5/7/2013: Challenges of "Maintenance"

I don't really think of what I am doing as maintenance, except for the fact that I am maintaining my weight.  With the exception of my not trying to lose more weight, though, I am still focused on improvement.  It's just hard to articulate that improvement.

Each week I try to run, bike and swim a little faster, I strength train 3 times a week to get a little stronger, I examine my body in the mirror every now and then looking for a more defined muscle; these are the types of improvements I am hoping to see.  It's all so subtle, though.  It's not like getting on the scale and seeing the numbers get smaller each week, it's not like watching that red line on my graph go down, down, down, each week, it's not like taking my photo every Sunday and seeing how much better I look each week as I lose weight.  It's all much more subtle.  The changes are happening on the inside.  I find that I have to remind myself of all the good things that exercise does for me physiologically.  Sooner or later this will be about maintenance.  I won't be getting stronger, faster, or leaner.  Any changes in my fitness levels will be so minute as to not be noticeable.

It's a lot easier to keep up the motivation levels when the changes are visible on a weekly basis, when I have something real and tangible to measure and to gauge my success against.  Now I have to replace those "easy" goals with far less tangible things.  I can do this, I am doing this, but I do struggle with it sometimes.

It was brilliant to give away all of my bigger clothes.  I don't own any pants that don't fit well.  They are not stretch pants, they are just pants, mostly in a size 6.  If I gain 5 pounds, they won't fit.  If I don't gain any weight but just stop exercising and get flabbier, they won't look good.  Today, they fit great, they are comfortable, and they look good.  But I can't gain any weight or I won't have anything to wear.  That is motivation!!  Every time I slip on a size six pair of pants and they fit like they were made for me I get a little boost in my spirit. 

The triathlon is in August, I know I'll be prepared for that.  It keeps me motivated to run, bike and swim every week.  Working out with my trainer keeps me motivated on the strength training.  Jack is serious about losing weight, so that is keeping me motivated to cook healthy food and keep good meals in the house. 

I'm a little worried about Julie, she hasn't blogged since Saturday.  When I mentioned that to Jack he said, "Well you haven't either."  I responded with, "But I've reached my goal." Still, blogging helps.  I'll reach out to Julie today.  She was concerned about all of the opportunities to eat and drink too much in May, starting with helping her daughter move to Dallas, followed by Cinqo de Mayo celebrations.  I better check in with her and see how her weekend went.

I also haven't seen anything on Elizabeth's blog lately, either.  I'm thinking about her and hoping all is well.  I'll put a comment up on her blog this morning to make she is doing OK.

I've been in a little bit of a funk lately.  I got too tired when we went to Utah last week and perhaps I haven't snapped out of it yet.  Maybe I miss blogging.  Perhaps I miss the goals.  I drank a little over the weekend as part of my birthday celebration, that could very well be it, too.  I'm maintaining my weight very consistently between 150 and 153.  Yeah, I wish I was maintaining between 147 and 150, but I can't seem to bring myself to restrict calories enough to get below 150.  151 - 152ish seems fine, I think.  Maybe I'm not playing enough.  I have to give this some thought.  I told Jack yesterday that I need an attitude adjustment.  I do believe that is true.  I'm going to work on that.