Wednesday, September 21, 2016

9/21/16: Still Sick - No Exercise for Me

Weight:  154.6
Exercise:  None

I'm tired of being sick and being sick is making me tired.  I trying to get plenty of sleep, drink a lot of water, and eat good food.  I'm not going to resume exercising until I feel much better.  It sucks, but it is what it is.

With luck, tomorrow will be a better day.


Monday, September 19, 2016

9/19/2016: Sick

Weight:  155.8
Exercise:  None for a couple of days

We spent Saturday at the zoo.  It was a beautiful day to be outdoors and it was a fun way to spend the day.  It was the first time that I had been to the KC Zoo since my kids were kids.  By the end of the afternoon I was feeling tired and sluggish, which surprised me.  We walked a lot but we didn't walk that much.  It shouldn't have worn me out.  By the time I went to bed I knew I was sick.  I had a fever, a headache, a stuffy nose, and muscle aches and pains.  I spent the whole day yesterday doing nothing, just sitting in my recliner napping and reading.  I don't feel much better today.  I'm taking Tylenol for the fever and aches and taking it easy.  I hope to feel a lot better before I have to go to work, tomorrow.  I need to get to the grocery store today and get some cooking done.  Other than that, I should be able to rest most of the day.


Friday, September 16, 2016

9/16/16: Just Not Feeling It

Weight:  155.8
Exercise:  Today:  Back, triceps & core
Yesterday:  Week 5, Run 2:  Distance - 3.3 miles, time - 43:21, pace 12:49

I'm just not feeling it.  I didn't exercise on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I did get out of bed for my run yesterday and I worked out with Lauren this morning.  I'm blaming it on uncertainty at work.  I think that's it.  I feel so blah.

I didn't sleep at all on Monday, but I slept fine the rest of the week, so I am getting enough sleep.  I'm focusing on drinking enough water.  Food's OK, not perfect, though. I need to do better.

I probably have a bit of tendinitis in my left elbow.  We are going to rest it for a month and forego all bicep exercises for that period of time.  That's OK.  We'll focus on lower body, core and back; and I'll keep on running.  Shit happens.  I can live with this.  When it's healed will start with grip strengthening and gradually build up from there.

That's all I've got for today.  Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.


Tuesday, September 13, 2016

9/13/2016: No Sleep

Weight:  155.2
Exercise:  Yesterday:  Week 5, Run 1, for distance.  Miles - 6.  Time - 1:17:07, Pace - 12:41

Yesterday's run felt good.  Taking Galloway's advice, I walked a portion of each mile from the beginning of my run.  I walked a few blocks to warm up, then I ran to the first mile marker.  Starting with that first mile marker and at each mile marker after that, I walked for about 1/8 - 1/6 of a mile. Then I ran to the next mile marker until I got to the last mile.  By the last mile I was pretty tired so I started measuring by telephone poles.  I walked two poles, then I ran two poles, then I walked two poles, etc., until I got home.

I didn't get a whole lot done yesterday.  My new work schedule still feels so new that Mondays off feel like a luxury and I am not rushing around to actually gets things done.  Eventually I'll use Mondays and Fridays as days to get chores and tasks complete so that we can use the weekends more productively.  That hasn't started happening yet.

I couldn't sleep last night, which is unusual for me.  I can think of two possible causes for my insomnia.  I may have been dehydrated, when I look back at yesterday I did not drink enough water. My sleep schedule was thrown off a little because I didn't get up as early as I usually do for the past three days.  I have to be careful to keep my sleep schedule consistent, even though my work schedule has changed.  I'll make sure I drink enough water today.  I hope I sleep much better tonight.

Have a great day!!

Monday, September 12, 2016

9/12/2016: Work - Three Days a Week

Weight:  155.8
Exercise:  Yesterday I played kickball.  Today I will run.

You may have noticed that I have said, "Today is a day off from work," a few times in the last couple of weeks.  No, I'm not taking a lot of vacation days.  I am officially working 3 days a week.  In what I hope is a win-win for my employers and for me, I have agreed to take a 40% cut in pay and work 3 days a week; Tuesdays through Thursdays, most weeks.  This will help the company with cash flow through lean times and it will give me more time to do the things I want to do away from work.  It hasn't begun to feel like routine yet, so I have no idea how well this is going to work out.  I also haven't started receiving my smaller paychecks yet.  The first one will be this week.  I think this is a good idea.  I'll let you know how it goes.

I don't have any new news on the exercise/diet/fitness front.  I spent yesterday afternoon cooking meals for the week.  I still believe that is the best way to go.  It's such a relief to have it done and have all of our meals in the refrigerator, ready to go.  It makes staying on plan so much easier.

I bought a reflective vest and lights for my earlier morning runs.  I bought a compression sleeve for my left elbow.  It's always fun getting more gear, even if it is little stuff like that.

That's it for now.  Have a great day!
 

Sunday, September 11, 2016

9/11/2016: This is a Forever Thing

Weight:  155.4
Exercise:  Today is my day off.  We are playing kickball this afternoon.  I'll try not to break anything.

I talked to my trainer about this at some length yesterday, and the conversation came up with my sister, too.  I am going to have to fight to keep my weight under control for the rest of my life.  There are times when the urge to eat more calories than I require for weight maintenance is completely overwhelming.  There are day when I'll think about food all day long.  Sometimes I'll get the idea of a certain kind of food stuck in my head and that's all I can think about.  Mostly, though, on days like this, I have an almost uncontrollable urge to eat anything and everything.  On some days, you can remove that word, "almost."  Based on what I've read recently about how the body changes after significant weight loss, this crazy urge to consume food is not a sign of weakness or addiction, it's caused by a change in the body's hormones and physiological make up.  For many years after significant weight loss, and perhaps forever, my body will be trying to gain back the weight it lost.  I don't just "feel" hungry, I really am hungry.  The hormones that suppress hunger are lower and the hormones that stimulate hunger are higher, because I lost a lot of weight.  These are not emotional or psychological cravings, these are physiological signals being sent to my brain saying, "I need to eat, now!"  Most of the time I can suppress these urges, sometimes I succumb to them.

When I succumb to the cravings, the other major factor playing into the fight to stay thin is the fact that I can't eat very much food without gaining weight.  If I eat between 1500 and 1600 calories a day, I will maintain my weight.  Any more than that, and I start gaining weight.  That's not a lot of food.  It's enough food that I feel satisfied after my meals, but there is nothing extra built in there.  If I indulge in anything outside of a normal meal, I will see a bump on the scale the next day.  I have to be ever-vigilant with my diet.

Coupled with the above facts is the fact that I got fat in the first place due to an over-consumption problem.  I ate too much because it made me feel good to eat.  Food is soothing.  Eating is something I want to do when I am stressed.  I have always liked to eat.

This is not a lost cause, though.  As difficult as it sounds, I know I will stay close to my ideal weight of 150 pounds forever.  It's going to be a fight, it already is a fight, but it is worth the fight.  I absolutely hate being fat.  I don't like the way I look or feel when I'm overweight.  When I am fat, everything hurts and I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.  I feel gross and don't want to present myself to the world.  It's hard to do the physical things I really enjoy doing.  When I'm fat, I think about the damage I am doing to my body, how much harder I am making it work.  I think about how I'm damaging my circulatory system, my joints, and my brain.  I know it's bad for me and it depresses the hell out of me.

These negative thoughts don't just go away when I am at a healthy weight, they are completely reversed.  I am so much happier when I'm thin.  My feet don't hurt when I get out of bed in the morning.  My body doesn't ache.  I smell better, which I believe is an indication of better health.  I like getting dressed in the morning because my clothes fit and they look good on me.  I can do the things I like to do.  My body is strong and I can demand more from it.  It feels good to be alive. When I'm fat, I want to curl up in a ball in a corner and hide from the world.  When I'm thin I want go out and see what comes next.  Being healthy and thin changes my entire outlook on life.  It is worth the fight.  I will never give up.  I will weigh myself everyday.  I will eat too much on some days.  I will gain a little weight.  I will not beat myself up.  I will acknowledge that this is difficult.  I will get back on program.  I will not beat myself up.  That's worth repeating.

I'm going to keep fighting the good fight.

Have a good one out there!!


Saturday, September 10, 2016

9/10/2016: Weekend!

Weight:  155.2
Exercise:  Strength:  Back & Biceps

Today was back and biceps.  The bicep exercises are the ones that have potential to hurt my elbow, so we experimented with some different exercises to see what I could and could not do until it heals.  We are going to avoid anything that hurts at all until it's completely healed.  Hammer curls don't hurt, but all other bicep curls do.  I am going to get an elbow compression sleeve to wear while lifting weights until it's healed.

Here is this morning's workout:


I don't have much to talk about today.  It's beautiful out and it's already 11:30 so I am going to sign off for the day.

I hope it's just as pretty wherever you are!

Friday, September 9, 2016

9/9/2016: Running in the Rain

Weight:  155.6
Exercise:  Run:  3.2 miles. time 46:50, pace 14:16

As I was eating breakfast and finishing my coffee this morning, I was contemplating my run and I knew in my heart of hearts that I really didn't feel like getting out there today.  But I also knew in my heart of hearts that getting out there today was exactly what I had to do.  So I finished my breakfast, drank my coffee, did the dishes, put on my running clothes, donned my rain gear and headed out the door.  It rained steadily for my entire run and it was very dark.  I need to get a reflective vest if I am going to run in this kind of weather; I was anxious about drivers' visibility with the rain hitting their windshields.  My rain jacket is light colored, but it's not that light.  I'll be looking for a reflective vest or something like that this weekend.  I walked a significant portion of today's run.  As I said, my heart just wasn't in it.  But I got the miles in.

Here is yesterday's workout:


None of these exercises put any strain on my left inner elbow. so that was good.  I increased my weights on the Bench Press and the Bench Pause Reps.  With the Bench Pause Reps you lower the barbell all the way to your chest and let it rest there for a second, and then push it back up from the resting position.  This is much more difficult than the Bench Press, surprisingly so.

I'm  not having any trouble at all with food this week.  I woke up Tuesday morning, saw how much I weighed and that was that, back on program.  Why I couldn't do that at 154, 155, or 156 pounds, I don't know.  Perhaps it wasn't so much the number on the scale that flipped the switch as it was getting back from a weekend away re-energized.  Whatever it is, I'm grateful not to be struggling with my food program.  It's felt very natural to stay on program.  I haven't been having cravings and I haven't been wanting to eat crap or overeat.  What a relief.  I had a rough several weeks with constant hunger, cravings, overeating, and indulging in off program foods.  Hormones?  Probably.  I can't beat myself up about it, I just need to stay vigilant and be as consistent as I can be.  Also. no matter what is going on with food, I need to keep my exercise program consistent.  That has helped a lot!

Enjoy the day!  Rain or no rain, at least it's warm.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

9/8/2016: Keeping it off: Why is it so difficult?

Weight:  156.4
Exercise:  Weight lifting later today - I'm not working today

I just googled, "Why is it so difficult to keep weight off" and the below article came up.  The article was written about a study done in Australia in 2011.   Fifty subjects that were healthy but overweight participated in the study.  They were put on severely calorie restrictive diets (500 to 550 calories a day) designed to cause them to lose 10% of their body weight in 10 weeks.  Once the weight was lost, they were put on maintenance diets for a year.  Their hormone levels were measured three times: at the beginning of the study, after the 10 week weight loss period, and after one year on the maintenance diet.

Three hormones were measured, leptin (which tells the body how much fat is present), ghrelin (stimulates hunger), and peptide YY (also stimulates hungers).  After the 10 week diet, leptin decreased by 66% from the pre-diet levels.  One year later, leptin was still 33% lower than normal. Ghrelin and peptide YY were elevated after the 10 week diet and remained elevated a year later. making the subjects' appetites stronger than at the start of the study.

Below is a quote from the article's conclusion:
The results show, once again, Dr. Leibel said, that losing weight "is not a neutral event," and that it is no accident that more than 90 percent of people who lose a lot of weight gain it back.  "You are putting your body into a circumstance it will resist," he said.  "You are, in a sense, more metabolically normal when you are at a higher body weight." 
Link to article:  www.nytimes.com/2011/10/27/health/biological-changes-thwart-weight-loss-efforts-study-finds.html?_r=0

I spent the next half hour reading several more articles.  It was interesting how many referred back to the above 2011 study.  Most of the rest of them referred to the study done on several Biggest Loser contestants.  They all say basically the same thing, that the body is metabolically altered after losing a significant amount of weight.  The change in the body after weight loss makes it physically and mentally difficult to stay at a lower weight.  Not impossible, just difficult.

My takeaways are this:

  • Avoid long periods of severe calorie restriction.  
  • While trying to lose weight, make changes that are sustainable for the rest of your life.  In order to keep weight off, you will have to forever maintain the habits that you incorporated into your life in order to take the weight off.
  • Don't be in a hurry.  It's not a race.  This really is a lifestyle change.  This sounds trite, but it's true.
  • Don't beat yourself up if you gain back a few pounds, but definitely respond to it quickly. Don't let 5 pounds become 10, and 10 become 20.  
  • Never forget why it matters to you to weigh your healthy weight.  In one article I read the participants of a study said that they would rather be blinded or have a leg amputated than be fat again, yet they gained weight back anyway.  Wow.  I get that.  
  • Don't suffer through this.  Long term suffering will result in giving up.  A healthy lifestyle that promotes a healthy weight has to be normal and OK (perhaps even enjoyable) with you, or it won't last.
  • Develop a food plan for life that is healthy and delicious.  Follow it consistently. 
  • Develop an activity plan that you enjoy.  To exercise consistently, you must enjoy it.  For some of us, that is hard to imagine.  Several years ago I often stated, rather emphatically, "I hate exercise!"  Well, guess what?  That doesn't work.  If you hate it, you'll eventually quit doing it. First step, stop saying you hate it.  Second step, keep trying new things until you find something you enjoy.  Third step, find someone to do it with.  Fourth step, play games or participate in activities that are more fun if you're fit.  Somewhere in there, I don't which step it is, make physical activity a priority.
As I think about all of this and as I struggle with finding the right balance of discipline and reward, my thoughts go back to one nagging question, "How can we help other people from ever getting into this predicament in the first place?"

For me and countless other people, the damage is done.  By being 100 pounds overweight earlier in life, I have forever and irreparably damaged my body.  That's a fact.  I have undone a lot of the damage.  I've lost the weight.  I exercise regularly.  I am healthy.  I am strong.  I paid a surgeon to remove a lot of excess skin.  I'm starting to enjoy my exercise routines.  I like to play physical games. I enjoy hiking and other activities in which I must physically push myself.  I have a food program that is healthy and that I enjoy. All of this is great, but it's not the entire story.  The physical evidence of once being overweight is ever present in the form of stretch marks on my thighs, hips, belly and breasts.  My body wants to gain the weight back.  I can't eat much more than 1500 calories a day without gaining weight.  Sometimes, the desire to eat more than 1500 calories a day is overwhelming. Physiologically, I am a different person than I would have been if I was never significantly overweight.

So how do we learn from this? How do we, as a society, take everything we've learned and apply this to real life?  There are millions and millions of us that are overweight and that would be healthier and, I believe, happier if they lost weight.  So part of the question is how do we help them.  But to me, the bigger question is how do we help keep people from getting overweight in the first place.  It seems to me that that needs to be our focus. Wouldn't it make sense to start teaching nutrition in preschool and to continue teaching it every single day until kids graduate from high school? Shouldn't exercise become a part of every child's day, everyday? What is more important, in the long run, than that?  Nutrition, exercise, and the components of a healthy lifestyle can be built into almost any lesson.  Math, science, history, art, music, social studies, political science; you name it, you can incorporate some element of health education into it.  By the time a kid graduates from high school, this should be stuff that they just know.  It should be second nature.  I am astounded by the number of people I talk to that just don't know enough.  The information is out there, if you want to learn, but as an adult it is so much harder.  You have to want the information.  But if we start incorporating this information into the everyday lessons of toddlers, they'll grow up with this knowledge.  I'm not saying that this will solve the problem, but I do believe it would be a huge step in the right direction. From everything I've read and from my own personal experience, it sure seems like one of the most important things we can do for the next generation is to provide them with the tools they need so that they don't become overweight in the first place. I think about this a lot. I worry about it a lot.  I don't know the answers, but I do know that this is not just my struggle. It's our struggle. And, as they say, the struggle is real.

That's all I've got for today.  Have a good one!!


Wednesday, September 7, 2016

9/7/2016: Getting Back in the Groove

Weight:  158.0
Exercise:  Yesterday - Legs and Shoulders
Exercise:  Today - Run:  Week 4, Run 2, Base:  3.2 miles, 43.35 minutes. 13:30 average speed

Here is yesterday's workout:

I won't use the blue pencil next time, it's hard to read.  I have started doing grip exercises because I am having some pain in my inside left elbow.  It is particularly painful when I do a dumbbell curl, but it does not hurt when I do a hammer curl.  My trainer said that indicates that my grip is weak in my left hand so my arm is compensating for the weak grip, putting too much tension on the tendon.  We are avoiding all exercises that hurt until it heals and we are working on improving grip strength.  I had a similar problem about a year ago.  I should have kept up with the grip strengthening exercises, but I completely forgot about it until it started hurting again.

The running is going fine.  It's helping me a lot not to pressure myself to run further and faster.  I'm not dreading the runs nearly as much as I was.  I try to focus on form for parts of my run and that seems to be helping, too.  I feel pretty good about how the running is progressing.

Of course I ate too much while we were on our little vacation.  I got back on program first thing yesterday morning, though.  Whatever.  I am sure I'll be fighting this 8-10 pounds for the rest of my life.  While I can allow myself to get frustrated about it, it's really not that bad.  I'd rather have to lose 8 pounds 200 more times in my life than ever have to lose 100 pounds again.  I'm going to keep fighting the good fight.  Who knows?  Maybe someday my body will be content at 150.  I kind of doubt it, but you never know.  It seems odd to me that it wants to gain weight.  I am happier at 150-151, I feel better, I'm healthier, and yet, I start eating too much and I start gaining weight.  It makes no sense.  Why wouldn't the natural tendency be to stay at a healthy weight?  I know the theories about evolution and food scarcity and set points.  Sometimes I just want it to be easier.  Oh well.  It is what it is and it's worth the hard work and discipline.

Discipline is key.  When I am in my super-disciplined mode, it's easy to stay on track.  The second I stop being super-disciplined, it all starts to slide.  I can't seem to be relaxed about my diet and not start gaining weight.  I guess that's the part that I find frustrating.  I don't know why exactly.  There is nothing wrong about being disciplined, except that sometimes I don't want to be. Such is life.

It's time to get my day started.  Have a great day!!

Saturday, September 3, 2016

9/2/16: Well That Was a Really Bad Idea

Weight:  157.2
Exercise:  5 mile run yesterday, I work out with Lauren this morning

Yesterday I had this notion that maybe I could be a little less strict about my diet and not gain weight because I was exercising so much.  I guess that plan didn't play out very well.  I gained 3.5 pounds yesterday.  This is why I am so super strict.

I didn't eat that much.  I didn't eat anything sweet.  I also didn't eat at home.  I had lunch out with a friend (a salad) and we ate dinner out at a bar and grill.  Dinner out was not the healthiest thing in the world, but it was a small meal.  I had potato skins stuffed with pulled pork and a dinner salad.  It really wasn't very much food.  I also had a beer.  I maybe would have done OK with all of that, if it hadn't been for the ball game.  At around the third inning I decided to get a bag of peanuts and another beer.   I guess it was a cheat day and it showed up on the scale in a big way.  Food is something I just can't afford to mess around with.

I will recover from this, of that I'm certain.  Unfortunately, it is going to be difficult to be really strict with food for the next couple of days because Jack and I are going on a little road trip, leaving this morning and coming back on Monday.  I am going to have to make very careful choices while we are gone.

It's kind of a shame that my weight jumped up so much overnight because I was feeling pretty good about everything.  My weight had started coming back down, my stress level was coming down a little bit, my exercise program is feeling solid, and I enjoyed my day off.  This is why I have to weigh myself every single day.  All it takes is one day and the slide really starts.

I probably won't post from the road.  My next post will probably be on Tuesday morning.

Enjoy your holiday weekend.

Friday, September 2, 2016

9/2/16: Run is Done - And Thoughts on Cross Training

Week 3, Run 3, for Distance.  5 miles, Time 1:04:09, avg speed 12:36/mile.  I don't know why I was faster today than normal.  My goal isn't for speed, my goal is to get the miles in.

I have been changing my attitude about running.  I set my distance and run as much of it as I feel like running.  Then I walk.  When I am tired of walking I run again, and then I walk, and so on until the distance is done.  I used to push myself to run a little further each time, now I am focusing on listening to my body.  It makes running less of a chore and a little more fun.  It also reduces the risk of injury.  I think it makes sense.

I have also been thinking about cross training.  It occurs to me that anyone that is serious about exercise probably has one form of exercise that they really like and then they cross train for overall health, fitness and well being.  For me, I really like weight lifting.  I invest most of my exercise budget (time and money) in weight training (buying gear, hiring a trainer, investing the time working out).  I run because I think it's good for me and ultimately it will improve my strength training.

Other people like to run, swim, row, ski, hike, walk, cycle, etc.  That's where they will invest the bulk of their time and money, and they'll strength train because it's good for them.

This makes sense to me.  Find an exercise that you love and invest heavily in it.  Then cross train for overall well being.  I like this idea.

OK - I must go.  Time's a-wasting.

9/2/2016: Four Day Weekend

Weight:  153.4
Exercise:  Run for Distance (about 4.8 miles) scheduled for today

Today is the first day of a four day weekend.  Knowing that I would have the day off today and with a significant deadline at work looming, I worked late last night.  I didn't end up going to bed until after 10:00, so I slept until 6:00 this morning, then I got up, made breakfast and took Jackie to work so that Steve could use the Rabbit today.  I have a busy day planned:  Pay the bills, go for a run, go out to lunch with a friend, get a manicure and pedicure, stop at the grocery store for food for dinner, prep dinner, pick Jackie up from work, cook dinner, and go to a ball game.  Hardly feels like a day off!!  

Exercise is going fine.  Food is still not great.  Stress is still high, but better.  Jack and I are taking a little road trip this weekend.  We are staying at a B&B in Wilson, Kansas, and are going to go visit the Garden of Eden in Lucas, among other things.  Check out the website.  This place looks pretty freaky/cool:  http://www.garden-of-eden-lucas-kansas.com.  I am billing this as a Romantic Weekend Getaway.  I think it will be a lot of fun and quite relaxing!  Just what the doctor ordered!!

I guess that's all I've got for today.  No major epiphanies or pronouncements.  Just trying to sort out what comes next in this crazy life of mine.

Have a good one out there!




Thursday, September 1, 2016

9/1/16 - update

Weight:  154.0
Exercise:  Chest and triceps

I am running late, so just an update.

My workout this morning took 56 minutes.  It was very difficult.  It is much harder to focus on a couple of specific muscle groups for an hour than it is to do a full body workout.  I'm still adjusting.

Have a wonderful day!!