Tuesday, September 17, 2013
9/17/13: Is This Making Me Happy?
A strange awareness has been dawning over me lately. I am realizing that my decision to become a competitive triathlete is making me happy. When I made the decision to become competitive in this sport I knew it would take a tremendous amount of time and effort. It has been a little over three weeks since I made this decision and I now realize that I underestimated the impact that the decision would have on my everyday life. This decision impacts everything from what I eat, to how much I sleep, to the time I spend planning workouts, to scheduling (well deserved) rest days, to the actual time and effort spent training. I am just beginning to understand the meaning of being "in-training." Being in-training doesn't mean that I exercise 5 or 6 or 7 or even 8 hours a week. Being in-training means considering how everything I do will influence tomorrow's performance. I have to get enough sleep, I have to eat enough protein, I have to shed the extra fat from my body, and I have to carefully plan my weeks so that I can fit in all of my workouts. None of these things - and there are many I haven't mentioned - are optional if I want to compete in this, or any other, sport. As this realization dawned on me I initially thought I would get overwhelmed by it all. I am finding the exact opposite to be true. As I get more focused and more disciplined, as I structure my workouts better and start to actually measure progress, and as I become more conscientious about how every decision will impact my ability to train effectively; I am becoming more energized and, dare I say, happier. I am surprised by this. I wasn't expecting this feeling of happiness. I was expecting a sense of achievement and, perhaps fulfillment. I expected a sense of satisfaction, but happiness? I have never associated extremely hard exercise and discipline with happiness before. But here I am. Working harder, physically, than I have ever worked in my life and feeling happy. Wow. I know there will be weeks when this will be a slog. I know I will get tired and frustrated when progress is slow. I am prepared for that and I will push through those weeks. I am not naive and I don't expect to be happy every day, but this feeling of happiness is bubbling up from somewhere deep inside me and it is being unlocked because of my commitment to excel as an athlete. I didn't expect this, but I'll take it. I'm surprised and I'm marveling at it, but I'll take it. I am not about to argue with results! Is this making me happy? It sure is!!
Monday, September 16, 2013
9/16/2013: Remarkable?
I went for a bike ride yesterday and the only thing remarkable about that bike ride is that I went on a bike ride. I am fairly certain that yesterday was the first time that I did not take a rest day the day after a big brick, and now I know why!! When I got on my bike my legs did not want to cooperate at all, they were so tired from the 24 mile bike/5 mile run brick on Saturday. It was all I could do yesterday to crank out 12 relatively slow, kind of hilly miles, but crank them out I did. I decided that it probably made me a stronger cyclist to ride for an hour on tired legs. Whether it did or not, that is what I will choose to believe.
I also went to the gym yesterday to do upper body strength training. Jack came with me, which he often does on weekends, but yesterday we did the upper body routine together, which was fun. He has gotten a lot stronger since he has started to go to the gym regularly!! There is no doubt that it is paying off for both of us. I am taking a rest day, today. My body is tired and needs time to recover. I'm beginning to think that it might make sense to make Monday my regular rest day, since my workouts are always longer and more intense on the weekends. I have to give that some thought and think about changing my strength training schedule to accommodate for that.
Yesterday I ate 2024 calories and 102 grams of protein. Total calories were a little more than I normally eat, but the amount of exercise I do on the weekend is more than I do during the week and I think the extra calories were important yesterday, particularly since I couldn't really eat after my brick on Saturday. I didn't do any unintentional eating, yesterday, so that seems fine. This morning I weighed 156.2 pounds which is a slight gain from Sunday morning, but I'm still under my line and I'm OK with that.
My commitment to my eating plan remains strong. In fact, food commercials on TV are really starting to annoy me. Jack had football on TV most of the day yesterday and when I sat in the family room with him I felt like I was being inundated with demands to eat every kind of unhealthy food imaginable. Every commercial featured food that was either fried or loaded with simple carbs, even the milk commercials felt misleading. I wanted to shout at the TV to stop with the horrible food commercials, perhaps I actually did shout at the TV. Yelling at the TV didn't do any good, though I did find that the commercials strengthened my resolve to eat good food, rather than weakened it. When I see advertisements for crappy food I automatically think about how those foods contribute to being overweight and all of the ailments associated with poor diet and being fat and I am relieved that I don't eat that kind of food. On the other hand, I worry about how much crap people, in general, eat, and I wish there was something I could do to stop it. I wish there was a health announcement for every crap food commercial, or at least a surgeon general's warning message at the end of the commercial that said that the dish being advertised contains 1200 calories and almost none of the necessary nutrients needed to maintain good health. I get frustrated by how commonplace crap food is and how seldom you see good food in public spaces. I get frustrated that there is so little attention given to the health risks of eating foods that are high in calories and void in nutrients. I feel like there should be a lot more public discussion about the dangers of crappy food and how crap foods contribute to things like heart disease and diabetes. We are hearing more and more about the "obesity epidemic," which I believe is a real problem, but there still is not a huge public conversation about food that isn't really food at all. *Sigh* Perhaps this is something I need to give some more thought to. Perhaps this is a cause I can put some energy behind and help some people in some meaningful way, rather than just rant about it on my blog. Hmmm...I definitely need to think about this...
In the meantime, I am focused on my health and my husband's health and I feel very good about the progress we are making with our food and our exercise. Training to become a triathlete is time consuming and bleeds into just about every aspect of my life, but I kind of like it. It gives everything focus and clarity in a way that I didn't have before. This is an incredibly gradual process with barely distinguishable progress, but I feel good and that's about 90% of what I am looking for from this. I have no idea what kind of shape I'll be in when the tri rolls around next year, except that I know I will be in better shape than I am today. What more can I ask for?
I also went to the gym yesterday to do upper body strength training. Jack came with me, which he often does on weekends, but yesterday we did the upper body routine together, which was fun. He has gotten a lot stronger since he has started to go to the gym regularly!! There is no doubt that it is paying off for both of us. I am taking a rest day, today. My body is tired and needs time to recover. I'm beginning to think that it might make sense to make Monday my regular rest day, since my workouts are always longer and more intense on the weekends. I have to give that some thought and think about changing my strength training schedule to accommodate for that.
Yesterday I ate 2024 calories and 102 grams of protein. Total calories were a little more than I normally eat, but the amount of exercise I do on the weekend is more than I do during the week and I think the extra calories were important yesterday, particularly since I couldn't really eat after my brick on Saturday. I didn't do any unintentional eating, yesterday, so that seems fine. This morning I weighed 156.2 pounds which is a slight gain from Sunday morning, but I'm still under my line and I'm OK with that.
My commitment to my eating plan remains strong. In fact, food commercials on TV are really starting to annoy me. Jack had football on TV most of the day yesterday and when I sat in the family room with him I felt like I was being inundated with demands to eat every kind of unhealthy food imaginable. Every commercial featured food that was either fried or loaded with simple carbs, even the milk commercials felt misleading. I wanted to shout at the TV to stop with the horrible food commercials, perhaps I actually did shout at the TV. Yelling at the TV didn't do any good, though I did find that the commercials strengthened my resolve to eat good food, rather than weakened it. When I see advertisements for crappy food I automatically think about how those foods contribute to being overweight and all of the ailments associated with poor diet and being fat and I am relieved that I don't eat that kind of food. On the other hand, I worry about how much crap people, in general, eat, and I wish there was something I could do to stop it. I wish there was a health announcement for every crap food commercial, or at least a surgeon general's warning message at the end of the commercial that said that the dish being advertised contains 1200 calories and almost none of the necessary nutrients needed to maintain good health. I get frustrated by how commonplace crap food is and how seldom you see good food in public spaces. I get frustrated that there is so little attention given to the health risks of eating foods that are high in calories and void in nutrients. I feel like there should be a lot more public discussion about the dangers of crappy food and how crap foods contribute to things like heart disease and diabetes. We are hearing more and more about the "obesity epidemic," which I believe is a real problem, but there still is not a huge public conversation about food that isn't really food at all. *Sigh* Perhaps this is something I need to give some more thought to. Perhaps this is a cause I can put some energy behind and help some people in some meaningful way, rather than just rant about it on my blog. Hmmm...I definitely need to think about this...
In the meantime, I am focused on my health and my husband's health and I feel very good about the progress we are making with our food and our exercise. Training to become a triathlete is time consuming and bleeds into just about every aspect of my life, but I kind of like it. It gives everything focus and clarity in a way that I didn't have before. This is an incredibly gradual process with barely distinguishable progress, but I feel good and that's about 90% of what I am looking for from this. I have no idea what kind of shape I'll be in when the tri rolls around next year, except that I know I will be in better shape than I am today. What more can I ask for?
Sunday, September 15, 2013
9/15/2013: Big Brick and Back to "Normal" Weight
My relatively short term goal is to complete the Jackson County Triathlon in 3 hours and 15 minutes in 2014 after completing it in 3 hours and 42 minutes in 2013 (my first attempt at a triathlon). The Jackson County tri consists of a 1500 meter swim, a 24 mile bike ride, and a 5 mile run. If you consistently read this blog you probably recall that I had a panic attack in the water and that impacted my entire race. Open water swimming is very, very different from swimming in a pool. Therefore, the first thing I need to do is start practicing open water swimming this spring, as soon as the local lakes open back up to swimmers. It took me almost 48 minutes to complete the swim portion of the tri. In the pool I can complete the same distance in 36 minutes. Theoretically, I should be able to cut 10 minutes off my swim time just by getting comfortable with and conditioned to open water swimming. Assuming I can cut 10 minutes off my swim, I still need to find 17 minutes somewhere else to get to 3 hours and 15 minutes. Yesterday I drove out to the lake to do my bike/run brick on the Jackson County tri course to get a base line for my training, without the swim. I completed the bike ride in 1 hour and 34 minutes (6 minutes better than my race time), and I completed the run in 1 hour and 1 minute (7.5 minutes better than my race time). My transition took 2 and a half minutes, but that included loading my bike in the car. Of course, both the bike ride and the run would be slower if I had done the swim first, because I would have been tired from the swim.
So that's my starting point. My current combined bike/run brick time, with transition, is 2 hours and 37.5 minutes. Assuming I could actually do both of those events that fast after the swim, that leaves me 37.5 minutes for the swim and the transition from swim to bike. During the 2013 tri those two components of the race took me 51 minutes. That's a lot of improvement that needs to happen.
I think we have to assume that my bike/run brick time will be somewhat faster than what I can do after the 1500 meter swim. So for just the bike/run brick, I need to improve my time by something. Since the bike ride is the longest segment of the race, most of my time improvement will come from that segment (according to Ruth). My biggest challenge on the bike is hill climbing. I am slow climbing hills. None of the hills in the race are huge, but there is a significant amount of uphill riding in the first 2/3rds of the loop. I will work on increasing my speed riding uphill. Yesterday I was experimenting with riding in easier gears and pedaling faster vs. grinding out the climbs in higher gears. I think, theoretically, it may make sense to go uphill in the easier gears and pedal faster, but I'm not sure. I will focus a lot of my bike training on hill climbing. It helped yesterday to watch my speed while going uphill. I can get pretty slow on some of the steeper climbs, as slow as 5.5mph. Yesterday I tried to keep my speed above 7.0mph on all climbs. I was not successful at this, but I think it is a good goal to work towards. Overall, I think my speed needs to average 17mph rather than 14.9mph, which was my average speed during the tri. At 17mph I will complete the bike ride in 88 minutes. Yesterday I completed the bike ride in 94 minutes (without the swim happening first). So I need to get at least 6 minutes faster on the bike ride. I want to be able to do the run in under and hour, which is easy if I don't do the bike ride first, and it's doable if I don't push for speed on the bike ride. Yesterday, I rode as hard as I could and the run was very difficult. I have a lot of work to do!!!! I think a reasonable goal is the following:
Swim: 38 minutes
Transition: 2 minutes
Bike ride: 88 minutes
Transition: 2 minutes
Run: 60 minutes
Total: 3 hours and 10 minutes.
This gives me 5 minutes of leeway and I can still finish within my goal of 3 hours and 15 minutes next year. Go, go, go!!! Train, train, train!!! Push, push, push!!!
Now, let's talk about my weight.
Part of my training regimen is to get to a lean weight of 140 pounds. As of this morning I weighed 155.0 pounds. I have finally lost the 8 pounds I gained the week after the triathlon. Thank goodness!!! That "extra" weight felt like an albatross hanging around my neck. I had to get seriously disciplined about my food to lose that 8 pounds. It did not just magically disappear when I stopped being ridiculous about my calorie consumption.
Now I am into the really hard work of losing this last 15, what I consider more permanent, pounds. I don't have any illusions that this weight will just fall off, but I know I can lose it if I combine disciplined eating habits with the amount of training that I am doing. The biggest challenge will be to lose the weight without losing muscle mass. My goal is to be lean, not skinny. My goal is to improve my strength/weight ratio, not to be a smaller person. I want the same amount of muscle (or more) that I have now to have to carry a 15 pound lighter load. Think about it. A gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds. How much harder is it to bike 24 miles or run 5 miles carrying two gallons of milk with you, than not? I would say that it is a lot harder!!! My calorie goal is to hit somewhere around 1800 calories a day and to eat at least 100 grams of protein a day. The protein is important to maintain and build muscle mass. This is a couple hundred more calories a day than I was eating when I was losing weight last year, but I am also exercising more. I believe the extra 200 calories a day will be important to maintaining my strength as I train. My goal is to lose the weight by the end of 2013, so that by the beginning of 2014 I am training for the triathlon at my "fighting" weight, without trying to lose any more weight.
Yesterday I ate 1,845 calories and 102 grams of protein. I wanted to eat more than that because of my big brick, but I had an upset stomach after the brick and couldn't eat much dinner. If that happens again, I'll make a big smoothie and drink that, to get the calories and protein restored after the brick.
That sums up my thoughts for the day. Each week I want to get a little faster, a little stronger, and a little leaner. It felt good to get benchmark times under my belt yesterday. My plan is to do a big brick once a month, to measure my progress. In between the big bricks I will do smaller bricks, once a week. I haven't been in the pool since the race, so I need to add a swim a couple evenings a week. Part of me is waiting for my swim clinic in October, but I know I need to get back in the pool before then. I also need a new suit that fits me better. The one I have is too big for me and I don't like that.
It's a gorgeous day and the chores got done yesterday. I'm looking forward to a little R&R with my husband on this beautiful Sunday.
So that's my starting point. My current combined bike/run brick time, with transition, is 2 hours and 37.5 minutes. Assuming I could actually do both of those events that fast after the swim, that leaves me 37.5 minutes for the swim and the transition from swim to bike. During the 2013 tri those two components of the race took me 51 minutes. That's a lot of improvement that needs to happen.
I think we have to assume that my bike/run brick time will be somewhat faster than what I can do after the 1500 meter swim. So for just the bike/run brick, I need to improve my time by something. Since the bike ride is the longest segment of the race, most of my time improvement will come from that segment (according to Ruth). My biggest challenge on the bike is hill climbing. I am slow climbing hills. None of the hills in the race are huge, but there is a significant amount of uphill riding in the first 2/3rds of the loop. I will work on increasing my speed riding uphill. Yesterday I was experimenting with riding in easier gears and pedaling faster vs. grinding out the climbs in higher gears. I think, theoretically, it may make sense to go uphill in the easier gears and pedal faster, but I'm not sure. I will focus a lot of my bike training on hill climbing. It helped yesterday to watch my speed while going uphill. I can get pretty slow on some of the steeper climbs, as slow as 5.5mph. Yesterday I tried to keep my speed above 7.0mph on all climbs. I was not successful at this, but I think it is a good goal to work towards. Overall, I think my speed needs to average 17mph rather than 14.9mph, which was my average speed during the tri. At 17mph I will complete the bike ride in 88 minutes. Yesterday I completed the bike ride in 94 minutes (without the swim happening first). So I need to get at least 6 minutes faster on the bike ride. I want to be able to do the run in under and hour, which is easy if I don't do the bike ride first, and it's doable if I don't push for speed on the bike ride. Yesterday, I rode as hard as I could and the run was very difficult. I have a lot of work to do!!!! I think a reasonable goal is the following:
Swim: 38 minutes
Transition: 2 minutes
Bike ride: 88 minutes
Transition: 2 minutes
Run: 60 minutes
Total: 3 hours and 10 minutes.
This gives me 5 minutes of leeway and I can still finish within my goal of 3 hours and 15 minutes next year. Go, go, go!!! Train, train, train!!! Push, push, push!!!
Now, let's talk about my weight.
Part of my training regimen is to get to a lean weight of 140 pounds. As of this morning I weighed 155.0 pounds. I have finally lost the 8 pounds I gained the week after the triathlon. Thank goodness!!! That "extra" weight felt like an albatross hanging around my neck. I had to get seriously disciplined about my food to lose that 8 pounds. It did not just magically disappear when I stopped being ridiculous about my calorie consumption.
Now I am into the really hard work of losing this last 15, what I consider more permanent, pounds. I don't have any illusions that this weight will just fall off, but I know I can lose it if I combine disciplined eating habits with the amount of training that I am doing. The biggest challenge will be to lose the weight without losing muscle mass. My goal is to be lean, not skinny. My goal is to improve my strength/weight ratio, not to be a smaller person. I want the same amount of muscle (or more) that I have now to have to carry a 15 pound lighter load. Think about it. A gallon of milk weighs 8 pounds. How much harder is it to bike 24 miles or run 5 miles carrying two gallons of milk with you, than not? I would say that it is a lot harder!!! My calorie goal is to hit somewhere around 1800 calories a day and to eat at least 100 grams of protein a day. The protein is important to maintain and build muscle mass. This is a couple hundred more calories a day than I was eating when I was losing weight last year, but I am also exercising more. I believe the extra 200 calories a day will be important to maintaining my strength as I train. My goal is to lose the weight by the end of 2013, so that by the beginning of 2014 I am training for the triathlon at my "fighting" weight, without trying to lose any more weight.
Yesterday I ate 1,845 calories and 102 grams of protein. I wanted to eat more than that because of my big brick, but I had an upset stomach after the brick and couldn't eat much dinner. If that happens again, I'll make a big smoothie and drink that, to get the calories and protein restored after the brick.
That sums up my thoughts for the day. Each week I want to get a little faster, a little stronger, and a little leaner. It felt good to get benchmark times under my belt yesterday. My plan is to do a big brick once a month, to measure my progress. In between the big bricks I will do smaller bricks, once a week. I haven't been in the pool since the race, so I need to add a swim a couple evenings a week. Part of me is waiting for my swim clinic in October, but I know I need to get back in the pool before then. I also need a new suit that fits me better. The one I have is too big for me and I don't like that.
It's a gorgeous day and the chores got done yesterday. I'm looking forward to a little R&R with my husband on this beautiful Sunday.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
9/14/13: A New Dawn
Ah, Saturday morning. No alarm clock, no place I have to be, a gorgeous day, gloriously in love, and nothing to do but CHORES. :) Seriously, we need to get some household chores done today. When life got really, really hard for me, my chores started to slip. Jack picked up the slack, for the most part (a few things may have been back-burnered), but now as I feel life stabilizing again it is time to get back into the routine of taking care of business around the house. It will feel good to get the house in order this morning and start this weekend with that sense of accomplishment.
Last night's anniversary celebration did not get crazy, and that is probably the understatement of the year! I went into it knowing that I was not going to overeat or drink any alcohol. Unfortunately, Jack was feeling sick yesterday with a headache and upset stomach, therefore he was not at the top of his game. The combination of my discipline and his feeling somewhat subdued due to being under the weather, led to a very quiet evening. We went to dinner at Louie's Wine Dive and didn't have any wine!! I had a bowl of shrimp bisque (I believe it was an 8 ounce serving - at least that is how I counted it) and a grilled salmon salad. Jackie had crab cakes. The shrimp bisque was good and I really liked the salad. This is the second time I had this particular salad and it is perfect for me. They put grilled asparagus on it and use a very light balsamic vinaigrette. After dinner we went over to the Roxy and played darts (we were terrible - it has been way too long since we played) and pool while we waited for the band to start. The band was called The Stolen Winnebagos and they were worse than our dart playing! We stayed for a few songs, but by then it was 10:30 and this early bird was getting tired. If the band had been any good, we may have stayed a little longer and danced a little in spite of Jack not feeling great, but we decided to just come on home and go to bed. There you have it! A woman in training makes for a boring night life. What can I say? It is what it is. We had fun talking about what life was like for both of us, 10 years ago, when we first met. A lot has happened in ten years and we are both better off for it.
Yesterday I ate 1,618 calories and 112 grams of protein. This weekend I will do a brick one day and strength training and a bike ride on the other day. I am not sure which will happen on which day, yet. As I said earlier, we have chores to do today, so that will make a difference. It is not going to get too hot today, though, so I think there is a good chance I will get the brick in this afternoon. I weighed a little more today, 157.4 pounds, but I am confident that is just because I ate later in the evening yesterday than I normally do, and there was probably more salt in my dinner than I normally eat. I am not worried about that. I have to mark my chart tomorrow morning and I am confident that I will be below my line.
I continue to feel strong and confident about my plan. I have not been tempted by any dead foods (some sort of buttered and grilled bread came with my soup yesterday and I was not the least bit interested in eating it), but more importantly than that I have found it much easier to stop myself from eating unplanned portions of healthy foods. A good example is prunes. I eat a serving of prunes a day. I do consider them a healthy, sweet treat, and they seem to help with certain bodily functions. But they are 100 calories a serving so I only want to eat one serving a day. I usually eat them with breakfast. Yesterday, I ate my prunes before my workout because my trainer likes me to eat something before I strength train and we were out of bananas. I eat breakfast after my workout and shower, and after breakfast, I kind of wanted that little sweetness that I get from my prunes and found myself reaching for them without really thinking about it. Then I went, "Wait, you already had your prunes. One serving is plenty." Yet, I yearned for them and tried to talk myself into it being OK to have a few more. Then I said to myself, "What about not eating more prunes is going to hurt? Really? In what way are you going to be in pain or cause any discomfort in your life if you don't eat those prunes?" The answer, of course, was, "None." I walked right past those silly prunes and didn't even look back. The yearning actually stopped. No cycling through, over and over again, of the tape trying to justify eating something I didn't need. That hard and fast realization that not eating an extra serving of prunes was not going to hurt in any way made the decision to not eat them a no-brainer. Perhaps that seems funny to you, but it worked.
I guess what I am saying is that I am calling bull-crap on the statement I have said many, many times in my life and I have heard others say countless times, which is, "It is hard to eat right." Really? It's hard? What's hard about it? What hurts when you eat food that is good for you? What hurts when you don't eat that candy bar or that bowl of ice cream? You do have to buy different things at the grocery store, but what is hard about that? You are at the grocery store already, anyway. You can buy healthy, prepared foods if you can't or hate to cook. Even if you hate to cook, a couple of hours spent on Sunday afternoon will prep a week's worth of healthy foods for your fridge. Yes you have to plan a little and think a little about what you are going to eat, but does that hurt? I don't think so. You know what's hard? It's hard to be overweight. It's hard on your lungs and your heart. It's hard on your joints and your brain. It's hard on your liver and your kidneys. The more I read about how damaging abdominal fat is to the organs it surrounds the more I am committed to not have any excess abdominal fat. It is going to be hard to be old and out of shape. Walking with a cane or a walker, or worse not walking at all will be hard. Alzheimer's will be hard. Type 2 diabetes will be hard. Eating grilled chicken and asparagus instead of fried chicken and french fries? Not hard at all. Think about it. Next time you reach for that sweet treat, fried food, or beer; ask yourself, "What is going to hurt if I don't eat that?" I already know the answer and so do you.
Jack's up, so I need to run. Time for breakfast. Have an awesome day!!!!!
Last night's anniversary celebration did not get crazy, and that is probably the understatement of the year! I went into it knowing that I was not going to overeat or drink any alcohol. Unfortunately, Jack was feeling sick yesterday with a headache and upset stomach, therefore he was not at the top of his game. The combination of my discipline and his feeling somewhat subdued due to being under the weather, led to a very quiet evening. We went to dinner at Louie's Wine Dive and didn't have any wine!! I had a bowl of shrimp bisque (I believe it was an 8 ounce serving - at least that is how I counted it) and a grilled salmon salad. Jackie had crab cakes. The shrimp bisque was good and I really liked the salad. This is the second time I had this particular salad and it is perfect for me. They put grilled asparagus on it and use a very light balsamic vinaigrette. After dinner we went over to the Roxy and played darts (we were terrible - it has been way too long since we played) and pool while we waited for the band to start. The band was called The Stolen Winnebagos and they were worse than our dart playing! We stayed for a few songs, but by then it was 10:30 and this early bird was getting tired. If the band had been any good, we may have stayed a little longer and danced a little in spite of Jack not feeling great, but we decided to just come on home and go to bed. There you have it! A woman in training makes for a boring night life. What can I say? It is what it is. We had fun talking about what life was like for both of us, 10 years ago, when we first met. A lot has happened in ten years and we are both better off for it.
Yesterday I ate 1,618 calories and 112 grams of protein. This weekend I will do a brick one day and strength training and a bike ride on the other day. I am not sure which will happen on which day, yet. As I said earlier, we have chores to do today, so that will make a difference. It is not going to get too hot today, though, so I think there is a good chance I will get the brick in this afternoon. I weighed a little more today, 157.4 pounds, but I am confident that is just because I ate later in the evening yesterday than I normally do, and there was probably more salt in my dinner than I normally eat. I am not worried about that. I have to mark my chart tomorrow morning and I am confident that I will be below my line.
I continue to feel strong and confident about my plan. I have not been tempted by any dead foods (some sort of buttered and grilled bread came with my soup yesterday and I was not the least bit interested in eating it), but more importantly than that I have found it much easier to stop myself from eating unplanned portions of healthy foods. A good example is prunes. I eat a serving of prunes a day. I do consider them a healthy, sweet treat, and they seem to help with certain bodily functions. But they are 100 calories a serving so I only want to eat one serving a day. I usually eat them with breakfast. Yesterday, I ate my prunes before my workout because my trainer likes me to eat something before I strength train and we were out of bananas. I eat breakfast after my workout and shower, and after breakfast, I kind of wanted that little sweetness that I get from my prunes and found myself reaching for them without really thinking about it. Then I went, "Wait, you already had your prunes. One serving is plenty." Yet, I yearned for them and tried to talk myself into it being OK to have a few more. Then I said to myself, "What about not eating more prunes is going to hurt? Really? In what way are you going to be in pain or cause any discomfort in your life if you don't eat those prunes?" The answer, of course, was, "None." I walked right past those silly prunes and didn't even look back. The yearning actually stopped. No cycling through, over and over again, of the tape trying to justify eating something I didn't need. That hard and fast realization that not eating an extra serving of prunes was not going to hurt in any way made the decision to not eat them a no-brainer. Perhaps that seems funny to you, but it worked.
I guess what I am saying is that I am calling bull-crap on the statement I have said many, many times in my life and I have heard others say countless times, which is, "It is hard to eat right." Really? It's hard? What's hard about it? What hurts when you eat food that is good for you? What hurts when you don't eat that candy bar or that bowl of ice cream? You do have to buy different things at the grocery store, but what is hard about that? You are at the grocery store already, anyway. You can buy healthy, prepared foods if you can't or hate to cook. Even if you hate to cook, a couple of hours spent on Sunday afternoon will prep a week's worth of healthy foods for your fridge. Yes you have to plan a little and think a little about what you are going to eat, but does that hurt? I don't think so. You know what's hard? It's hard to be overweight. It's hard on your lungs and your heart. It's hard on your joints and your brain. It's hard on your liver and your kidneys. The more I read about how damaging abdominal fat is to the organs it surrounds the more I am committed to not have any excess abdominal fat. It is going to be hard to be old and out of shape. Walking with a cane or a walker, or worse not walking at all will be hard. Alzheimer's will be hard. Type 2 diabetes will be hard. Eating grilled chicken and asparagus instead of fried chicken and french fries? Not hard at all. Think about it. Next time you reach for that sweet treat, fried food, or beer; ask yourself, "What is going to hurt if I don't eat that?" I already know the answer and so do you.
Jack's up, so I need to run. Time for breakfast. Have an awesome day!!!!!
Friday, September 13, 2013
9/13/13: Training Update
On yesterday's blog post I got so caught up in talking about the mental battles I've been fighting that I forgot to mention my training for the day. Yesterday I ran my four mile route in 40 minutes and 15 seconds. My goal was 40 minutes, so I felt pretty good about my time, I just need to shave off 15 seconds to reach my first goal. I did have to wait a few seconds at a couple of stop lights, but neither intersection caused me to pause for more than a few seconds.
Next week I want to get the 4 miles in 40 minutes or less. My longer term goal will be to complete my hilly 6 miles in 60 minutes.
Today I went to the gym for strength training. We worked hard on lower body for a solid 60 minutes. The exercises included barbell squats, kettle bell swings, Sumo squats, sprints on the treadmill, hamstring curls, one leg dead-lifts, and a couple of core exercises. Hard work!!
Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of Jack's and my first kiss!! It has been a crazy and wonderful 10 years. It took half of that time to actually go on a second date, but during that first five years I could never shake the feeling that Jack and I belonged together. In February, we will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. Yesterday I received beautiful flowers at work and tonight we are going out to dinner. After dinner we may head over to The Roxy for a little bit, which is the scene of the original crime (that first kiss!). Whatever we do and wherever we go, I already told Jack that I am sticking to my food plan tonight. I am too soon into my clean living regimen to risk introducing anything but good food. Eventually I will allow myself small periods of time (4 hours, or thereabouts) for special celebrations, but not yet. It took me too long to get my head in the game as it is! I am not going to risk it now.
I continue to feel GREAT!! I am so relieved to have found my commitment and resolve again. It makes life so much easier and I am so much more comfortable with myself to know that I am not going to eat and drink things that are not good for me. It's a simple formula, when you get right down to it. There's a lot less to think about if I am not torturing myself with food decisions throughout the day. It's nice to have the decision made and free my mind up for more important tasks.
Yesterday I ate 1,744 calories and 87 grams of protein. This morning I weighed 157.0 pounds (progress...finally!). As I mentioned above, this morning I did strength training. Perhaps tonight, we will get in a little dancing. That would be fun. How about it, Jackie?
Next week I want to get the 4 miles in 40 minutes or less. My longer term goal will be to complete my hilly 6 miles in 60 minutes.
Today I went to the gym for strength training. We worked hard on lower body for a solid 60 minutes. The exercises included barbell squats, kettle bell swings, Sumo squats, sprints on the treadmill, hamstring curls, one leg dead-lifts, and a couple of core exercises. Hard work!!
Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of Jack's and my first kiss!! It has been a crazy and wonderful 10 years. It took half of that time to actually go on a second date, but during that first five years I could never shake the feeling that Jack and I belonged together. In February, we will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary. Yesterday I received beautiful flowers at work and tonight we are going out to dinner. After dinner we may head over to The Roxy for a little bit, which is the scene of the original crime (that first kiss!). Whatever we do and wherever we go, I already told Jack that I am sticking to my food plan tonight. I am too soon into my clean living regimen to risk introducing anything but good food. Eventually I will allow myself small periods of time (4 hours, or thereabouts) for special celebrations, but not yet. It took me too long to get my head in the game as it is! I am not going to risk it now.
I continue to feel GREAT!! I am so relieved to have found my commitment and resolve again. It makes life so much easier and I am so much more comfortable with myself to know that I am not going to eat and drink things that are not good for me. It's a simple formula, when you get right down to it. There's a lot less to think about if I am not torturing myself with food decisions throughout the day. It's nice to have the decision made and free my mind up for more important tasks.
Yesterday I ate 1,744 calories and 87 grams of protein. This morning I weighed 157.0 pounds (progress...finally!). As I mentioned above, this morning I did strength training. Perhaps tonight, we will get in a little dancing. That would be fun. How about it, Jackie?
Thursday, September 12, 2013
9/12/13: Never Again!!!
For two days, now, I have had my eating completely under control. By "under control" I mean that I am not eating any unplanned snacks, I am not eating any junk food or sweets, and I am eating only planned meals and snacks that consist of healthy, whole foods. More than anything, this willingness to eat only what is good for me and to avoid dead foods is a mind set. It is all about definitively deciding that this is what I am going to do and then just doing it. It really isn't hard. It's not like it hurts or takes up a lot of time to not eat crap, but there's this crazy mental game that goes on inside my head that somehow justifies eating and drinking garbage that is not good for me. The trick is to turn off that mental signal.
It has taken me every bit of three weeks to get myself back on the mental band wagon after my week of carelessness. I wish I could recall exactly why, for that week after the triathlon, I decided to allow myself to be so careless. Somehow I justified eating and drinking crap, as if I deserved it as some sort of reward for achieving my goal of completing the triathlon. I acted like it was a treat or something. But I find that strange, when I really think about it. Why would I think of consuming things that are bad for me, essentially poisons, as a treat? Why would I treat my body, that worked so hard to complete that triathlon, so poorly? There is no good reason for it. None, that I can think of. I am kind of dumbfounded by it, now as I review the mental decision to allow myself to go to hell for a week. It just doesn't make any sense.
Almost three weeks ago I decided to stop eating crap (including alcohol) and to start working on getting into excellent physical condition so that I can complete the 2014 Jackson County triathlon in 3 hours and 15 minutes. Getting into excellent physical condition included making the decision to get to 140 pounds by year-end, without losing any muscle mass, so that I could improve my strength-to-weight ratio. I want to get faster and being lighter and stronger will get me faster. My ultimate, life-time goal is to win my age group. That is going to mean a lot of intense training for a long time. That is going to mean carrying no extra weight. Every pound must have a purpose, or there is no way I can win my age group, at least not until I am the last one standing!!
When I drew my chart, almost 3 weeks ago, I weighed 163 pounds. This was after gaining 8 pounds in one week of careless eating and drinking. Today I weighed 157.8 pounds. Progress, but not as much as I would like to see. I know I could have taken that 8 pounds off faster than this. After all, that was mostly water. But I have been struggling with food; more specifically, I have been struggling with sweets - mostly in the form of ice cream and candy. I am not eating wheat, so that has kept me away from cookies, cake, and other baked goods. Since I started my new chart I have increased my exercise. In fact, I feel myself thinking of what I am doing much more as "training" than "exercise," and that change in mind set helps me work much harder. I have a specific goal I want to achieve, and if I don't run a little further and a little faster each week, I am not going to reach my goal. It's not about plodding out 4 or 5 miles so I can chalk up the "calories out," it is about training to become a competitive athlete. The latter is a lot more fun.
But the food, man the food!! It's been hard. I have had sugar cravings to beat the band, I have let myself succumb to them, and I have beat myself up afterwards. Why?? I wish I knew. Finally, the day before yesterday, something clicked. I kept reviewing my food choices and I kept thinking about the fact that I was really just poisoning myself with this crap and I kept asking myself, "Why?" And, quite frankly, there was never a good answer. Everything I came up with was stupid. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I don't have time to cook. Yadda yadda yadda. It was just a litany of excuses for being lazy and irresponsible. When it comes down to it, of course I have time to take care of myself, I just have to make it a priority. There is a bonus. When I take care of myself, I am helping Jack take care of himself, too. When there is healthy food in the house to eat, we both eat better, we both feel better, and we both look better. That makes me happy, much happier than I am after eating a silly bowl of ice cream.
So, two days ago, on Tuesday morning, I said, "This is it. Stop being stupid about this and go back to what you know works." One of the motivators was my chart. I could see that by the end of this week I was going to be above my goal line if I didn't start getting serious about losing weight. That was unacceptable. And that was that. I've been fine. I've been more than fine. As I said at the beginning of this blog post, I have not done any unintentional eating for two days and, more importantly, I don't want to. I am so relieved and so happy that I have turned this mental corner.
Never again will I allow myself a multiple-day period of excessive eating and drinking. I believe I conditioned my body to eating crap again and all my body wanted after that week was a quick fix. Give me that sugar!! Give me sugar!!! GIVE ME SUGAR!!!! It was like my body (or perhaps it was just my brain) was screaming for it. It was so hard to say no. That week was a mistake that will not happen again. Maybe I needed that reminder of how easy it is to start poisoning myself again. Maybe I needed to go through this rather crappy few weeks in order to firmly convince myself that this is a lifestyle, with an emphasis on the word LIFE! I don't know why I did what I did, but I promise myself this, I will not do it again. I know what works for me, and that is clean living, day-in and day-out. There will be exceptions to this rule. There will be a celebration here and there. There will be moments of extreme stress or moments where I am nowhere near good food when it is time to eat and I won't eat perfectly. But I will not let those moments stretch into a whole day, or worse yet, multiple days. I'll allow a four hour (or so) window here and there for celebrations. I'll accept the fact that I might not always be able to make excellent food choices for every meal, but I will not allow myself back down the slippery path that I headed down 4 weeks ago. I like eating well. I like the way I feel, mentally and physically, when I make good food choices. I like being on solid footing. This is the way to live!!
It has taken me every bit of three weeks to get myself back on the mental band wagon after my week of carelessness. I wish I could recall exactly why, for that week after the triathlon, I decided to allow myself to be so careless. Somehow I justified eating and drinking crap, as if I deserved it as some sort of reward for achieving my goal of completing the triathlon. I acted like it was a treat or something. But I find that strange, when I really think about it. Why would I think of consuming things that are bad for me, essentially poisons, as a treat? Why would I treat my body, that worked so hard to complete that triathlon, so poorly? There is no good reason for it. None, that I can think of. I am kind of dumbfounded by it, now as I review the mental decision to allow myself to go to hell for a week. It just doesn't make any sense.
Almost three weeks ago I decided to stop eating crap (including alcohol) and to start working on getting into excellent physical condition so that I can complete the 2014 Jackson County triathlon in 3 hours and 15 minutes. Getting into excellent physical condition included making the decision to get to 140 pounds by year-end, without losing any muscle mass, so that I could improve my strength-to-weight ratio. I want to get faster and being lighter and stronger will get me faster. My ultimate, life-time goal is to win my age group. That is going to mean a lot of intense training for a long time. That is going to mean carrying no extra weight. Every pound must have a purpose, or there is no way I can win my age group, at least not until I am the last one standing!!
When I drew my chart, almost 3 weeks ago, I weighed 163 pounds. This was after gaining 8 pounds in one week of careless eating and drinking. Today I weighed 157.8 pounds. Progress, but not as much as I would like to see. I know I could have taken that 8 pounds off faster than this. After all, that was mostly water. But I have been struggling with food; more specifically, I have been struggling with sweets - mostly in the form of ice cream and candy. I am not eating wheat, so that has kept me away from cookies, cake, and other baked goods. Since I started my new chart I have increased my exercise. In fact, I feel myself thinking of what I am doing much more as "training" than "exercise," and that change in mind set helps me work much harder. I have a specific goal I want to achieve, and if I don't run a little further and a little faster each week, I am not going to reach my goal. It's not about plodding out 4 or 5 miles so I can chalk up the "calories out," it is about training to become a competitive athlete. The latter is a lot more fun.
But the food, man the food!! It's been hard. I have had sugar cravings to beat the band, I have let myself succumb to them, and I have beat myself up afterwards. Why?? I wish I knew. Finally, the day before yesterday, something clicked. I kept reviewing my food choices and I kept thinking about the fact that I was really just poisoning myself with this crap and I kept asking myself, "Why?" And, quite frankly, there was never a good answer. Everything I came up with was stupid. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I don't have time to cook. Yadda yadda yadda. It was just a litany of excuses for being lazy and irresponsible. When it comes down to it, of course I have time to take care of myself, I just have to make it a priority. There is a bonus. When I take care of myself, I am helping Jack take care of himself, too. When there is healthy food in the house to eat, we both eat better, we both feel better, and we both look better. That makes me happy, much happier than I am after eating a silly bowl of ice cream.
So, two days ago, on Tuesday morning, I said, "This is it. Stop being stupid about this and go back to what you know works." One of the motivators was my chart. I could see that by the end of this week I was going to be above my goal line if I didn't start getting serious about losing weight. That was unacceptable. And that was that. I've been fine. I've been more than fine. As I said at the beginning of this blog post, I have not done any unintentional eating for two days and, more importantly, I don't want to. I am so relieved and so happy that I have turned this mental corner.
Never again will I allow myself a multiple-day period of excessive eating and drinking. I believe I conditioned my body to eating crap again and all my body wanted after that week was a quick fix. Give me that sugar!! Give me sugar!!! GIVE ME SUGAR!!!! It was like my body (or perhaps it was just my brain) was screaming for it. It was so hard to say no. That week was a mistake that will not happen again. Maybe I needed that reminder of how easy it is to start poisoning myself again. Maybe I needed to go through this rather crappy few weeks in order to firmly convince myself that this is a lifestyle, with an emphasis on the word LIFE! I don't know why I did what I did, but I promise myself this, I will not do it again. I know what works for me, and that is clean living, day-in and day-out. There will be exceptions to this rule. There will be a celebration here and there. There will be moments of extreme stress or moments where I am nowhere near good food when it is time to eat and I won't eat perfectly. But I will not let those moments stretch into a whole day, or worse yet, multiple days. I'll allow a four hour (or so) window here and there for celebrations. I'll accept the fact that I might not always be able to make excellent food choices for every meal, but I will not allow myself back down the slippery path that I headed down 4 weeks ago. I like eating well. I like the way I feel, mentally and physically, when I make good food choices. I like being on solid footing. This is the way to live!!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
9/11/13: Feeling a Little More Grounded
Today is a better day, emotionally.
Perhaps the walk yesterday evening helped. Or perhaps the fact that we had prepped dinner on Monday night and I was able to just come home, spend 15 minutes cooking, and we had a nice, hot, delicious home cooked meal for dinner last night made me feel better. Maybe I feel less stressed because I was able to express my concerns at work and the rest of the management team seemed to take me seriously. I don't know what has changed, exactly, but I do feel better today.
Yesterday I did a much better job with food. I ate a total of 1,875 calories and 95 grams of protein. I didn't do any unplanned snacking, at all, so that was very good. I was a little more conscientious about water, but I probably still did not drink enough of it. I need to start keeping track of my water at work. It's not that I don't like water, it's just that I forget to drink it. I marked my chart today and I am right on my line at 158.4 pounds!!! I will not allow my weight to go over my goal line, so the motivation of the chart is kicking in. Perhaps I should not have allowed myself so much time (on my chart) to lose the weight that I gained the week after my triathlon. I certainly took advantage of the four weeks I gave myself to lose the weight that I gained in one week of not moderating my food or drink. But now that my actual weight line is hitting my goal line (I have been under it for 3 weeks) my motivation to get serious about losing weight is kicking in. My meds are still making me retain water and I find that very frustrating. There is not much I can do about the water retention, though, other than eat right, drink plenty of water, exercise a lot, and get plenty of sleep. I am doing all of those things.
Yesterday I lifted weights in the morning and went for about a 2.5 mile walk with Jack in the evening. It was a beautiful, warm, summer-like, fall evening. I love this warm weather!!! I decided to take today as a rest day. We were up a little late watching the Royals beat the Indians and the final 12 on America's Got Talent. AGT is the one TV show I really like. I love watching all of the different acts. Some of the performers are incredibly talented and inspirational. My last rest day was last Wednesday and I have exercised hard all week, so when my alarm went off this morning and my body said, "Ugh, I'm really tired!" I knew it was a good day to take a rest. The scheduled exercise for today was a 4 mile run, and I was going to take a rest day tomorrow, so I am just swapping the two. I am resting today and I will run tomorrow. I feel good about that.
I am starting to feel the results of the stepped up training regimen. It's a subtle change, but my body feels more in tune with itself, I guess. I can't really put a finger on what feels different, but physically, I am feeling strong. I'll be glad when I am done with the antibiotic that I am taking so that I can get completely back to normal. It's interesting to notice how taking one drug can alter so much. Since I typically don't take any drugs at all and my diet is so consistent, it's relatively easy to notice the impact of the one drug I am taking. It definitely causes me to retain water, which I can feel mostly in my hands and face. I have one week left in the original prescription with a 2 week refill. I think I am going to go ahead and do the 2 week refill. I don't have the test results back yet, but I am pretty convinced at this point that I was exposed to Lyme disease and the recommended antibiotic therapy is 4 weeks. Lyme disease is not something to mess with. If properly treated early, it causes no long term damage, but not treated (and I am assuming, improperly treated) it can cause a life-time of various problems. I don't want to take any chances. So as much as I hate the bloated feeling in my fingers, the possible consequences of not continuing the antibiotic for the full four weeks is just to great ignore. I'll put up with the swollen hands for a few more weeks.
Julie has taken on my 30 day chicken challenge and is preparing chicken a different way, each week day, for 4 weeks. I appreciate her willingness to take this on. I needed some new ways to prepare this lean source of protein. I am going to start trying some of her recipes. I am also going to send her some of mine. If you have a tasty, healthy, and perhaps, easy to prepare, chicken recipe, please share it!!!!! If you want to see what Julie comes up with over the next 4 weeks, her blog is here: http://theweightofmyweight.com. She and I have been supporting each other on our weight loss journeys. She is just about 5 or 6 pounds to goal, which she is trying to reach by the end of this month, and no later than her birthday in November. She will get there!! I am confident of that. Just as I will reach 140 by the end of the year.
Gotta run...work calls...*Sigh* Sometimes, it just seems sad that work is part of daily life, doesn't it? Other times, I don't mind at all.
Perhaps the walk yesterday evening helped. Or perhaps the fact that we had prepped dinner on Monday night and I was able to just come home, spend 15 minutes cooking, and we had a nice, hot, delicious home cooked meal for dinner last night made me feel better. Maybe I feel less stressed because I was able to express my concerns at work and the rest of the management team seemed to take me seriously. I don't know what has changed, exactly, but I do feel better today.
Yesterday I did a much better job with food. I ate a total of 1,875 calories and 95 grams of protein. I didn't do any unplanned snacking, at all, so that was very good. I was a little more conscientious about water, but I probably still did not drink enough of it. I need to start keeping track of my water at work. It's not that I don't like water, it's just that I forget to drink it. I marked my chart today and I am right on my line at 158.4 pounds!!! I will not allow my weight to go over my goal line, so the motivation of the chart is kicking in. Perhaps I should not have allowed myself so much time (on my chart) to lose the weight that I gained the week after my triathlon. I certainly took advantage of the four weeks I gave myself to lose the weight that I gained in one week of not moderating my food or drink. But now that my actual weight line is hitting my goal line (I have been under it for 3 weeks) my motivation to get serious about losing weight is kicking in. My meds are still making me retain water and I find that very frustrating. There is not much I can do about the water retention, though, other than eat right, drink plenty of water, exercise a lot, and get plenty of sleep. I am doing all of those things.
Yesterday I lifted weights in the morning and went for about a 2.5 mile walk with Jack in the evening. It was a beautiful, warm, summer-like, fall evening. I love this warm weather!!! I decided to take today as a rest day. We were up a little late watching the Royals beat the Indians and the final 12 on America's Got Talent. AGT is the one TV show I really like. I love watching all of the different acts. Some of the performers are incredibly talented and inspirational. My last rest day was last Wednesday and I have exercised hard all week, so when my alarm went off this morning and my body said, "Ugh, I'm really tired!" I knew it was a good day to take a rest. The scheduled exercise for today was a 4 mile run, and I was going to take a rest day tomorrow, so I am just swapping the two. I am resting today and I will run tomorrow. I feel good about that.
I am starting to feel the results of the stepped up training regimen. It's a subtle change, but my body feels more in tune with itself, I guess. I can't really put a finger on what feels different, but physically, I am feeling strong. I'll be glad when I am done with the antibiotic that I am taking so that I can get completely back to normal. It's interesting to notice how taking one drug can alter so much. Since I typically don't take any drugs at all and my diet is so consistent, it's relatively easy to notice the impact of the one drug I am taking. It definitely causes me to retain water, which I can feel mostly in my hands and face. I have one week left in the original prescription with a 2 week refill. I think I am going to go ahead and do the 2 week refill. I don't have the test results back yet, but I am pretty convinced at this point that I was exposed to Lyme disease and the recommended antibiotic therapy is 4 weeks. Lyme disease is not something to mess with. If properly treated early, it causes no long term damage, but not treated (and I am assuming, improperly treated) it can cause a life-time of various problems. I don't want to take any chances. So as much as I hate the bloated feeling in my fingers, the possible consequences of not continuing the antibiotic for the full four weeks is just to great ignore. I'll put up with the swollen hands for a few more weeks.
Julie has taken on my 30 day chicken challenge and is preparing chicken a different way, each week day, for 4 weeks. I appreciate her willingness to take this on. I needed some new ways to prepare this lean source of protein. I am going to start trying some of her recipes. I am also going to send her some of mine. If you have a tasty, healthy, and perhaps, easy to prepare, chicken recipe, please share it!!!!! If you want to see what Julie comes up with over the next 4 weeks, her blog is here: http://theweightofmyweight.com. She and I have been supporting each other on our weight loss journeys. She is just about 5 or 6 pounds to goal, which she is trying to reach by the end of this month, and no later than her birthday in November. She will get there!! I am confident of that. Just as I will reach 140 by the end of the year.
Gotta run...work calls...*Sigh* Sometimes, it just seems sad that work is part of daily life, doesn't it? Other times, I don't mind at all.
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