10/27/2018 - Motivation

Do you want to know great motivation to stick to a diet when all you've been wanting to do lately is eat?  Buy a house with a pool!  We close on November 26th (If all goes according to plan) and we move in on November 30th.  I will be wearing a bathing suit all summer long and I definitely want to feel comfortable in it!!

Here are a few pictures of our new home.  I can't wait to move in!!

We are going to live up north, just south of Platte City.  My commute to work will be about 35 minutes.  I had a check list and a short commute was on the check list, but it turned out everything else on my check list was more important.  When we saw this house we new it was the one.  Right now, the fence backs up to the pool area.  We are going to push it back a bit so that we will have a larger yard for the dog and for the grandkids to play in without going out of the fence.

It's my dream house.  We couldn't get an inn, but yes, I think this might be a better plan.  I have a job I love at the ACLU Kansas that I plan on doing for the rest of my working life (which will probably be most of the rest of my life), and we have found a beautiful home with an oasis for a back yard.  I've always wanted a back yard oasis!  Here it is.  And it has a beautiful home with a gorgeous kitchen to go with it.

We feel so fortunate!  The previous owner owns a company that does high end pools, landscaping and stone work.  He did all of the landscaping for this house and all of the upgrades inside, including the stonework on and around the fireplaces, the stone floor in the downstairs bathroom, the granite countertops in the kitchen and the stone facing in the wet bar.  He really did gorgeous work.

And it really is motivating to know that backyard will be ours.  I will feel confident and healthy as I am playing in the pool!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we will see you there!

Now - to sell this house!!

Have a great weekend.  I know we will be busy with chores!!

10/20/18: Here we go again!

I have had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that I have gained a lot of weight and I need to do something about it.  Obviously, I know I have gained a lot of weight, but actually accepting this fact and taking action to do something about it is something I have been avoiding.  Avoiding by not looking in the mirror, avoiding by limiting the number of people I am socializing with, avoiding by hiding behind more food.

I hate admitting to myself that this is a problem that I will fight for the rest of my life.  I want to solve the problem and move on.  It just isn't working out that way.

I refuse to give up, though.  I will fight it.

Today, in about an hour, Lauren, my personal trainer from before I left for New Hampshire will be here.  She hasn't seen me yet but I told her how bad of shape I am in.  I am so self conscious about this.

First steps.  I have been looking forward to my first session with Lauren since the day we made the appointment.  I explained to her a long time ago that staying in shape (having a reasonable diet and a reasonable exercise routine) is one area of my life in which I need consistent help.  I have not been able to do this alone, even when I am in shape, I can't stay in shape without help.  For some reason, this makes me feel ashamed.  I feel like I should just be able to do this.  I know what to do, I know what to eat, I know how to exercise; but it has never been something I can do, consistently, without help. But when I have help, when I have a "rent-a-friend," I have the strength to do this thing.  I knew months ago that it would help me to call Lauren, but I wasn't working and couldn't justify the cost.  I started my new job a month ago, this is one of the things that I am going to pay for with my salary.

I wasn't planning on blogging again.  I thought I was done with this.  But as I was waiting for Lauren to arrive all of a sudden I had the urge to put this out there.  I guess it's my way of owning the fact that I have to start this process all over again.  Sad, but true.  Here we go.

This isn't about looking good, this is about feeling good.  I am in a lot of pain.  My feet and knees hurt.  I am uncomfortable.  I need to lose weight to be healthy and feel good.

It's not all doom and gloom.  I love my new job.  I am the Finance Director of the ACLU of Kansas.  It is an amazing organization that does incredibly good work.  I work with a dozen smart and caring people.  What a wonderful place to call home.  Jack and I have decided to stay in Kansas City, so we are looking for a new house, our forever house.  If I can't have an inn, then I can have my dream house!!  One of the things I am looking for is a back yard oasis.  I have always wanted a back yard that is my little escape from the rest of the world.  We found a house on realtor.com that has a gorgeous backyard, including a swimming pool.  We plan to go see it with our realtor later today or one evening this week.  I hope I like the house as much as I love the back yard!

Our puppy, Starbuck, has been a wonderful new addition to our family.  It's hard to believe she has only been with us 6 months.  She has most definitely won our hearts.  She's playful, loving, and smart.  One of the criteria for the new house is a yard for the pup!!

I need to go squeeze myself into a jogging bra.  Ugh.

Talk to you later.

Roberta