3/31/2012: Just Checking In

It is Saturday morning and we have a lot to do this weekend, including getting our income tax returns done. That'll be fun! But it is a gorgeous weekend, the windows are open, and I'm not at work; I'm not complaining! Also, it's the first weekend in a while that I have not volunteered for the Women's Employment Center, so it will be nice to have an entire weekend to get caught up around the house and maybe have a little time left over to play.

I just finished reading through several of my previous posts which certainly seem to support my premise that all of my weight loss appears to happen on the weekends. I paid a lot of attention to my weight and my eating this work week. I held my own, all week, with my weight fluctuating very little, just four tenths of a pound back and fourth around 214. I am intensely curious to see what is going to happen this weekend. I hope the pattern holds true and I lose 1.5 pounds (my weekly goal) before Monday. If that happens, I'll be content with the weekly pattern that seems to have developed. I do eat a little more during the week than I do on weekends, and I eat later in the day. I don't tend to eat dinner on weekdays until about 7:30, and on weekends I eat dinner much earlier, around 6:00. I don't know if that contributes to my pattern or not. I'm also, inadvertently, more active on the weekends, so perhaps that is it. I'm also happier and sleep a little more. Whatever it is, it seems to all add up to a pattern of losing weight on weekends and doing everything I can not to gain it back during the week.

To keep things real, the following is my net calorie log for the last couple of days:

Thursday: Calories consumed - 1,816; Calories burned (55 minutes of weight lifting) - 533; net Calories - 1,283

Friday (consistently my highest net calorie day of the week, by the way): Calories consumed - 2,291; Calories burned (60 minute jog/walk) - 485; net Calories - 1,806

My attitude towards exercise has vastly improved throughout the week. The attitude adjustment from last Friday and positive self-talk since then has been helping. It is also helping that people at work are starting to notice and that I can get into and button pants that I could not get into a month ago. Someone at my seminar even came up to me yesterday and told me that I was glowing! She said she could see a big difference. Another woman told me how brave I was to be so open about my weight, my weight loss plan, and the struggles I'm having to stay on the plan. She said she could see why it would help me to be open about it, to get the support and accountability of the people around me; but that she would be unable to be so open about something so personal. It feels good to get all of the validation from the people around me. I am looking forward to February 4th, 2013, being 150 pounds, and having a success story to tell. Visualizing that day helps me stay on track. So does checking in with you on a regular basis by posting to this blog. With your support, I can do this!!!

Thanks for listening!!

3/29/2012 - End of First Month

When I signed up for 10 sessions with my personal trainer a month ago, the goal was to lose 8 pounds a month. He was very pleased this morning to find out that I had lost 10, instead. I weighed 214 pounds today, which follows the pattern of maintaining during the week what I lose on the weekends. It works for me, as you can see from my chart, I am below my line!!

I have to run, but I wanted to take a second to post my weigh-in results. Have a great day!

3/28/2012: Holding Steady

I seem to be holding my own this week. Since Monday my weight has only fluctuated a couple tenths of a pound, so that is not bad for the work week. I am feeling good about tomorrow's weigh in. I am hoping to see the scale drop below 214. We'll see how it goes in the morning.

Tomorrow marks the end of the first month of working with my trainer. He measured me at the beginning of the month, so I don't know if he is planning on doing measurements again tomorrow, or not. I know I have lost some inches though, because I was able to get a pair of shorts on today that I could not button a month ago. Progress!!!

The following is the summary of my net calories for the last few days.

Sunday: Calories consumed -1,101: Calories burned - (80 minutes jog/walking to and from gym & 45 minutes weight lifting) - 943: Net Calories - 158

Monday: Calories consumed - 1,312: Calories burned (no exercise) - 0: Net Calories - 1,312

Tuesday: Calories consumed - 1,828: Calories burned (45 minutes weight lifting) - 436: Net Calories - 1,392

Wednesday: Calories consumed - 1,387: Calories burned (60 minutes brisk walking, approx 3.5 mph) - 368: Net Calories - 1,019

Monday ended up being my day off from exercise this week because I did not sleep well Sunday night and getting up at 4:30 Monday morning just did not happen after a restless night. I thought I might get a walk in after work, but we went to see the Hunger Games instead. It's OK though, since my goal is 6 days of exercise a week, so this week, my day off was Monday.

I'll check in again tomorrow after weighing in. Now it's off to bed. Good night, everyone!!

3/26/2012: 10 Pounds Down, 64 to go!!!

Yeah!!!! I am officially below my line!! I weighed 214.0 pounds this morning for a to-date weight loss of 10 pounds!! Yipee!! It feels good!! More later, gotta go to work, but I wanted to share the good news!!

3/25/2012: Picture Day!!

End of week four. Total weight loss to date: 8.4 pounds. Feeling good. Jog/walked to the gym and back (4.8 miles round trip) and lifted weights today.

3/25/12: Breaking Through the 217lb Plateau!

Yeah!!!! Official Weigh-In Mark the Chart day is tomorrow, but this morning I finally saw some progress on the scale after a week and a half of hovering around 217.5 lbs. Today I weighed in at 215.6, which is below my line!!!! What a relief!! The last 10 days or so have been a struggle, with my weight holding steady while I was working my butt off at the gym, but today, finally, I saw some results. Perhaps it's my body’s way of approving of my attitude adjustment. Perhaps it was the calorie counting. Whatever it is, it sure feels good!!!

I have noticed that I tend to lose weight on the weekends and struggle to hold steady during the following week. Monday morning weigh-ins are always better than Thursday. It makes me wonder if the stress of the work week somehow accumulates in my body, maybe in the form of water retention. Then Saturday comes along and I am relaxed and happy and the result is a drop on the scale Sunday morning. It's much easier for me to control what I eat on the weekends, so I know that is part of it, but I know when I see a 2 pound drop in one day it's partly water weight. It seems like what is happening is that the work I am doing to burn fat is masked by water weight during the week, then the weekend comes, the excess water weight drops off, and I can see the results on Sunday morning. I have never noticed this before, but I have never made a point of weighing myself on Thursdays and Mondays before. Thursdays always seem to be my heaviest day of the week. Strange... Regardless of what is causing those weekly fluctuations, the good news is the progression of the line is downhill, and that is what matters.
I told you a few posts ago that I would start counting calories, and I have done that. Here are my results since Thursday, the day I started counting:

Thursday: Calories consumed -1,607: Calories burned (45 minutes weight lifting) - 451: Net Calories - 1156

Friday: Calories consumed - 2,165: Calories burned (90 minutes housework) - 425: Net Calories - 1,740

Saturday: Calories consumed - 1,193: Calories burned (60 minutes jog/walk) - 493: Net Calories - 700

My goal is to net less than 1,200 calories a day.

On Friday I blew that out of the water because of Fourth Friday, our monthly game night. Instead of eating a real dinner on Friday I snacked on veggies with spinach dip (about 1/4 cup of dip, which was 160 calories) , homemade toll house chocolate chip cookies (I think I ate about a dozen of them at about 50 (calculated) calories a pop), popcorn (2 cups), a brownie, and 3 glasses of red wine. That's 1200 calories of snacking!!!

I knew Friday was going to be rough, so I tried to be very careful about what I ate for breakfast and lunch, to mitigate the calories I would consume that evening, but I still far exceeded my allotment for the day. As you can see, I tried to make up for that on Saturday. :)

Also, normally, I would not count housework as calories burned. But come Friday morning I had so much housework left to do that I made it an exception to the rule. Instead of getting up at 4:30 to go to the gym for an hour, I got up at 4:30 and became a whirling dervish until 7:00AM, taking about a 20 minute break for breakfast. Given the fact that I was working hard enough that entire time to elevate my heart rate and be sweating, I decided to count it. It made me feel a little better about the 2,165 calories I consumed that day!! I did try to be fair, though, and only calculated calories burned for 90 minutes of housework even though I actually cleaned for over two hours. (I know I’m rationalizing, but I do that sometimes…you’re just going to have to put up with that every now and then, if you are going to continue to read this blog!)

Calorie counting is helping. It even helped on Friday, when I it may seem to you that I was going to town on the snacks. Actually, I was very conscious of what I was eating because I knew I would have to record it. If I hadn't been, I could have easily eaten twice as much as I did and drank most of that bottle of wine instead of half of it. The hard part isn't so much keeping track of the calories; it's telling you about it, afterwards! So, thanks again for listening. The blogging helps!

3/24/2012: Attitude Adjustment

Yesterday I, rather forcefully, had my attitude adjusted. I am participating in a program called Women on the Leading Edge, a seminar series sponsored by Central Exchange, a women's networking organization in Kansas City. Yesterday we had our third of seven sessions and the keynote speaker was Patti Phillips, the CEO of the National Association of Collegiate Women Athletics Administrators. She has worked in, around and for women's collegiate athletics for her entire career and her presentation was focused on the importance of moving our bodies, a lot, every day. She even quoted from "Younger Next Year," and talked about how our bodies are always in one of two states, decaying or growing, and how we can control whether our bodies are growing or decaying by doing one, and only one, thing. Exercise.


I will admit to being uncomfortable through her entire presentation. I don't know why exactly, but I could feel myself drawing inwards and physically folding my body in on itself, like I was trying to make myself smaller or something. It was a strange reaction to this vibrant, healthy, positive woman who was there to share her insights with us. I don't think it's possible that I didn't like her, but there was something about her message that was difficult for me to hear.


Honestly, one of the reasons I signed up for this class in the first place was to hear this woman speak. When I read through the description of the sessions, I had an intense feeling that she had something to say that I needed to hear. When I go back and analyze one of the motivators that got me to start exercising when I did, it was the knowledge that I was going to listen to Patti speak and I knew that if I had not already started exercising regularly by the time she was going to teach her class, that I would feel really awful about myself. I knew that if I had a few weeks under my belt, I could at least tell myself I had started to take care of myself.


Her presentation had an interesting impact on me. Most of all, it made me realize how negatively I talk about exercise. She had a saying that I can't exactly recall, but it had someting to do with how you experience what you say, rather than say what you experience. In other words, according to Patti, one of the reasons I hated to exercise is because I always talked about how much I hate to exercise.


Throughout her presentation I knew everything she said was true. I have never doubted the importance of regular exercise and, therefore; what she had to say was simply reinforcing what I already knew. So what was difficult about her message, then? The difficult part was having to acknowledge, full on, that if I ever stop exercising on a daily basis again, I, and only I, would be fully responsible for what happens next. I would be the one responsible for not being able to do all of the things I want to do when I am older, retired, and have the time and resources to play the way I want to play, outdoors. There would be no one to blame but me, for not being a vibrant older woman if I choose not to exercise at least 6 out of 7 days for the rest of my life. Yet, I kept thinking to myself how much I hate to exercise. How can I stop dreading it so much?


We had a Q&A after her presentation and I asked her exactly that question. She, of course, said that one of the reasons I hate to exercise is because I say I hate to exercise. I think she may have a point. Someone else in the class said that I needed to pretend I like it until I do like it, or "Fake it until I make it," one of my favorite sayings. She had a point, too. Patti asked me how I feel after I exercise and I told her I felt great. I said, in fact, that for 23 hours a day, I loved exercising, of course, those are the 23 hours that I am not actually exercising, but that I am reaping the benefits of having exercised earlier in the day. Her response was, "See, you do love to exercise." Anyway, the takeaway was to talk positively about exercise and I would find my attitude toward it changing a lot more quickly than if I talked negatively about it. Good point. At the end of the session she handed out little rubber bracelets. Mine says, "Inspired." I am wearing it so that every time I notice it I will remember to tell myself how much I love to exercise.

Today on my jog/walk I almost started with my normal self-talk of, "Ugh, this is hard. I don't want to do this. I have to do it, though, so I am. It's too hard, etc..." But instead, I changed the tape and I talked about rebuilding and renewing my body. Then I started to think of all of the positive words I could think of that I would like people to use to describe me and I said them out loud. When I ran out of words I would look at objects that I was passing and thing of a positive word to describe that object that I could apply to myself. I ended up having a solid hour of positive self talk, instead of negative, and the exercise was, indeed, a lot more pleasant.


I don't think I learned anything new about exercise yesterday, or the impact that it has on our bodies, our daily lives, or our ability to perform; but Patti's talk did remind me about the power of our words and thoughts. That was a powerful lesson and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was right, a month ago, when I signed up for this seminar. Patti Phillips definitely had something to say that I needed to hear, it just wasn't quite what I expected.

3/22/2012: Dinner Done and 184 Calories to Spare

Calorie counting started today, after a disappointing weigh-in this morning. My daily goal is to net under 1200 calories a day, after exercise. My exercise this morning was 45 minutes of weight lifting. According to a calorie burner I found at this website: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc 45 minutes of vigorous weight lifting at my weight burns 451 calories. I am pretty comfortable calling what I did this morning vigorous given the fact that there was very little resting between sets and that I had to push to my limits to complete all the reps. I'm using an iPhone app called MyFitnessPal to count calories consumed. So far today, after dinner, I have eaten 1,467 calories for net calories of 1,016, so far. I may or may not consume the remaining 184 calories before I go to bed. It's nice to know they're there if I want them.

So, calorie counting is not that hard. It's not even very tedious with my iPhone app. I guess it's just facing that brutul reality that I have to pay attention to absolutely everything I eat to make this work. But, as my dad likes to say, the facts are friendly. So here's to keeping track of the facts!

3/22/2012: Ugh

The only way this is going to work is if I keep it real. Right? Agreed? I don't want to keep it real right now. I really do wish everything was all rose petals and lollipops, but it just doesn't work that way, does it? So...here's the scoop.

It was weigh in day today and, yes, I weighed in. And, no, I am not on or below my line. I am exactly 2 tenths of a pound heavier than I was on Monday. *Heavy sigh* I was actually tracking well yesterday. I stepped on the scale when I got home from work yesterday and all looked fine for a good weigh-in this morning. My ring was loose, a sign that I'm not retaining water, and I felt pretty good about things. I had a big salad for dinner, including the rest of Carla's canned beets. Now I am wondering if canned beets have a lot of sodium in them, because in spite of not being at all swollen last night, I woke up this morning to swollen fingers and a tight ring. As soon as I noticed my ring was tight, I knew I would not like the scale this morning. Sure enough, I didn't. 217.8. To be completely honest with all of you, my faithful readers, and myself, the salad was not all I ate last night. I didn't eat my afternoon snack and by the time I got home I was hungry. The worst time of day for me is in the evening, right after work. So I snacked as I changed my clothes and made my salad. On what, you ask? Oh, how about those chocolate chips that Carla left in the cupboard after making muffins and not using the whole bag or the dark chocolate M&M's that Jack left on the coffee table. Oh yeah, baby, neither of those are my first choice, but they will do in a pinch when I am coming home from work, tired, frustrated, a tad disgruntled and very hungry. Ugh Muhgga. OK. Enough of this horsing around. Calorie counting starts in earnest today. My goal is to net 1200 calories (after exercise) a day. I am not going to bore you with the details of what I eat every day, but I will post my net calories.

I gotta run. I'm gonna be late for work. But I wanted to get this post up before I thought better of it.

Thanks for listening...

3/20/2012: Blogging About it Helps

I don't know why it helps, but it really does. Blogging is making sticking to the plan easier. The fact that you may read this post or that you may check in on Weigh-In Day (Mondays and Thursdays, in case you missed that part) to see if I met my weekly goals is only part of it. And, actually, I think it is only a small part of it. I think the bigger part of it is that blogging allows me to talk about this process as often as I want to talk about it, and I don't have to worry about whether the person listening to me really cares about what I have to say, because if you don't care, you just won't keep reading. So I can carry on about food choices, exercise, my improving mood, negligible differences in the way I look, or whatever happens to be on my mind at the moment, and I don't have to worry about people thinking, "Will she just shut up about this already." The fact of that matter is that if I am not actively enagaged in something else, I am thinking about my "Get Healthy" initiative. It is on my mind, off and on, all day. I am constantly thinking about little things that I want to share with someone, but, alas, no one cares about it as much as I do. The person that invented blogging is a fricking genius. Thank you, Mr. Blog, for this tool.

One of the things I think about a lot are all of the tools, or tricks, that I am using to stay on task. One of my favorites, other than blogging, is my chart. It's not just that it's a graph that I mark on twice a week to measure my weight loss progress, it's much more than that. I love the fact that I am taking my picture every Sunday and taping it to my chart. I only have 4 photos up so far, but it is already becoming a visual chronology of my progress. It's easy for me to visualize what my chart is going to look like in 44 weeks, with 48 photos on it. I get excited just thinking about being able to see the clear progression from the overweight me to the healthy me. It gets me pumped thinking about it, and that being pumped about how my chart is going to look on February 4th, 2013, helps me make good choices during the day. Maybe that sounds silly to you, but to me, it makes a difference. I also like that I write little thoughts on it about how I am feeling on a particular day or little differences that I am noticing. Again, it's a reminder that it is not only about how I look, but how I feel. And I feel so much better than I did three and a half weeks ago. The exercising is not fun for me, but the other 23 hours a day are so much better for it, that I have to admit that it is worth every grunt, groan and sore muscle. Exercise is such a huge part of this. I am thankful everyday that my body is strong, healthy, and responsive to changes in my routine. I really am blessed with an amazing body. It really is my job, my responsibility, to take care of it. I am so much happier with myself when I treat my body with respect. Blogging helps me remember that, every single day. So...

Thanks for listening!!!!

3/20/2012: It's Not So Easy

Ugh. They say it will become habit. They say, sooner or later I won't be able to live without it. They say, someday I will actually like it. I wish that day would come sooner rather than later. Going to the gym is just plain hard. I have to get up early, get dressed, drag my butt to the gym and then do things that my body complains vigorously about. Really??? That's suppossed to be fun??? That'll be the day.

Seriously, today was strength training. I am doing this routine where I do 16 squats to shoulder presses with a 10lb weight, 35 bicycle crunches, 35 "skiers" (which is basically sidestepping back and forth, crossing over and touching a weight placed on the floor) and 12 push-ups. I do 4 reps of that circuit, and then do these pull downs sitting on a ball with my back facing the machine, I make a "w" with my arms and it works out the area around my shoulder blades. So I do 16 of those pull downs with 45lb of weight and then I throw this 8 pound medicine ball up against a pole, as high as I can, 30 times. I do 4 reps of that exercise, too. All in all, it took about 45 minutes this morning. A long and grueling 45 minutes. Maybe all that does not sound like a lot, but believe me, you could tell by my sweating, huffing & puffing, and grunting that I was working hard. I am looking forward to the day that I enjoy this stuff.

I am already enjoying the results though. I looked in the mirror today and could actually tell a difference in my sides, like they go in...you know...I am narrower in the middle than I am at the top or at my hips. I am not seeing it in my clothes yet, as none of my clothes actually fit that part of my body very snuggly (I can't imagine why not!) but it is kind of fun to look in the mirror and see something that suggests a figure might be in there somewhere! It's the little bit of light that I am going to hang on to, for now, until I can see more noticable results, elsewhere!

Well, Jack's alarm is going off so I better skeedaddle into the bedroom to get my shower before he gets out of bed.

Until later...

3/19/2012: Weighed In One Tenth of One Pound Over My Goal Line

I'm blaming it on the baby shower. I started the day yesterday at 217.4 pounds and would have been just below my line this morning (target weight 217.5) if I had just held the line. I was careful about my food all day and spent most of the morning and afternoon working out in the yard. Carla and I built up the raised beds for my vegetable garden another foot, primarily as a defense against the bunnies, but also to make it easier to trim the grass around the gardens and to help keep the weeds and grass out of the vegetable beds. I love the way it looks! It was a lot of work building up the beds including constructing the boxes and mixing and moving a lot of dirt. It was a solid six hours of sweat inducing labor. So up to that point, all was on track for my weigh-in this morning. Then I had a baby shower to go to. It was at the Fox and the Hound. My biggest mistake? Not eating before I left (Jack, bless his heart, tried to help. He said to me, "Are you going to eat before you go?" I need to do a better job listening to my support crew.). I tried to be good, my table was ordering appetizers so I ordered the only one that had protein in it and was not fried, the chicken quesadillas. I did not touch the fried chicken tenders on the table, I did not eat the sour cream. I only drank water, but I was still two tenths of a pound heavier this morning than I was yesterday, which is one tenth of a pound over my line. To be fair, my scale measures weight in 2 tenths increments and when I stepped on the scale it flipped back and forth between 217.4 and 217.6 before settling in 217.6; I swear if my scale measured in tenths I would have been right on my mark! Also, to be completely honest, I did eat one bite of Susie's baked pretzel and a very small piece of chocolate cake. But I don't think it was either of those things that pushed me up that two tenths of a pound; at the end of the day I think the culprit was the sodium in the cheese in the quesadilla. I don't know why I didn't think about that, as I have a tendency to retain water when I consume too much salt, but, in fact, I was just thinking about net calories and I knew I was OK for the day. I should have ordered a salad and not worried about what the rest of the table was eating. Oh well...it is what it is. I don't feel too bad about it. It would have been more fun to be one tenth of a pound under my line than one tenth of a pound over my line, but all in all, I am pleased with my progress and I feel good about my momentum.

I can do this!

Thanks for listening...

3/18/2012: It's Picture Day

Well, here I am at the end of Week 3. I don't look different yet, not that I can tell anyway, but I do feel tons better than I did 22 days ago. The depression that I had felt settling over me is gone and I am enjoying life, again. There are certain things that I have to put up with these days that I have no control over and that don't make me particularly happy (don't worry, it has nothing to do with my family, my husband, or my home life - but its not really anything I want to talk about in a public domain, if you know what I mean), but by getting control over this aspect of my life, I feel like each day is much more manageable. All in all, there is a noticable improvement in my mood, I'm sleeping better, stairs are already getting easier and my balance is improving. Oh yeah, and, unofficially, I have lost 6.6 pounds! The official weigh-in/mark the chart happens tomorrow, so be sure to check back in to see if I am below my line!!

Thanks for listening...

PS - Check my second post, titled, "Getting Real - February 26, 2012," for my start photo.

3/18/2012: It's Unofficial! I Am Below My Line!!

It's unofficial because I only mark my chart on Monday's and Thursdays, but it feels good anyway!!! I weighed in at 217.4 this morning. All I have to do is hang on to that today and I will be below my line (barely) tomorrow. I can do this!!!!

PS - Today is picture day. Check in later to see if you can tell a difference, yet. I can't, but this is just the beginning.

3/17/2012: Unofficial Weigh-In

There was a little bit of good news on the scale today. I lost the 1.2 pounds that I gained over the last couple of days and I am back to my official Monday weigh-in weight of 218.8 pounds. To be back on my line this Monday I need to be down to 217.5. I can do that!!

I worked out every day this work week so I actually get a day off this weekend! I took the day off today because I spent most of the day doing volunteer work, providing financial consulting for a woman starting her own business. It is rewarding work, but today was a longer day than normal. I'll have to go to the gym tomorrow for strength training to get my six days in this week.

My exercise routine consists of 3 days a week of cardio and 3 days a week of strength training. On Friday, my cardio workout was a 4 mile jog/walk in which I alternated jogging with walking. If I do cardio at the gym I do 10 minutes on the stair climber (level 6), 20 minutes on the eliptical (2500 strides), 20 minutes on the tread mill (alternating 2 minutes @ 5 miles/hour and 2 minutes @ 3 miles an hour) and 10 minutes on the stationary bike (level 6) as a cool down. It's a decent workout. The 10 minutes on the stair climber kicks my butt and then I am huffing a puffing through the rest of the workout. Running outdoors isn't any easier, but it is more pleasant when the weather is nice.

My strength training varies from week to week. I meet with a personal trainer each Thursday and he sets up my routine for the week. He is doing a pretty good job setting me up with routines that push me to the point that I can't do much more. We are doing a lot of core and balance work, which seems like a good place to focus, given the fact balance and core strength are critical to being able to maintain an exercise routine long term. So far, I think I am getting my money's worth out of the PT. At the very least, knowing I am going to meet with him each week keeps me motivated to work out between visits and maintain my diet.

My diet has been better the last few days. I admit to allowing myself have a sweet treat most days, but I keep it small. The rest of my diet consists of lean proteins, veggies, fruits and occasional whole grains. I have been effective at cutting down portions this last few days. It's obvious that without keeping a close eye on intake, no amount of exercise in the world is going to cause me to lose weight. Calories in vs. calories out. I have not yet started counting every calorie and for some reason I am trying to avoid that, though I know it's not that hard once I make up my mind to do it. If I am not at or below my line Monday morning, I will add calorie counting to my bag of tricks.

So far, I feel good about my progress. Tomorrow will be the end of three full weeks of exercising regularly and I feel much better for it. The weight is slowly coming off and I know I have to be in this for the long haul to be successful, but that long haul is just a collection of days, none of which, on its own, is all that difficult. This is doable. Consistency is the key!!

Thanks for listening...

3/14/2012: Boston Cream Pie = Over My Line

As you can see, it is not my fault I was over my line Thursday morning. Carla just accepted a position as a pastry chef at a dude ranch this summer and she decided she needed to practice. Problem is, she's a vegan and can't taste her own food, so I reluctantly agreed to be her taste tester. Really, I was going to have one bite of this beautiful Boston Cream Pie, give a piece to Jack, and take the rest to work. But that first bite almost made me swoon, it was so good. I finished my piece, oohing and aahing over every bite. Oh my god it was good! That was before dinner. Carla had also made this wonderful dinner of sesame seed encrusted seitan with baked sweet potato fries and asparagus. It was actually pretty healthy, but I think that pie broke down any will power I might have had when I walked in the door from work, and I just ate too much. It all tasted so good. The good news is that I did not have another piece of Bostom Cream Pie after dinner and I did take the rest to work (except for the chunk that Jack ate for breakfast the next day).

Anyway, that all led up to the bad news of gaining 1.2 pounds and being over my line on Thursday morning. Official weight? 220. Ugh. But I worked hard at the gym yesterday morning and went run/walking with Carla this morning. I vow to exercise hard and eat easy all weekend. Monday morning's weigh in will bring me in back under my line. You'll see!!!

Looking Forward to Climbing Mountains, not Sliding Down any Stinking Hills!

It occured to me this morning that the title of my blog could be misconstrued. I realized one might read the title and think I was talking about the fact that losing this weight was going to be an uphill battle. While I agree, that it is going to be a lot of work and, yes, at times, it will seem like an uphill battle, that is not what I was thinking about when I picked, "It's Not Downhill From Here," as the title of my blog.


My title refers to the way I think about the upcoming second half of my life. That expression, "Over the hill," just sticks in my craw. I refuse to accept that I will be over-the-hill at 50, at 60, at 70, at 80, or ever. When I think about the first 50 years of my life and the obstacles I have overcome to reach the upcoming momentus birthday, and then I think about all of the things I can do in the next 50 years, I know the better half of my life is left to live. I am not on any downhill slide. In fact, I am out there looking for hills to climb, figuratively and literally. My figurative mountains involve career possibilities that I have dreamed about and that I now may be able to make a reality. Can I own my own business? Maybe so. There's not much stopping me now. Or perhaps I can run a non-profit that is doing something really meaningful to me. There are still so many things to do and there is no longer much in my way.

My literal mountains are all over the world! Two of my very favorite things to do are hike and camp. I have combined the two and gone backpacking once in my life and loved it! As I get older and have the opportunity to work less and play more, I plan on doing most of my playing in the great outdoors. I want to hike the Long Trail, backpack along the Appalacian Trail, play in the Rockies, and explore the Alps. I want to take in all the beauty the world has to offer, without a roof over my head or wheels under my butt (unless those wheels are on a bicycle). I want my own two feet to take me to and through the beautiful places in the world. There are endless hills out there to climb and I plan on getting up quite of few of them over the next 3 or 4 decades.

So, you see, it's not downhill from here. I have no intention of sitting on my (rather large) butt and coasting into the finish line. I intend to spend the next year working hard to get this amazing body I was graced with into fighting condition and spend the rest of my life pushing it to its limits. Am I going to work hard? Yes. But I am going to play even harder!

3/12/2012: Beginning of Week Three Weigh-in

I am below my line!! Hooray!! It took being perfect on my diet all weekend, but I weighed in at 218.8 pounds this morning, which is 0.2 pounds below my line and 5.2 pounds lost since February 27th. Whew! It was touch and go this week because of the number of events that caused me to eat in restaurants, but it all worked out. The exercising makes a huge difference. Next weigh in is on Thursday. I'll see you then, if not before.

3/11/2012: End of Week Two and a Pretty Crummy Photo

OK, I know the photo sucks, but in a way it's a good photo, too. I mean, it doesn't hide much, does it? This photo was taken this morning after Carla and I got back from the gym. Every Sunday I plan on taking and posting my picture so that the progress will be recorded for all to see!

I've also posted a close-up of my grid. As you can see, I've stuck right to my line (actual weight is in red, goal line is in blue) so far. I weigh in again tomorrow. Mondays and Thursdays I mark my chart, so Mondays and Thursdays I will log in and post my weight. It's time for me to head to bed, I need to be at the gym at 4:30 tomorrow morning. Wish me luck on my weigh in!

Till tomorrow...

3/4/2012: Week One and a Little More Back Story

Week one was a success!! By the end of the week I was right on my goal line, in spite of starting 2 pounds above it on Day One. This photograph was taken on a hike on Sunday, March 4th. One of the activities that Jack and I enjoy is hiking on the numerous trails in the Kansas City Region. We have a wonderful book that lists all of the trails within 50 miles or so of the city. Each time we go on a hike we try a different trail. It has been a great way to enjoy some of the scenery our region has to offer. If you ever want to join us, let us know. It is a wonderful way to spend a morning or afternoon on a pretty day.

Now, back to why I started this blog; which is to help me accomplish my weight loss goals. In more ways than I can count, I have been extraordinarily blessed with a strong and healthy body. In spite of the extra weight I have carried, on and off through most of my life, I don't have back pain, joint pain, any sign of cardio-vascular disease, or any of the multitude of weight related illnesses or injuries that can so easily occur. That does not mean I am taking my health for granted. So far, I am considering myself both blessed and lucky. But I know as I age my strength and my luck are not going to hold out, unless I take the initiative and start to lose this weight, for good.

For many, many years I have understood the importance of healthy eating and exercising. My meals, for the most part, are well balanced, freshly prepared, and reasonably proportioned. I enjoy healthy vegan and vegetarian dishes, eat a little poultry and no beef or pork. My biggest problem is sweets and snacking. I tend to eat to lift my mood and sometimes it seems that the only thing that will do the trick is a Milky Way or Hershey Bar. If I can cut out the sweets and snacking, my diet will be healthy and the only thing I will need to worry about is quantity. Fresh fruits and veggies are already a significant part of my diet.

When it comes to exercise, it's always been sporadic. I start exercise routines and start feeling better, only to let them fizzle out when "real life" gets in the way. It's time for me to realize that there will not be much of a "real life" left if I don't exercise at least an hour a day, six days a week.

During the first week I did manage to exercise 6 times. Three days of cardio and three days of strength training. The cardio consisted of exercise bikes, elipitical machines, treadmills, and stair climbers for a total of 60 minutes. I did my strength training with a personal trainer. After the third visit with the trainer, I decided to purchase ten more sessions. I meet with him once a week, on Thursdays, and he puts together my strength training routine for the week. That way every time I sign up for ten more sessions, I am signing up for 15 pounds. Somehow, that makes it all seem more manageable.

I love the outdoors. I want to spend the second half of my life playing outside; hiking, biking, camping, backpacking, canoeing, etc..., and I want my body to ready for whatever adventure comes my way. When I'm 75, I want to be hiking the Appalchian Trail, carrying my own gear. There is only one way that is going to happen and that is for me to take care of this issue, once and for all, starting right now!

Getting Real - February 26th, 2012

Here it is, my start photo. All 224 pounds of me. Carla took this photo after I got done making, "My Final for the Rest of my Life Weight Loss Grid," on February 26, 2012, pictured above. At that moment I thought I weighed 222 pounds. When I weighed in the next morning, February 27th, I found out I was starting out 2 pounds above my line. Ah well, such is life.

As I mentioned in my first post, my goal was to start this blog (and the journey it was meant to chronicle) in June 2011. At that point I believed I had the pieces in place and the motivation to make it happen. By “it” I mean getting truly healthy, losing the weight I need to lose, and developing a habit of exercise and good nutrition. The underlying motivation for this goal is to be very healthy during the 2nd half of my life. There's something about staring down that 50th birthday that causes one to take an inventory. I've battled my weight all my life. There were years when I had my weight at a reasonable level and I felt great. But I have had more years when I was too heavy (200+ lbs) and did not feel great at all. But something really clicked in this last year. One of the contributing factors to that "click" was reading the book, Younger Next Year. Although I have known most of my life that I would look and feel better if I exercised every day, that book helped me understand how important exercise really is to enjoying the second half of my life. My first blog post, originally written last June, came about as a result of reading that book.

A lot has happened since then, some good, some not so good. Unfortunately, one of the things that has not happened is I have not lost any weight. Do I weigh more today than I did then? Honestly, I'm not sure. I know I have lost a few pounds since then, and I’ve gained a few pounds since then, and I lost it again and gained it again. But I am talking just a few pounds. To get right down to it, I have been hovering around the 220lb mark for a couple of years.

When I made that original post, I was training for a 500 mile bike ride. Training for that ride did motivate me to exercise regularly but I wasn't dieting; therefore, I was still right around 220lbs, maybe a little less, on day zero of the ride. That did not deter me, I went on the ride and had a blast. I rode every mile and felt good, except for some saddle sores (can you say ouch?). In spite of some long days, including our 106 mile first day, I did not have any knee or muscle pain. In reality, the ride was not difficult for me to do. It was reassuring to know that I could ride my bike 500 miles in a week. Obviously I was healthy, strong, and had stamina; but that did not erase the fact that I knew I was overweight and I needed to do something about it.

When we got home from the ride, I managed to keep up the habit of exercising a few days a week. Mostly that exercise consisted of 4 mile walk/jogs before breakfast. I was also doing some weight lifting with a free weight set that I have at home. I kept up this almost regular exercise routine until Thanksgiving, which is when I let it all go. I am pretty sure that before I left for our Thanksgiving holiday in Sonoma I weighed 217 or 218 pounds. Between Thanksgiving 2011 and February 26, 2012, I think I exercised 4 times, maybe 5. My eating habits fluctuated based on my mood, and most of the time I was feeling stressed. The result? I gained six pounds in approximately 3 months, which got me back to 224lbs on the morning of February 27th.

The mental battle I've been fighting with myself came to a climax when I started to realize that I was starting to feel depressed. I knew I needed to take action, and I needed to take action quickly. I had to throw the excuses out the window and do something about it. At about that time a friend at work mentioned that she was going to 24 Hour Fitness, a gym 2.4 miles from my house that is open, obviously, 24 hours a day. Up to that moment I had used the excuse that there were no gyms close enough to home that were open early enough in the morning to fit into my routine. With that excuse obliterated, I decided to join the gym and sign up for three Personal Training sessions. As soon as I signed on the dotted line my analytical mind took over and I started formulating a plan of action. I set a target weight of 150 pounds, because I know at that weight I feel healthy and I like the way I look. I chose 1.5 pounds a week because I know that is fast enough to see progress, but slow enough to be healthy and attainable. I made the chart pictured above as a way to graphically represent my progress and to help keep me motivated. It is posted on my bathroom wall.

As you can see, I taped my start photo to the graph as another motivational tool. It was later in the week that I had the idea to take my photo every Sunday, and tape them up, too. I am also making notes on the chart, to remind myself of signficant moments during the process. Others are encouraged to write comments on my chart, as well. In fact, if you have words of wisdom, encouragement or inspiration that you want to share; feel free to comment on my blog and I will print them out and tape them to my chart, too!

I am using this blog as another tool in my tool box. I am hoping that by posting my story, my photos, and my progress on my chart; I will be more motivated to succeed.

Thanks for listening!!

Happy Birthday!!

This picture was taken on my 49th birthday, which was almost 10 months ago. Two months later I started a blog. I managed to post one short little entry, in which I talked about the fact that I was turning 50 in ten months, on May 3, 2012, and that being fit at 50 was my goal. Well, now, 8 months later I am starting again. I am using every trick I know to reach my goal of 150 pounds by February 4, 2012; and that includes putting it all out there in this blog. The following few posts will catch you up from then to know. After that, we'll be real time!

PS - my daughter, Carla, baked the cake! Isn't it beautiful? And vegan, too!!