build the boxes (the first spring I just had the three 4x4 boxes), dig up the sod, place the boxes and fill them with Mel's mix. The next day I planted my very first vegetable garden! I have a series of photos on my Facebook page that chronicles that first spring and summer when my love affair with growing my own food started. Last spring I added the 3x6 garden that you see in the background. Last summer I built the cage around it to keep the pesky squirrels out of my tomatoes (and yes, that works!!). This spring I raised all the beds another foot to keep the bunnies out of my beets (I don't know if that will work yet or not, I'll let you know mid-summer), and I moved all of my herbs to the border garden around my patio, which I also filled with Mel's mix (they seem pretty happy there). As you can see, each year the garden grows a little more. It's truly a compulsion, to make it a little bigger and grow a little more each year. I get such a kick out of eating the veggies and fruits that I grow that I am bound and determined to grow most, if not all, of the veggies that we eat in the late spring, summer and fall. I told Jack that my garden is now big enough and that I won't make it any bigger next spring, but as soon as I told him that I took it back, because I do want to build another 4x4 box and start an asparagus patch next spring!

In the closest box you can see my broccoli, lettuce and spinach starts. The back row of that box contains my snap pea seeds, which are already germinating. The empty frame will have a trellis on it for the peas to climb. The left most box contains my beet and carrot seeds, under the plastic covers. The beets are coming up but I haven't seen any carrots yet. I'll plant cantaloupe seeds in the very back row (again, they will climb the trellis) and peppers in the row between the cantaloupe and carrots, once it is warm enough. That middle box in the back row of boxes has lettuce, kale, and Swiss chard seeds, so far. It will also get zucchini, cucumbers, and green onions. The big caged box to the far right is my tomato garden, with nine different types of tomatoes planted in it. The pots contain several different kinds of mint (I put it in the garden the first year - big mistake! The mint quickly took over the squares next to it.) and you can't see the oregano, parsley, cilantro, sage, thyme, rosemary, chives, tarragon and basil that are in the border garden around the patio.

It makes me happy to have my garden growing again. I get such joy and satisfaction from it. I fuss and putter over my garden as if each little start and sprout is a wee babe. I look forward to making my salads from my own garden once again. This summer I am going to do my best to plant a fall crop. I need to start seeds mid-June for that. The last two summers I told myself I would plant a fall crop, and I didn't do it. It's just not quite as much fun to get all dirty when it is 100 degrees outside. Also, this winter, I want to start my own seeds indoors in time to plant my own starts, rather than buying them from the nursery. I haven't done that yet, either. Again, when it is cold and dreary out, it is hard for me to think about growing things. I will have to bust through that psychological barrier next February!

This is only my third season, but each year I get a little more into my garden and I get a little more out of it. I'm hoping for an awesome growing season and a bountiful crop this spring, summer, and fall!

4/6/2012: Disturbing Find: Same Story, Different Spring

What is this, you ask? This is my weight loss graph from 2010. There are some scary similarities here. Scary because after I lost 20 pounds I stopped losing weight. Then I gained it back. Oh yeah, and plus some.


This was the story back then. This graph starts on February 6, 2010. I was not working yet, as I had fairly recently ended my telecommuting gig with Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. I was spending a lot of time nesting into our new house, painting, removing wall paper from walls, hanging bead board, tackling plumbing and grouting projects, rearranging furniture, and that sort of thing. I was also going to Curves everyday, which is about a mile from the house. With the walk there and the walk home, I was getting in a little over an hour of exercise a day. I started this graph when I decided to go on the Curves weight loss regimen. I had already been going to Curves for several months when I started the diet and I was frustrated that the exercise, alone, was not doing the trick. I added the diet to my routine so I would start losing weight. As you can see from the blue line on the graph, the Curves plan is a series of cycles. They recommend 1200 calories for one week, 1500 calories for three weeks, and at least two weeks of maintenance between each 4 week weight loss segment. It was working fairly well, between 2/6/2010 and 4/29/2010 I lost 20.1 pounds; which brings us to the scary part. What happened?


As I think back two years I can think of two significant factors that would have caused me to lose focus on losing weight. The first is a big one. I started working on May 3rd, 2010, at First National Bank of Olathe. This was a triple whammy for me in that 1) I went from being active and working with my body all day to sitting at my desk in front of a computer screen, 2) I could no longer go to Curves because they did not open early enough or stay open late enough to accommodate my work schedule and commute, and 3) I am a stress eater and I was stressed from starting a new job in a new industry. It is not a coincidence that the last entry on this graph is April 29, 2010 and my first day at work was May 3, 2010. The impact was instantaneous. Combine the new job with the fact that I was feeling more comfortable in my body because I had already lost 20 pounds, and we have the major factors that contributed to me losing focus, that time around.


I'm glad I kept this graph. I know I have thought about deleting it from the computer at least once in the last two years. I have deleted another graph I started in the fall of 2011. That weight loss effort ended on Thanksgiving. I don't remember my starting and ending weights that time. Now I wish I had kept that graph, too. I can't let myself fall into the same types of traps that have derailed me in the past. One of the reasons that I find the above graph particularly disturbing is because of the time frame. I started that diet in early February. I ended it in late April. I lost 20 pounds. This time I started in late February. It's now early April. I am on track to lose about 20 pounds in about the same time frame. Uh oh.


This Monday was a set-back in that I had a relatively uncontrolled eating episode. This week I have refocused on counting calories and the results on the scale have been good, this morning the number flashing on that little screen as 212.0. What a relief! Yet I know that I have a hurdle to get over, and I need to get over it right now. I'm at that stage where this is no longer new and, therefore, it is no longer "fun." Not that I've been having fun going to the gym and counting calories, but starting new things is always exhilarating and that exhilaration invariably gives me a lift. Now it has settled into the routine. Now it's all about the slog. The long haul. The day in and day out of making the right choices, time after time after time. Just thinking about it makes me go, "Ugh!"


I need to retrench and recommit and that is what I am doing right here and right now. I feel good about the tools in my tool box. This blog helps, a lot. In case you're wondering, your comments make a big difference. Knowing you're out there and care enough to read my ramblings motivates me to stick to this. My chart helps a lot, too. I am impressed by the mental difference it has made to have a huge, hand written chart on the wall of my bathroom compared to the excel graph I have posted at the top of this post. When I was making the chart I am using now I had to hand write all of the weights along the vertical axis of the grid. Then I had to hand write the dates along the horizontal axis. When I made that excel graph I typed in the first two numbers and dragged and dropped. Excel filled in the rest. The simple act of hand writing the weights and dates gave me a completely different perspective. With each number I wrote I visualized myself getting thinner and healthier. Which each date I wrote I saw myself on that day, thinner, healthier, and happier. It truly is amazing how our brains work. Visualizing success significantly increases the odds of succeeding. I love the fact that I am taking my picture every Sunday and pasting it to my chart. I find myself staring at the chart, comparing the first picture I took to the last picture I took and seeing the little differences in my face and body. I like what I see and I can visualize the next picture looking a little better, and the next and the next. Counting calories helps, too. Even on those "bad" days. Keeping a record of everything I eat makes me pay attention to everything I put in my mouth. Does it always cause me to make a "good" choice? Well, obviously not, but it sure does help me get back on track, pretty darn fast. Hiring a personal trainer helps a lot, too. His name is Jeremy, by the way, and I have shared my blog address with him. That's kind of scary to think about, but hey, it keeps it real. I like the routine we have. I work out with Jeremy once a week and he gives me my strength training routine for that week. Then I go back to the gym and do strength training on my own two more times that week. Three times a week I also do cardio on my own, so I am working out for an hour, six times a week. By only working with Jeremy once a week, I am developing a confidence that I can do the weight lifting at the gym, on my own, without feeling foolish. We set monthly goals and I work hard to meet those goals. It's kind of funny, actually. I don't want to disappoint Jeremy. It feels like my motherly instincts kick in and I want this success for him, as well as me. As silly as it sounds, it is another motivator, so I'll take it!! Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am not sure which, the trainer is expensive. The fortunate part is once I have spent the money on ten training sessions, I am committed to the next ten weeks. The unfortunate part is every ten weeks I need to part with a chunk of change to keep the trainer. At this point I know having the trainer is worth every penny I spend.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. It helps! I can do this! I am doing this! I will reach my target weight of 150 pounds on or before February 4, 2013. I will not let unexpected roadblocks derail me. I will not let the stress of work overcome my motivation to be healthy. I will not allow a special event or a holiday to break my momentum. I am in this for real. I am in this for my health. I am in this for my future. I am shaking this monkey off of my back for once and for all. I've said good bye to that lady that accepted the fact that she was "fat." She no longer exists. This woman is fit, active, loves life, and intends to live life to its fullest for many decades to come!!

FYI - My net calories for the last two days:

Wednesday: Calories consumed - 1083; Calories burned (4 mile walk) - 388; Net Calories - 717

Thursday: Calories consumed - 1,682; Calories burned (50 minutes weight lifting) - 481; Net Calories - 1,201

Measurement results from yesterday: 2 inches smaller at my chest and waist, 1 inch smaller at my waist

4/5/2012 - Somethings Happening Here

There is something happening here and I don't know what it is. Halfway through my workout this morning I started having vivid dream recalls, seemingly at random, and I've kept having them throughout the morning. Jack said if I suddenly see a number sequence I should buy a lottery ticket; perhaps he's right! All of the dreams have something to do with working out, exercising, or losing weight. It's not that surprising that I would be dreaming about these things, but I haven't been remembering the dreams in the morning. Now, this morning for the last couple of hours I've been having flashbacks to dreams I've had. It's been bizarre, to say the least! Unfortunately, I lose the details of the dreams almost as quickly as I recall them, or I would talk about them here. I'll try keeping a notepad next to me and if it happens again I will write it down so I can tell you about them! Obviously my sub-conscious mind is working on this goal as hard as my conscious mind and body are!

Today was an official weigh-in day and I weighed 213.2 pounds, so that binge on Monday night caused me to weigh 0.6 pounds more this morning than I did Monday morning. It could have been and would have been much worse if I did not go into damage control mode almost as soon as it happened. In reality, it was only about one hour of no self-control. Thank goodness I got control of myself after that and got back on plan. It is not fun to post any weight gain at all, but it is a reminder of the importance of staying on track.

It's a strange feeling, a lot of loose thoughts are rattling around in my head this morning, yet they have not jelled enough for me to be able to write about them. I'm definintely keeping a notebook close by today to see what surfaces. Perhaps it will be interesting. Then again, perhaps not!

Have a great day!

4/3/2012: Reckoning

I've added up the calories from yesterday's disaster of an evening, as explained in my previous post.

Monday: Calories consumed - 2,801; Calories burned (60 minutes jog/walk) - 484; Net Calories - 2,317. That is 1,117 net calories over my target for the day.

So far, today has been much better. It's 7:00 and I have netted onky 732 calories, after dinner. That gives me room for a snack and I will still be under my goal of 1,200 net calories.

I'm glad today was a better day. :)

4/3/2012: Tough Night and Motivators

Last night was a rough one. When I got home from work I was very hungry, in fact I was hungry before I left work and I did not handle it well. What I should have done was have a cheese stick and an apple before I left work, to curb my hunger a little. I did exactly the wrong thing and had just an apple. That made me even hungrier. By the time I got home I was looking for anything that wasn't bolted down to eat. Luckily, I did start making dinner right away which was made much easier because of Carla's thoughtfulness. She had cleaned the lettuce and chopped the vegetables for our chef's salads before she left to go to her girlfriend's house. All I had to do was boil some eggs, chop up some turkey, and put the salads together. I'm telling you that it is amazing how many calories one can consume in the 15 minutes it takes to boil eggs and get them in a salad, if one puts her mind to it. Let's see...what did I eat? The first target was the little bit of hummus that was left over in the fridge, perhaps two tablespoons, I'm guessing. I ate that with about 10 wheat thins. Then it was the chocolate chips, three small handfuls of about 2 tablespoons each. Then I ate about 6 more wheat thins. By then, then salads were almost together and just to make those extra yummy I added a couple tablespoons of chopped nuts and a tablespoon of sunflowers seeds, along with about 2 ounces of shredded aged cheddar cheese. Yes, the cheese was really good!! I put about 3 tablespoons of dressing on the salad and then ate another dozen wheat thins and about an ounce of Port Salut cheese while eating the salad. It's a good thing there was not any wine in the house, or I would have drank that, too. By the time I was done eating all that food I was feeling full...too full. But that did not stop me from eating a couple small handfuls of Jack's dark chocolate m&ms during the KU game last night. I have not added all those calories up yet, but I will. I know the scale was not happy this morning. All I can say is I am glad it was not a weigh-in day this morning!!!!

I'm not pleased with myself, this morning. In fact I am pretty disappointed in myself for gorging last night. I know the trigger was being so hungry when I left work. I know the mistake was eating lunch early and then not eating my afternoon snack. I know how to keep this from happening again. Today, I am packing my snacks and I will eat a snack at about 3:30, that will make a huge difference! I will also eat a morning snack and that will help me eat lunch a little later in the day.

Aside from thinking about how much I ate last night, this morning I have been thinking about my short term and long term goals and motivators. The shortest term motivator is our youngest daughter's wedding. Brianna is getting married on May 11th! I can't believe it is so soon!! The funny thing is it isn't the wedding, exactly, that has me motivated to look as good as possible on the 11th of May, it's the photos that are going to exist for decades afterwards! I know I can't get thin by then, but I can lose another 10 pounds. Those 10 pounds will make a big difference in how I look and feel! After eating way too much last night, I had to remind myself that I do have this short term goal of Brianna's wedding to shoot for, and I need to keep myself on track for that.

The second motivator is another wedding! My nephew, Pat, and his bride-to-be, Heather, are getting married on June 30th. Another 10 pounds or so by then? I think that is doable! And then Jack and I go on vacation in mid-September. We are going to the northeast to camp, hike, and enjoy a little NYC action. My goal is to be in the 180s by then. I know for a fact that if I am in the 180s when we are on our vacation I will feel a lot better about myself and enjoy our time off so much more than if I hadn't started working on my health and fitness a little over 5 weeks ago.

Longer term? I want to hike the entire Long Trail somewhere between my 55th and 60th birthdays. I don't have an exact time yet, because that will be about a 6 week endeavor and I don't know what my work situation will be then, but it is definitely a goal to hike it before my 60th birthday.

Longer, longer term? Back packing, hiking, and camping well into my 70s and 80s. I'd like to explore mountains around the world, carrying my own gear. It sure sounds like fun to me!!

I better run. Late for work.

4/2/2012: Making Progress!!

I weighed 212.6 today!! Hooray!! Seeing the progress on the scale feels awesome, but at the same time it makes it hard to stay patient. Now that I can start to see around the corner to the two-ohs instead of the two-teens, it's making me really impatient to get to the one-nineties. I have to shake those feelings, though, and take this one day at a time. Each day, on its own, is doable. If I start rushing ahead, mentally, I will get frustrated with my progress, even though the progress I've made has exceeded my goals, so far. So, patience, Grasshopper, I tell myself. All in good time.

Net Calories for the last two days:

Saturday: Calories consumed - 1,208; Calories burned - (60 minute jog/walk) 485; Net Calories - 723

Sunday: Calories consumed - 1,432; Calories burned - (50 minutes weight lifting) 484; Net Calories - 948.

I also worked in my garden yesterday for about 4 hours. I finished filling the tomato garden with Mel's Mix, added some Mel's Mix, to the border garden around the patio for my herbs, and planted a bunch of starts and seeds. I know it is still early for tomatoes, but I couldn't help it. It's just so beautiful out. Everything else that got planted should be fine, even with a light freeze. Carla and I planted lettuce, spinach and broccoli starts, and put in snap pea, carrot, beet, kale, swiss chard, and lettuce seeds. I'm going to wait a couple weeks to plant the cucumber, cantelope and zuchini. It's fun to have veggies in the ground again!

Have a great day!!

4/1/2012: Picture Day, Week 5

The photo on the left is my start photo and was taken on February 26th. The photo on the right is my 5 week photo and was taken on April 1st. Aside from the fact that we went from winter to spring, can you see a difference? OK, I don't love the shorts, but they are the only ones that fit right now. I can get into and button another pair that I like a lot better, but they are still too tight to wear.

Whether you can see the difference or not, I have lost 10.2 pounds. This morning's unofficial weigh-in was 213.8 pounds. Tomorrow is my weigh-in mark-my-chart day, so we'll see what that brings when I get on the scale in the morning. Also, I can feel the difference. I am happier, more energetic, my clothes are getting looser, and exercising is getting easier. There has been a lot of progress in 5 weeks.

It is a beautiful spring day and I am looking forward to working in the garden and making some progress on our garage project. So far, Carla has done an amazing job of cleaning out and organizing the garage, a project I have wanted to tackle for 3 years. There is not that much left to do and I'm looking forward to having well organized and easy to find tools!

I hope all of you enjoy this beautiful spring day!