2/19/2016: Another Scheme

The quest for the "perfect plan" is never ending.  What I am constantly seeking is that magic formula that is a combination of incentives and tools that will keep me at a healthy weight for the rest of my life.  It's not just about my weight though, it is also about exercise.  There is a big difference between weighing 150 pounds and being fit and weighing 150 pounds and being unfit.  A HUGE difference.

So, as I emerge from my convalescence and resume my normal activities, I am determined to maintain my weight at 150 pounds and resume the exercise habits that I so carefully cultivated over the last four years.

As I told my sister yesterday, I am not a natural born exerciser.  Exercising most days of the week is something I had to force myself to do.  Most of my adult life I struggled with the knowledge that I should exercise, but I really didn't want to.  I am envious of people that actually like to exercise.  I am not one of them.  But, over the last four years, I have developed enough of an appreciation for the benefits of exercise that I now know that exercising almost every day for the rest of my life is something I have to do.  I don't say that I hate exercising anymore.  I still struggle to get out of bed and put on my gym clothes, but once I get past that hurdle, actually exercising for an hour is not that bad.

With regard to diet, I know what to eat.  Jack and I have a very clean and healthy diet.  High quality proteins, in reasonable quantities, lots of vegetables, and enough fruit to be satisfying.  We don't eat any crap food, not as a rule.  I have decided that dairy doesn't suit me, so it is not part of my diet.  We don't eat any grains, either.  I cook almost all of our food.  We don't buy any manufactured foods and we very seldom eat out.  So I'm not interested in the next fad diet.

I don't need or want to lose 10 pounds in two weeks.  I don't need or want any miracle pills or special shakes.  I know we have a healthy diet and I am close to my "goal" weight.  So I have the tools.  What I really need is the incentive to use them, consistently, forever.

I admit that I am constantly changing schemes.  What I use for motivation today may very well be tossed out for another incentive tomorrow.  But I came up with a new scheme on Tuesday and it still feels good today.  That's three whole days.  Maybe I am on to something.

This is the deal:

I have become somewhat obsessed with shopping for clothes.  I have also found myself to be always on the lookout for shoes, sandals, or boots that are attractive and fit me (I wear a 9 EE).  I want to be able to go off program (with regard to food) every now and then, for parties and special occasions.  In fact, last weekend, I did go off program for one evening.  I gained 4 pounds.  I have lost three of those pounds since then, but, man, I have to be careful.  I really do want to weigh 150 pounds for the rest of my life.  I can't have off program days very often and maintain my weight.

So, this is the incentive:  As long as I weigh more than 150 pounds I can't buy new clothes or new shoes.  I also must stay 100% on program if I weigh more than 150 pounds.  When I weigh 150 pounds (or less) I can go off program for an evening and I can buy myself new outfits.

I think this plan works, because it gives me the flexibility to go off program, but it gives me the incentive to get back on program, quickly.  Also, it makes sense with regards to clothes, because that way I will only have one size in my closet, forever.  I won't be buying larger clothes because I've gained a little weight.

Exercise is not explicit in this plan, but it is implicit.  The more muscle mass I have, the less diligent I need to be with regard to food.  Right now, I have to be very careful about what I eat.  I am looking forward to getting my muscles fired back up so that they start burning more calories.

It's getting late - I've got to run.  I'll proof read later.

Have a beautiful day!

2/17/2016: Starting Over

I am finally exercising again.  I tried to start a couple of weeks ago, but it was too soon and I paid the price with way too many aches and pains.  I had to admit that I was not quite ready.

Over the weekend I noticed that I was feeling almost normal.  I could still tell I had surgery several weeks ago, but my movements were no longer restricted and my gut didn't actually hurt anymore.  So I decided to give it another go.

Yesterday I stretched and lifted weights.  Today I went for a jog/walk/run.  I am starting all over again.  My weights are light and I am doing fewer reps.  I am taking it easy on the core exercises.  I only went for a two mile "jog" this morning and I could not run anywhere close to the entire two miles.  I walked, then I jogged, and then I walked, and then I did a few short sprints, and then I walked, and then I jogged, and then I walked some more.  It will be a while until I can build back up to a four mile run.  My short term goal is to be ready for kickball in four weeks.  I do not want to hurt myself.

There is other stuff to talk about, but it is getting late already.  I'll blog some more tomorrow.

Have a beautiful day.

Thursday, 2/11/2016: Bowling Night

Last night was bowling night and I was able to bowl all three games!  Last week I could only bowl the first two before I had to quit.  Yesterday, I started the evening still feeling sore from trying on clothes on Saturday, so I was concerned that I wouldn't make it through all three games.  But the pain never got any worse and I was able to bowl fairly well.  I even averaged about 160 pins per game!  I can't complain about that.  The most difficult part is actually picking up the ball.  I'm happy to be able to notice an improvement over last week.  Maybe by next week I'll feel almost normal.

Kickball starts in four weeks.  I am anxious about that.  I won't be up to snuff because I haven't been running or lifting weights.  I thought I'd be working out by now, but it turns out my body isn't quite ready for all of that.  I'm going to have to ease back into all of this a lot more gradually than I originally thought.

Other than that, my recovery continues to go according to schedule.  I am keeping up with the scar therapy and have found a bra to sleep in that is really comfortable.  The doctor said I didn't have to sleep in a bra, but I am finding that wearing the bra to bed is helping me sleep better.  It seems to be keeping some pressure off of the incisions under my breasts.

There's not much news to report.  It's February, what can I say.  The doldrums of winter have set in.

Have a beautiful day!

Wednesday, 2/10/2016: Set Back? Not really, just not 100% and that is what I really want to be.

I felt good on Saturday morning so I decided to get some things done.  While Jack was doing the grocery shopping and going to see a movie that I really did not want to see, I ran a couple of errands and started going through my closet and drawers.

I tried on all of the clothes in my winter wardrobe in order to start the process of getting rid of the clothes that I knew I wouldn't wear anymore.  If I put it on, looked in the mirror, and did not say, "Oh, that's cute," or, "I really like this," it went in the discard pile.  My discard pile wasn't huge, but I made some room in my closet and drawers and I haven't gone through my spring and summer clothes, yet.

While I am glad I accomplished this task, it turns out that trying on clothes is hard work.  By the time I was done, my abdominal muscles were getting very tired.  They have been sore ever since.  This is disappointing.  I am not sure why it's disappointing, but it is.  I really am going to have to ease myself back into normal life.

We bowl again tonight.  I hope to be able to bowl all three games, but if I tire quickly, I will quit after two games.  We start playing kickball on March 6th.  That is still a month away.  I hope I have some of my strength and stamina built back up by then.

Other than that, I am just plugging away.  Mostly I am working and resting and getting a few chores done along the way.  I'm looking forward to normal.  It shouldn't be too far off, right?

Have a beautiful day!

Friday, February 5, 2016: Everything is Fine

That title is so boring.  Everything is fine.

I am almost done with my 7th week of an estimated 3 month healing process and I feel pretty good.  My energy is coming back, nothing really hurts, and I can do most of the things that I want to do.

The incisions under my breasts are still tender.  I think they might be getting aggravated by the scar away strips, so I am going to stop using them on those scars for a few days and see what happens.  My abdominal muscles are sore after doing a few crunches and planks on Wednesday morning and bowling on Wednesday evening, so I am resting for a couple of days before exercising again.  My lower belly still gets a little swollen from time to time, but if I strap on a garment for a few hours it takes care of the problem.  The scars are flattening out and getting thinner, though they are still quite red.  Time, time, time is on my side.  Yes it is!!

I love my new body.  I feel confident and and I am content with the way I look.  I am looking forward to doing the great wardrobe purge and slowly building up a wardrobe of clothes that I truly enjoy wearing.

I hope all is well with anyone who happens to read this, today.

Have a beautiful day!

2/3/16: I Did It!

Yes!  I got up this morning and spent an hour exercising.  I spent the first 20 minutes doing stretches and warm up exercises and the remaining 40 minutes running through a series of strength training exercises with very light or no weights.  It felt good.  It will feel better when this becomes routine.

I have determined, through scientific study, that I cannot get out of bed before 4:00AM.  I have set my clock for 3:30 several times, but getting up that early seems to be impossible.  So this morning I reset my clock for 4:00 and decided that I will make up for the time by cutting my relaxation time a little shorter and getting to work a little later.  I may also decide to start blogging in the evenings.

My belly was a little bloated/swollen this morning.  I think that is because I have not worn a garment at all for 2 entire days.  I strapped my compression garment on this morning, which provides some relief.  I think I will wear a spanx to work today.  It feels so good to not have to wear any kind of garment, but I don't like having a swollen tummy.  For the rest of this week I will wear my compression garment for a few hours in the evening.

Due to my late start, I am running a little late, so I have to run.

Have a beautiful day.

2/2/2016: Mixed Bag

The last few days have been a mixed bag of what I have and have not accomplished.  I have had two late nights in a row, which has made it difficult to get up early enough to stretch.  Compound that with the fact that I can't really exercise yet, and getting out of bed to establish my pattern for next week lost its sense of urgency.  

My late night on Sunday was unavoidable.  I went to bed on time and my son, Steve, started texting me from his small village in Samoa.  He is with the Peace Corps and his assignment is teaching young children how to read English.  School started last week and he texted me to tell me how upset he is about witnessing one of the male teachers beating up 8 year old kids.  What Steven described is really disturbing.  He has reported the incident to Peace Corps HQ but he is not sure what comes next.  He is pretty certain that they will reassign him to avoid possible retribution.  I am sure you can see why I stayed awake to finish that conversation.  

Last night's late bedtime was more avoidable, but my curiosity got the better of me.  I wanted to watch the Iowa caucus results.  This blog is not going to turn political, but I will say that I was glad that Trump did not win the Republican caucus and that Rubio made a strong showing.  On the Democratic side I was pleased to see Sanders give Clinton a run for her money.  On to New Hampshire!!

On the plus side, Jack and I did go for walks on Saturday and Sunday, which is my currently prescribed exercise regimen.  In fact, on Saturday we had a lovely outing which included bowling (I bowled two games and averaged a 150), going out to lunch, strolling around the plaza, and shopping.  It was nice to spend a large part of the day out and about without getting too tired.  I really enjoyed myself.  On Sunday we went for a nice two mile walk in the neighborhood.  Not quite at pace, but almost.  My strength is coming back.

Another accomplishment for Sunday is that I got all of the meals, including vegetables, cooked for the week before noon.  Since my surgery I have been relying on Jack's help to get the cooking done.  At first, he did all of it, with me sitting in the kitchen providing instructions and moral support.  Then I started helping a little.  By last week, I was keeping up with him.  This week I went back to my normal routine which is to start cooking as soon as I wake up on Sunday and to continue cooking until all the meals are cooked and in the fridge.  I took a break to cook and eat breakfast with Jack and I still had everything done before noon.  That felt like a real sense of accomplishment.  Part of the relief is knowing that no food will spoil and go uneaten if I have to work late or am too tired to cook in the evenings.  It's nice to be able to get back to routines that work.

My stamina is improving.  I can work a full day with very little discomfort.  I still get a little ache in my tummy at the end of a long day, but it's not bad.  The most uncomfortable aspect of recovery is the scar away strips under my breasts.  They rub against my bra and get kind of itchy and irritable.  Not much I can do about that.  I have 4 more weeks of scar away treatment left, after this week.  It's all fine.

I am happier with the results of my surgery with every day that goes by.  My clothes fit great.  I keep changing my mind with regards to what I like best about the results.  A huge improvement that I have not discussed much is that my belly above my belly button is now flat.  My tummy had gotten stretched enough that I had a significant roll of loose skin between the lower edge of my rib cage and my belly button.  That roll of skin showed through everything other than the loosest of clothing and I hated it.  A lot of my clothing choices were made specifically to conceal that particular part of my body.  Now, I can put on a shirt that fits, and there are no rolls or bulges.  Yes, I am pretty happy about that!!

Speaking of clothing, I am planning on purging my closet in a couple of months, when I switch my closet from winter to spring/summer clothes.  I am going to try on everything I own.  If I look in the mirror and love it, I'm keeping it.  If I look in the mirror and go, "Eh, it's OK," it's going in a box for Goodwill.  As I said, most of the clothes that I own I bought not because they looked good on me or because I loved them, but because they hid the rolls and bulges that I hated so much.  I am looking forward to slowly rebuilding a wardrobe of clothes that I like.  I am looking forward to wearing clothes that reflect my style and who I am.  Of course, I have to figure out what that style is, but hey, these things don't happen over night.  But the first step is getting rid of the clothes that I know I will never wear again.  That should be a fun day!

Until then, it's work, work, work.  I really do have to run.  Too much to do and not enough time in the day.  You know how it is!

Have a beautiful day!