12/14/2012: Cookies!

Morning Weight:  157.4
This Morning's Exercise: Strength Training with personal trainer
Yesterday Evening's Activity:  4 hours of baking cookies for company Christmas party. (Hey, I think that counts - I was on my feet for four hours.  Better than sitting on the couch - except for the fact that I ate some of the cookies (see yesterday's calories))
Yesterday's Calories: 1481 plus cookies (I was doing fine until that first batch of chocolate chip cookies came out of the oven.  After "test-tasting" the first one, I ate about 5 more.  They are quite small, only about 1 - 1.5 teaspoons of dough for each cookie. But they are soooo yummy.  Good old fashioned Toll House cookies. I calcuated calories for them once.  They are between 45 - 50 calories each.  So that would be between 270 - 300 calories for cookies...oh, and I ate one gingerbread girl; also quite small.  She was probably another 30 calories.  Oh...and a little cookie dough.  OK.  Not such a good night.  I didn't gain weight though, so that's good.  Imagine what a good day it would have been if I hadn't cookie binged last night!)
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

I don't bake very often anymore and you can see why.  It's hard to bake and not eat what you're baking.  Especially when you bake the things that you think taste really, really good.  I guess I should start baking fruit cake!!  Or maybe oatmeal cookies.  I like oatmeal cookies, but they are not addictive like the chocolate chip cookies or those teeny, tiny, crispy and tangy gingerbread cookies.  Ah well.  I indulged in the season a little bit last night.  I am only going to bake cookies one more time, and that will be for the McKown Christmas Eve family gathering.  I am pretty sure Jack's brother-in-law, Don, would send me home if I showed up without my annual tins of cookies.  It wouldn't surprise me if he was looking forward to them already.  I enjoy baking them and bringing them to the party, but between last night and Christmas Eve, that will be the extent of my baking this year.  The only other special food event for us for this holiday is Christmas morning breakfast.  On our first Christmas morning together I made biscuits and gravy and that immediately became a tradition.  I don't talk about this much on my blog, but I don't eat pork or beef, so making biscuits with sausage gravy is a big deal around here.  Jack looks forward to two beef/pork meals each year; he gets Swiss steak on his birthday (his mom's recipe from when he was a kid) and biscuits and gravy on Christmas.  Both of those meals are very special to him since 80% of the dinners I prepare are vegan and the rest are chicken.  The other traditional food (actually, drink) on Christmas morning is homemade hot chocolate.  We use the recipe right off the back of the Hershey's cocoa container.  When was the last time you made that?  Yeah, it's good!!!  If you're going to indulge in hot cocoa, it might as well be the real deal!!!

Discipline will be important through the end of the year, so that I can lose another pound or two by year end, despite the couple of occasions that I will likely go over my daily caloric allotment.  I have to keep it real, here!!

Jeremy and I talked about my plan to convert to Phase 2 of the plan on January 1st, regardless of whether or not I have reached my goal weight of 150.0 as of year end.  He liked that plan.  Even he said, "Perhaps you have to accept the fact that 158 pounds is your weight."  So, I am still in line with the plan to continue to try to lose a couple more pounds by year end, and then I will switch from my weight loss program to my fitness/strength program on January 1.   I've come a long way baby and I like the way I look!  This plan feels right to me.

Since we have the Christmas theme going with the conversation about the cookies, this seems like a good time to post pictures of our tree.  This year, Jack and I decided to do just a little bit of decorating, so rather than doing up the whole house and dragging out all of our ornaments, we decided to just put up one tree and only hang our "pretty" ornaments.  Below is the result.  I didn't even realize that I didn't bother to put a skirt around the tree until after I saw this picture.  :-)



Christmas Tree 2012



And here are a few snap shots of some of my favorite and new ornaments:

 We saw the moose at Hall's and had to have him.  He reminds us both so much of our vacation this past fall!!  Great memories.

 Jack's a penguin fan, so we had to get this little guy!

 I've had the Pooh ornaments for a while.  You can't really see Piglet in this photo, but he is back there behind Eyeore.  I thought it was fun to make a little Pooh Corner on the tree.  If/when Jack and I decide to start giving away ornaments, I know who is getting these, right Sharlynne?

And Carla Marie will get this Sunflower.  I bought this ornament last year because it reminds me of her.

Too cute, right?  This is another new one that we bought this year.  He looks great hanging on the tree!



12/13/12: Nothing New

Morning Weight:  157.4
This Morning's Exercise: None, Day Off!!
Yesterday Evening's Activity:  Bowling.
Yesterday's Calories: 1675
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

After yesterday's long blog post I don't have anything new to say today, other than that I am continuing to adjust to the idea of letting my focus on weight loss go at year end, whether I have made it to 150 by then or not.  I'll maintain my chart until January 28th, regardless of what happens.  Someday that chart is going to help someone besides me, I'm pretty sure of that, and I want it to be complete.

Just 12 more days and Christmas will come and go, yet again.  One more Christmas season behind us and a brand new year stretched out before us.  I enjoy reflecting on the year past and planning for the year to come on New Year's day.  It'll be here before we know it.

I've lost a little weight the last couple of days.  I know why, too.  It's because I cooked on Sunday and I have been eating my own food.  That certainly is a reminder of how important it is to prepare my own meals.  That needs to be part of my weekly routine and healthy habits.  No matter how good my choices are when I eat at a restaurant, nothing compares to the healthiness of my own cooking.  I will cook again this Sunday for next week.

12/12/12: Dressed Up for a Party & Thoughts for 2013

Morning Weight:  157.6
This Morning's Exercise: 40 minutes Wii Fit Biggest Loser workout. I just did not want to get out of bed this morning and I most certainly wasn't feeling like going to the gym, but a little something is better than nothing so the Biggest Loser disc got popped into the Wii.  It is a light workout, but there are a lot of stretches and different motions that I don't get in my other workouts, so I think it is probably a good thing for me to do once in a while.  So, even though it wasn't a heart pounding routine, it got me moving this morning and helped me do some really nice stretches and yoga poses.
Yesterday Evening's Exercise:  Strength Training with Jeremy Wallen - quite a workout last night.  That's probably why I didn't feel like doing much this morning.
Yesterday's Calories: 1472
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

The Christmas party I mentioned over the weekend is this afternoon, so I am wearing the outfit that I bought over the weekend.  Since I didn't take a picture on Sunday, I thought this would be a good opportunity to post my weekly photo.

12/12/2012:  157.6 pounds, 66.4 pounds lost

I weighed a little less this morning and I attribute that to the fact that I am eating only my own cooking this week.  I cooked tofu spinach burgers and a tofu-kale-peanut stew on Sunday and that is what I am taking to work for lunch and eating for dinner.  Both are delicious and jammed full of veggies and other good stuff.  I am also eating my calories earlier in the day and eating most of my carbs in the morning.  Other than that, everything is about the same.  Exercising a lot, drinking plenty of water, trying to eat as close to 1500 calories a day as possible.

I have given a lot of thought to my original goals and what is truly important to me.  As any of you that read my blog regularly already know, I have been stressing a lot over reaching 150 pounds by a particular date.  My original goal was 48 weeks from my start date, which worked out to be January 28, 2013.  Then I thought I could move up my goal by 8 weeks to December 3rd, because my trend line for so many weeks was 1.8lbs per week rather than my originally projected 1.5lbs per week.  Then the weight loss slowed down and I decided December 31st was more realistic.  Alas, this last 10 pounds is turning out to be 10 times harder than the 10 pounds before it (quoting Ruth) and December 31st isn't going to happen.  OK, I said to myself, perhaps my original target date of January 28, 2013 was the right goal date, after all.

As I have blogged about my frustrations some of you reminded me about other aspects of my goal...my true goals, actually, not "the number on the scale" goal.  What this is really all about is exactly what I have been calling this from day one, "My Get Fit Initiative."  This has never been about weighing a certain number on the scale, this has always been about being healthy, fit, and active so that I can live a long life, feel great, and do the physically active things I enjoy doing.  Losing weight and keeping that weight off for the rest of my life is certainly a part, a big part, of that goal.  But there is a lot more to it, too.  And I am so much closer to that goal than I was 9 months ago. 

The progress I've made has been tremendous.  Yes, I've lost 66.4 pounds.  I've also gone from a 1X/2X top to a medium and from size 18 jeans to an 8.  I am wearing size 6 underwear, for goodness sake!  For most of my life a wore a 7, then those got to small and I had to wear an 8.  Now, sixes fit best.  I can't ever remember buying size 6 undies, before.  I was wearing a size 42DDD bra and about 20 pounds ago I bought 36DD bras, and now those are getting too big.  Soon, I will probably be buying 34D or 34DD bras.  Quite frankly, I feel good about the way I feel and the way I look in my clothes.  I want to lose this last 7 pounds, but it doesn't have to come off tomorrow for me to feel good about myself and the way I look.

On a fitness level, my progress is even more impressive.  When I started my Get Fit Initiative I walked most of my four mile route and the part that I did jog was very difficult.  The first time I got in the pool I could swim four laps freestyle, before I had to swim breast stroke or side stroke to rest.  Now I can run 6.5 miles without walking any of it and I can swim 2000 meters.  If I run short distances I can average 6mph instead of 5mph.  I can even keep up a pace of 6.5mph for short distances, though I can only handle 7mph for a minute.  8 months ago a 10th of a mile at 6.0mph was incredibly difficult.  Now I can maintain that pace for 4 miles.  I couldn't do 3 tricep dips when I started working out with Jeremy, now I can do 20 or more.  I couldn't do a single push-up and now I can do 10.  Wall sits used to kill my legs and I was trembling after 15 seconds, now they are pretty routine.  I have gotten much, much stronger.  I don't have resting heart rate stats, but I am sure that has improved, too.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I am going to try to stop stressing so much about 7 or 8 pounds.  The new year is quickly approaching and I am ready to set new goals for the new year.  To put it bluntly, I am tired of focusing on losing weight and I am ready to focus on fitness, strength, and endurance.  Weight is something I can never and will never ignore.  But I want the maintenance of my weight to be a side-effect of my fitness plan, instead of fitness being a side-effect of my weight-loss plan.  I am not saying this is going to be easy for me; in fact, I think it is going to be incredibly difficult, but as of January 1, no matter how much I weigh, I am going to end phase 1 (weight loss phase) and begin phase 2 (focus on fitness phase) of my Get Fit Initiative. 

I'm about out of time for this blog post, but phase 2 will include goals like competing in my first triathlon, being able to do a certain number of push-ups, being able to do 1 pull-up, reducing body fat to a certain %, etc...  I need to think about those goals and decide what they are, but that is the direction that I am thinking about.

I have also started thinking about another important set of goals for 2013; all of those things that are talked about in the last 3rd of the Younger Next Year book.  I'll need to drag the book back out refresh my memory, but they center around being committed to and connected to people and causes that are important to me.  They are about being engaged, on a meaningful level, to something outside of my own head.  The transition to my new job in 2013 was huge.  As I settle into that in the coming year, I hope to have energy to focus on other things as well.

I appreciate all of your support, thoughts, suggestions, encouragement, and ideas.  Thank you for being part of my team by following my blog.  It makes a difference, just knowing there are people out there reading.  It really does.

12/11/12: Oral Health Day!!

Morning Weight:  159.0
This Morning's Exercise: Cardio:  24 minutes stairmaster (12 minutes level 7, 12 minutes level 8), 1500 meters row machine (8 minutes), 20 minutes elliptical machine - hill training
Yesterday Evening's Exercise:  30 minutes treadmill (10 minutes 5mph, 10 minutes 5.6mph, 5 minutes 6mph, 2 minutes 6.5mph, 1 minute 7mph, 2 minutes slowing down to walk to cool down.)
Yesterday's Calories: 1417
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

No time to blog today...I have to go to the dentist this morning.  But I am thinking about a new plan for the new year.  More on that later.

Have a great day!!!!!

12/10/2012: Weight Gain, Fun Shopping, Disappointing Customer Service at Ann Taylor

Morning Weight:  160.2

This Morning's Exercise: Strength Training, see last Friday

Yesterday's Exercise:  1 hour of racquetball with Jack.  I am getting better. Since he is so much better than I am I get a handicap.  I can score when he serves, but he can't score when I serve.  With that handicap I managed to get 17 points before he reached 21, yesterday.  Also, he doesn't play all out, unless he needs to turn it up to win, but I am getting to more and more of the balls, doing a better job keeping my eye on the ball until I hit it, and getting better at putting myself in the right spot to hit the ball.  It'll be a while before our games are truly competitive, but we are having fun and it is a great workout!  The initial plan was to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes after playing racquetball, but I was so wiped out by the time an hour of racquetball was up that I decided that was good enough.

Saturday's Exercise: Strength training with Jeremy Wallen.  I have four more sessions with Jeremy Wallen until I have used all of my pre-paid sessions at 24Hour Fitness.  I can't bring myself to not use them, and the workouts that the two trainers put together are pretty different from one another, so I figure it can't hurt.  Well...it makes me sore...but I feel like I am getting more muscles exercised.  The fourth strength training session this week did wipe my muscles out.  My arms are shot!  I was going to swim tonight for my evening exercise, but I think I will run, instead, to give my arms a break.  One of the exercises that J Wallen had me do on Saturday was pushups with my hands on foam rollers instead of on the floor.  Oh, that was hard and I am still sore from that. 

Yesterday's Calories: 1360
Saturday's Calories:  1549
Friday's Calories:  1581
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

As you can imagine, I am pretty disappointed in my weight this morning.  It is a mark-my-chart day and I haven't been able to bring myself to draw the line going above 160lbs again.  This has been an incredibly frustrating few weeks.  Obviously, I've reached a point where my body is fighting to hold onto its remaining stores and somehow I have to convince it to give some of it up.  I find myself wondering what would have happened if I decided I wanted to get to 140 pounds, would I have stalled out between 148 and 150?  Carla suggested perhaps that 158 is my ideal weight, and not 150, but I am not willing to go there.  I think I would feel differently if I had picked a target on the low end of normal for my height, like 135 and stalled out 8-10 pounds over that.  But I picked a target weight at the high end of normal for my height.  I don't think 150lbs for a 50 year old woman that is just barely shy of 5'6" tall is unrealistic.  I had Jack measure me so I could be sure of my height.  Yep, it's what it has always been.  Just a hair away from 5'6" tall.  I have heard of some people getting taller when they start working out a lot, but I had no such luck.

There was a bright spot this weekend; which only got slightly tarnished on Sunday, but life goes on.  I am attending Enterprise Bank's holiday party Wednesday evening (just for an hour - I'll still make bowling so no worries to my Spare Change teammates) and I have nothing in my wardrobe that fits except jean and tops.  Nothing.  Everything else has been donated to Goodwill or the Boys and Girls Club.  So I needed to go shopping.  I wanted to buy clothes that would be appropriate for the party, but that would also be lasting pieces for my wardrobe so I decided to buy a skirt and sweater at Ann Taylor, rather than a cocktail dress.  Of course, once I was there I had to try the on cocktail dresses (they were having a 30% off on dresses sale).  Every dress I tried on was an 8, and they all fit and fit well.  I looked good in those dresses.  If they were sleeveless I needed to wear a little shrug, just over my shoulders to hide a little extra skin right under my arms, but the dresses looked great and I felt wonderful in them.  I didn't buy a dress though, because I knew it would be something I would only wear once in a great while and I need to start building up a versatile wardrobe.  I ended up buying a very pretty skirt (size 8), sweater, and blouse (both mediums).  Unfortunately, that was a much more expensive option than one of the dresses at 30% off, but it feels like a much smarter purchase because I will be able to wear the sweater with jeans and slacks, the blouse with any number of other outfits and the skirt has a lot of colors in it and I will be able to wear it into spring.  The outfit is pretty, but professional looking, so I could easily wear it to business meetings in the fall, winter or spring.  I am sure these will be pieces that I will be staples in my wardrobe for years to come.

It was fun shopping and looking good in everything I put on.  What a treat it was.  My stomach (my biggest problem area, in my opinion) even looked OK.  The working out is making a huge difference.  In fact, when I put on the first sleeveless dress and I went out to ask for help to find something to cover up my shoulders, I bent my arms to touch my shoulders when I was talking to the sales lady and she said, "Do you work out a lot?"  She was impressed with my biceps!  We ended up having a great conversation and I told her how much weight I lost.  She kept asking me if I was on a special program and I kept saying, "No, I just exercise for an hour six days a week and try to eat less than 1600 calories a day."  Then, when I was trying on dresses she came back and asked me if I was on Weight Watchers, and I told her no, again.  Finally she said she felt like she needed to lose 20 pounds and was struggling with it.  She is middle aged, probably older than me by 10 years or more, so I told her she probably needed to start lifting weights.  I explained to her that women over 40 start losing lean muscle mass at a fairly brisk pace and there was no way women our age could successfully lose weight and keep it off without lifting weights.  To my surprise, she agreed with me!!  That doesn't happen very often.  Most women say, "Oh, but I don't want to bulk up."  My answer to that would be, "Look at me.  I weigh almost 160 pounds and I am a size 8."  An 8!  I haven't been an 8 since college.  Obviously the weight lifting is doing the opposite of bulking me up, it is toning me up and making me smaller, in spite of being heavier.  The last time I was an 8 I was 20 years old and weighed 135 pounds.  Interesting...  Anyway, it turns out that the sales lady was a ballerina in her younger days and had to do quite a bit of strength training when she was a professional dancer.  She still gives dance lessons, but she stopped lifting weights when she stopped dancing professionally.  She got quite enthused about the thought of lifting weights and said she was going to go home that evening and start lifting again.  I warned her that she would be sore for a couple of days, but she brushed that off and said she knew it was worth it.  It felt really great to inspire her!!

Now for the tarnish.  On Sunday, Ann Taylor advertised a 30% off everything sale.  So, like the good shopper I am, I took my receipt in to ask them to honor the sales price.  Seriously, I don't know a retailer that won't do that.  And they refused.  I was so pissed!  I told them I could go get my clothes, return them, and repurchase them and get the sales price.  Of course, they knew that to be true, but they said it was store policy.  On the way home I called Ann Taylor headquarters and filed a complaint.  I also sent an email.  Unfortunately, I had already cut the tags off the clothes.  Perhaps I could have still brought them back and repurchased them, but I didn't.  There were other things I wanted to do yesterday afternoon, like play racquetball with my husband.  I am going to harass corporate headquarters for a while, but I doubt they will do anything.  I do know they have lost a customer for life.  I like their clothes, but they are expensive.  It's not worth shopping there if they are not going to take care of their customers better than that.  So, no more Ann Taylor.  A shame.  I like their clothes.  But I don't like their attitude and life is 90% attitude. 

I am changing up one thing this week.  I spent the evening yesterday cooking two meals to take to work for lunch and to eat in the evenings.  I am hoping by eating my own cooking I will be able to shake the stalemate with the scale loose.  I am going to focus more on lean proteins and vegetables and eat fewer carbs.  We'll see of that makes a difference.  Ruth suggested spin class, which would kick my ass, I'm sure.  I'll have to check the schedule again, but it seems like last time I checked the classes were at times that were pretty inconvenient for me.  Maybe I can make it work, though.

I'm hoping for a weight loss week!  I hope you have a great week, too!!

12/7/2012: Just Another Day

Morning Weight:  158.2 - OK, a little progress...I'll take it!
This Morning's Exercise: Strength Training, see below
Yesterday Evening's Activity:  Walked around Brookside with Jack and enjoyed the Christmas carolers, decorations and local shops 
Yesterday's Calories: 1508
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

This week's strength training:

--Repeat 4 times:
------20 walking wide squats, 20 lbs:  Hold 20lb medicine ball in curled arms, high up against chest.  Take wide step to the right and with legs spread apart, lower into squat.  Stand, bringing the back foot up to the foot that took the step.  Repeat 20 steps in the same direction, then reverse and come back for 20 walking wide squats in the opposite direction, stepping wide with the left foot first.
------20 slow tube curls, dark red tube band:  Hold handles of band in each hand and step on middle of band with both feet.  Slowly do bicep curl, stretching band as you do the curl.  Slowly lower arms into original position.  Repeat 20 times

--Repeat 4 times:
------45 seconds pole throws, 15 lbs:  Hold 15lb medicine ball in front of you like you are going to do a chest pass with a basketball.  Then throw the ball up and in front of you, as high as you can, bouncing it against a strong wall or pole, above your head.  Catch the ball as it comes back down and throw it back up, quickly, as many times as you can in 45 seconds.
------16 reverse walking lunges, 15lbs:  Hold that same 15lb medicine ball in arms against chest.  Take a long step backwards and lower into lunge position.  Stand up, bringing the front foot back to meet the back foot.  Repeat 16 times, alternating feet.

--Repeat 4 times:
------16 (each foot) cable step ups, 50 lbs:  This exercise uses the cable machine and a short stool.  Place a short stool (about mid-calf high) in front of cable machine.  Hold handle of cable in each hand, with 50lbs on each side.  Step up onto stool and back down again, 16 times with one foot, then 16 times with the other foot.
------16 dips:  With short stool behind you, place hands on stool and walk feet out almost into a reverse plank position.  Lower yourself toward ground, bending your elbows.  Lift yourself back up again.  Repeat 16 times.

It was a tough workout.  It's usually not the first 40 reps of anything that gets to me, it's that last 16 or 20 that are murder!!  I can't believe I am going all the way to Lee's Summit for this torture!!  Seriously, I can feel a huge difference working with Jeremy Walters.  The workouts feel well rounded and are difficult without being impossible.  My body feels tighter and more toned after just the first week of my new workouts.  It's good to be back!!

I've decided I am going to start looking into taking a wood working class.  That is something I have always wanted to do.  I'll probably start knitting again, too, for when I want to just sit and relax.  After all, I can knit and harass Jack at the same time.  :-)  Cathy, I like the idea of knitting with really nice yarn...it does feel good to just hold it.  I'll make a scarf first, to get used to knitting again, and then try to learn new skills to make more complicated and fun things to wear.

12/6/2012: You'll never guess how much I weighed today!

Morning Weight:  158.6 - Can you believe it?!?!?  What is it about 158.6????
This Morning's Exercise: None, Day Off!!!
Yesterday Evening's Exercise:  Bowling (We lost, again!  But I am getting a little bit better.  I am consistently hitting the head pin with my first ball, though I think I got 10 splits in my first 2 games.  Seriously.  I didn't know it was possible to get so many splits.  And no, I didn't pick any of them up!  Right now I am the 3rd most improved player on the league.  I think I can get that most improved title if I keep on practicing!!)
Yesterday's Calories: 1525
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

Plateau?  What plateau?  This isn't a plateau, I'm stuck in the middle of the lowlands of the Great Plains.  1500 feet of elevation and 1000 miles to go to get to sea level.  At least that is what it feels like.  Check out the flat line over the last TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!

12/6/2012 Chart:  After 2.5 Weeks Between 159.4 and 158.6

It's hard to believe that my weight has been this constant for this long.  My progress line is starting to look like a maintenance line, but I am not ready for maintenance!!!  As you can see, I am just two weeks short of hitting my original goal line if I don't start losing some more weight soon.  If I do cross over my line that would be only the second time since I started my "Get Fit Initiative" that I went over.  It's not going to happen though.  Something is bound to shake loose!

Hmmmm....shake loose....that sounds like a plan.  Does anyone have one of those old belt thingys that you stand on and the belt vibrates, shaking your midsection?  My mom used to have one of those.  Maybe I can shake some of this stubborn fat into submission.  I'm ready to try just about anything!!

Jen suggested nourishing my soul.  This is what she had to say in response to my frustration with plateauing for so long;

"I can hear the frustration at the unexpected slow down (and the acknowledgment that it's normal with the last few pounds, etc), and I wonder if you've considered other ways of taking care of yourself as a supplement at this stage. Your diet and exercise plan have been incredibly successful, but I'm wondering about other self care to add that little spark to it all - a mani/pedi? Massage? New hair color (I saw a blue streak in a woman's hair the other day and had the urge to color mine for the holidays, but then again, I live in Berkeley)?

Something nurturing for your body that acknowledges this really successful, long journey. Not a reward in the incentive sense like shopping for new jeans, but really nurturing your soul."

Her suggestion made me pause for a minute and think.  "Nurture my soul?  What does that mean, really?"  I haven't thought about it in those terms.  When I think about what makes me happiest, I gravitate to thoughts of hiking and camping.  Being outdoors, away from it all, where the beauty of nature surrounds me without all of the sights and sounds of the modern world.  Our vacation to Maine was just like that.  I loved it!!  I know going on hikes on the weekends is one of the things I can do to reorient myself and recharge my batteries.  This time of year it is a little more difficult.  Perhaps if it is not raining this weekend we will need to make a point of going on a 2 or 3 hour hike.

I am also thinking about embracing the spirit of the holiday rather than hiding from it.  We have our tree up, with the lights on it, but we still need to decorate it.  We'll probably hang the ornaments this weekend.  But that is not enough.  There are many festivities in Kansas City, surrounding the holiday, which I have always ignored.  Tonight our quaint local shopping area has a Christmas festival with music, refreshments, and the shops staying open late.  We decided this morning that we will go to that.  Tomorrow evening is First Friday in Kansas City, when all of the art galleries stay open late and have open houses.  I think we will go to that, too.  Perhaps getting a little more engaged in what is going on in and around our community will help me feel more balanced.  Winter is rough for me.  It gets dark so early and all I want to do when I get home is go to bed.  6:30 or 7:00 is a little too early for bed time.  I wonder if my body not losing weight has something to do with the shorter days and my desire to just eat and hibernate.  Perhaps I am just responding to the natural rhythms of nature's cycles.  Anyway, sitting around in the evening doing nothing isn't working.  I am not a TV watcher, so when I am bored I just harass Jack while he is watching TV.  That's not a good plan.  I am in a non-reading mode.  I go through cycles with reading, I'll read a bunch and then I don't feel like reading for a while.  I have read a lot of books over the last six months and lately I haven't been able to settle down and read more than a few pages at a time.   Now I've got myself thinking about hobbies.  I like to sew...perhaps I should start sewing.  I've always wanted to get into wood working and start making things.  I love making things.  And with wood working I get to buy power tools.  I love power tools!!!!

I just about have myself convinced that I need to start thinking of ways to be more actively engaged in some sort of fun activity in the evenings.  I have energy (until about 8:30, anyway) yet I don't have anything to do.  Jen...I think you are onto something here.  I'm missing a piece that could bring some real satisfaction to daily life.  I'll give some serious thought to what I can do with this couple of hours in the evening that will be fulfilling and enjoyable without adding stress (as in not adding unnecessary commitments that I'll end up regretting before long).  Maybe the first thing will be a sewing project.  I have the tools for that, I just need to think of something I want to make and buy the materials.  Hmmmm....

OK...something new to think about.  What are your thoughts, ideas, suggestions regarding "nourishing the soul?"  I'd love to hear what you have to say!