12/19/2012: Resting and Getting Well

Morning Weight:  155.0
This Morning's Exercise: None, starting to feel better, though.  I think I will probably walk tomorrow
Yesterday's Exercise:  None - just rested
Yesterday's Calories: 1651
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

Life is boring when one is sick.  I haven't done much over the last few days except sleep, eat, drink water, and haul my butt to work.  I wouldn't be going to work except for the fact that the auditors are there for the pre-audit field work for our first ever annual audit.  So far, that is going surprisingly well.  We were well enough prepared for them and we are not holding them up in any way.  All but one of their questionnaires are complete and they have an interview scheduled today with the two people that need to complete that last questionnaire.  They have the trial balances they need, board minutes, etc... so they have plenty to keep them busy this week and everything they need to plan their field work which will commence mid-March.  Fun times at Castle Creations!!

I haven't exercised since Sunday and on Sunday I was already starting to feel under the weather so I only walked on the treadmill for an hour.  I am starting to feel better today (maybe it's those smoothies I've been eating for breakfast!) so I think I will walk again tomorrow.  I hope to feel well enough to do my personal training session with Jeremy Walters on Friday morning.

I've been hungry...feed a cold?  I've been eating plenty - around 1600 calories a day -  but I have started losing weight again, as you may have noticed.  That three week plateau was rough...I was beginning to think that I would weigh 158 forever and was working hard to try to accept that fact when all of the sudden I started to lose weight again.  This morning I weighed 155.0 pounds.  This has become a habit of mine, to plateau for a while then lose all of the weight I thought I should be losing during the plateau very quickly.  It's just never lasted three weeks before.  I thought I'd share my chart again, so you can see what the last 4 weeks has looked like:

12/19/12 Chart:  69 Pounds lost, 5 to go

I guess the lesson to learn here is to never get discouraged and keep doing the right thing.  Your body knows what it is doing (really?!?!?!) and as long as you are exercising everyday and eating right, good things will happen. 

It's amazing to me how much closer 155lbs looks to my goal than 159lbs looked.  I really am almost there.  I've lost 69 pounds and I only have 5 left to lose.  I am not going to predict when it will happen, but I am sure it will, someday.   I just have to stick with the plan.

It bears repeating that one of the major things that I changed at the beginning of last week is that I started cooking meals again.  I have eaten out only once, and that was for a lunch meeting (I had a salad).  Previously I was eating out for lunch most days and I usually had a turkey sub on wheat bread at Subway or a salad at Panera's.  I was confident of my calorie count and felt like my choices were pretty healthy, but when I stopped eating out and started eating my own cooking, the weight started dropping off again.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.  The other thing that changed is the intensity of my strength training went up when I started working with Jeremy Walters again.  I noticed a significant difference between the strength training with the two different trainers, and that may be part of the difference, too.  Whatever it is, I am grateful that my body is responding to whatever it is responding to.  It really would be nice to be able to reach my goal of 150 pounds before my chart runs out of room.  It would feel complete or finished, I guess.  On the other hand, as I said in an earlier post, I'm going to try not to stress over these last few pounds.  I am going to be grateful for what comes off, but as of January 1st the focus will be on fitness, not weight loss.

Oh dear, I have to admit, that just felt like a lie.  Even as I am typing this, I know the closer I get to 150lbs the more important it becomes to me to get there while I still have room on my chart.  My original goal date was January 28th, that is 5.5 weeks away.  My chart actually goes out to February 11th, that gives me another two weeks.  So, I have 7.5 weeks left to lose 5 pounds.  If I can accomplish that, my line will cross the x axis before I run out of chart.  Yes, honestly, deep down in side, I really, really want that to happen.  And now that my body is cooperating again, I believe it can happen and it is going to be incredibly hard for me to let that go.  Oh, the mind games!!!!  Just breathe deeply and take each day as it comes!

12/18/12: Still Not Feeling Whippy Skippy

Morning Weight:  155.2
This Morning's Exercise: None, still sick
Yesterday's Exercise:  None - rested
Yesterday's Calories: 1592
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

I have an early meeting today and need to run.  Not much new to say, anyway.  Just trying to get over this dang cold.

Have a great day!!

12/17/12: I Am Not Doing This Alone

Morning Weight:  155.2
This Morning's Exercise: None, I'm sick
Yesterday's Exercise:  1 hour walk on treadmill at 3.5 mph
Yesterday's Calories: 1641
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

I woke up Saturday morning feeling fine.  By Saturday afternoon I was getting the sniffles, Sunday morning I woke up with a sore throat and by noon I knew I had a cold.  My body wasn't feeling too bad yet, but my snotty nose was telling me the story I needed to know.  I texted Ruth about yesterday's exercise, I was supposed to go swimming yesterday because it has been a couple of weeks since I've been in the pool. She advised staying out of the pool until the cold was on its way out and to dress warmly and do an hour walk on the treadmill, instead.  That's what I did.  I went to bed last night feeling crappy and was able to sleep OK, but I am still feeling pretty crappy this morning.  I chose sleep over getting up to go to the gym.  I may walk some this evening, but mostly I think I need to rest and get over this dang cold.  The good news is that this is the first cold I've had since I started my initiative, so that's not too bad.  I'm hoping since I've been diligent about my vitamins, I get plenty of sleep, and I have a healthy routine I will bounce back quickly.  I had my tonsils and adenoids (and my uvula, part of my soft palate, and nasal tissues) removed about 8 years ago to cure my sleep apnea.  A side benefit of that surgery is that I don't get strep throat anymore, which I used to get at least a couple times a winter.  It has also helped with colds, they don't settle into my throat anymore.  I may have a sore throat for a day or so, but they clear up quickly.  So with any luck, I'll be feeling plucky again in no time.  Ruth also advised that I eat smoothies made of strawberries, oranges, spinach and Greek yogurt.  I am throwing in blueberries, too, just because everyone keeps talking about what a super food they are.  I'll kick this thing before you know it!!

All of this is a long introduction for the theme of this post.  I am not doing this alone.  Yesterday I was still feeling well enough that I knew I could swim 1500 - 2000 laps without dying, if I pushed myself.  At the same time, there was part of me that said, "Don't push it, you are getting sick."  Of course, the other part of me said, "Be careful, don't use this as an excuse to not exercise."  I didn't know which whisper to listen to.  When it comes right down to it, I don't quite trust myself, yet.  Yes, I am the one that made the commitment to get fit.  I am the one that has exercised every day and that has counted almost every calorie for 9.5 months.  But I have had support doing it.  Yesterday, when I wasn't sure which way to go with the exercise I told my husband that I was going to consult the expert and do whatever she recommended, so I texted Ruth.  She answered right away with a very reasonable solution for the exercise and a recommendation for the smoothie, too.  It relieved me of worry to consult her and follow her instruction.  It kept me from getting into a negative, swirly place in my own mind.  It kept me from second guessing myself.  In spite of the fact that I know I am the one doing this thing, it makes it more manageable knowing I have support from others.  It eases the burden a little bit, not having to make all the choices.  I don't have to worry about slipping into bad habits.  I am following sound advice, not sliding.  It makes a difference.

I have other people on my team, too.  One of them I pay, of course, and that is my personal trainer.  I know that is a luxury that not everyone can afford, but it has been worth every penny.  Personal trainers are like shrinks, though.  There are good ones out there and there are not so good ones out there.  I think the big difference between a good personal trainer and a poor one (and probably the difference between a good shrink and a poor one) is that a good personal trainer really listens to what you want and what you need and responds accordingly.  Jeremy fits the bill for me.  I strength train 3 times a week, but I only see him once a week.  At that appointment he designs the workout that I will use for the rest of the week, keeping in mind that I will be working out alone.  It helps a lot to know I will be seeing him once a week, it keeps me on task and committed to my goals.  It's another way that I hold myself accountable.

My husband is an integral part of my support team, as much for what he doesn't do as for what he does do.  He supports me in this endeavor by getting excited for me when I accomplish something I haven't done before or by commiserating with me when I plateau for 3 weeks.  He never tires of my daily updates and is patient with me when I sit on the edge of the bed before he is even up for the day and whine about not losing any weight today.  He tells me how good I look and goes shopping with me when I need new clothes.  He makes sure I have the tools I need, encourages me to sign up for my personal training sessions because he knows how much they help, and never complains about how much money all of this is costing.  He has no expectation that it is my job to feed him dinner, in spite of the fact that I am the cook in the family.  I can totally focus on what I need to eat and not worry that he is going to get bent out of shape if he doesn't get a hot meal when he gets home from work.  I am not going to say that he isn't pleased with my new routine of cooking meals on Sundays for the rest of the week.  That worked out great for both of us last week.  But he is more than happy to reheat meals for himself during the week.  I've heard many a cook complain that their spouse won't eat leftovers.  That seems ridiculous to me.  I am sure I am leaving out a hundred little things that Jack does to support my get fit initiative, but I think you get the idea.

I also have this blog and my readers.  Knowing I am going to write about what transpired each day keeps me on track.  Sometimes it's hard to talk about eating too much or not reaching a goal I set or gaining a little weight.  But knowing I am going to write about it has moderated my behavior.  I don't binge anymore.  Every now and then I may have a mini-binge, but I am always thinking about calories and what I am going to have to post and that always causes me to stop before it gets out of hand.  It's made a huge difference.  Every now and then I think I don't feel like exercising.  And then I think about how evangelical I've been about exercising on this blog, and out in the real world, and I realize how hypocritical it would be to not exercise after I have spent so much time telling everybody that exercising an hour a day for six days a week is essential to a long, happy, healthy life.  I really believe that and I talk about it a lot.  When I am feeling really lazy, it gets me off my butt when I recall what I have written about on this blog.

I have to go to work now, but the long and the short of it is that I am not doing this alone.  The support that I have had from so many people has made this seemingly impossible task doable.  I encourage anyone and everyone that wants to get fit to put together their team early in the process.  It makes all of the difference in the world.

To all of you who have supported and continue to support me, Thank You!!!!!

12/16/2012: Cook! It Makes a Difference!

Morning Weight:  156.0
This Morning's Exercise: None yet, will go swimming later today
Yesterday's Exercise:  6.5 mile run - 80 minutes
Yesterday's Calories: 1641
Friday's Calories:  1610
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

I've started losing weight again...just when I decided to let go of the 150lb by year end goal.  Funny how that works.  Obviously it's not the calories.  You can see that I actually ate a little more than planned, I've been at 1600 or more for the last few days, rather than 1500 as planned.  It's also not the exercise.  This week's exercise regimen was no different from the last three weeks.  The biggest difference was the quality of the food that I ate.  I took the time last Sunday to cook a couple of big meals, and that has been what I've taken to work for lunch all week, rather than going to Subway for a sandwich or Panera's for a salad.  The number of calories are about the same, but I'm getting many more veggies, more protein, and probably a lot less salt.  These results remind me of the importance of cooking my own food.

The other factor contributing to this sudden loss of a couple of pounds is probably time.  Whatever physiological things that needed to happen inside of my body must have happened, and now I am no longer stuck at 158.something.  This doesn't change anything, I am still switching to stage 2 on January 1st, but it is interesting.  And, yes, I am glad that I've lost a couple more pounds.

It is going to be a busy day!  We have a long to-do list and a Christmas party to go to this afternoon.  I also need to squeeze in my swim.  I'll probably do my cooking this evening, after we get home.  One more week and Christmas will have come and gone and we'll get to start focusing in 2013.  That will be nice!!

12/14/2012: Cookies!

Morning Weight:  157.4
This Morning's Exercise: Strength Training with personal trainer
Yesterday Evening's Activity:  4 hours of baking cookies for company Christmas party. (Hey, I think that counts - I was on my feet for four hours.  Better than sitting on the couch - except for the fact that I ate some of the cookies (see yesterday's calories))
Yesterday's Calories: 1481 plus cookies (I was doing fine until that first batch of chocolate chip cookies came out of the oven.  After "test-tasting" the first one, I ate about 5 more.  They are quite small, only about 1 - 1.5 teaspoons of dough for each cookie. But they are soooo yummy.  Good old fashioned Toll House cookies. I calcuated calories for them once.  They are between 45 - 50 calories each.  So that would be between 270 - 300 calories for cookies...oh, and I ate one gingerbread girl; also quite small.  She was probably another 30 calories.  Oh...and a little cookie dough.  OK.  Not such a good night.  I didn't gain weight though, so that's good.  Imagine what a good day it would have been if I hadn't cookie binged last night!)
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

I don't bake very often anymore and you can see why.  It's hard to bake and not eat what you're baking.  Especially when you bake the things that you think taste really, really good.  I guess I should start baking fruit cake!!  Or maybe oatmeal cookies.  I like oatmeal cookies, but they are not addictive like the chocolate chip cookies or those teeny, tiny, crispy and tangy gingerbread cookies.  Ah well.  I indulged in the season a little bit last night.  I am only going to bake cookies one more time, and that will be for the McKown Christmas Eve family gathering.  I am pretty sure Jack's brother-in-law, Don, would send me home if I showed up without my annual tins of cookies.  It wouldn't surprise me if he was looking forward to them already.  I enjoy baking them and bringing them to the party, but between last night and Christmas Eve, that will be the extent of my baking this year.  The only other special food event for us for this holiday is Christmas morning breakfast.  On our first Christmas morning together I made biscuits and gravy and that immediately became a tradition.  I don't talk about this much on my blog, but I don't eat pork or beef, so making biscuits with sausage gravy is a big deal around here.  Jack looks forward to two beef/pork meals each year; he gets Swiss steak on his birthday (his mom's recipe from when he was a kid) and biscuits and gravy on Christmas.  Both of those meals are very special to him since 80% of the dinners I prepare are vegan and the rest are chicken.  The other traditional food (actually, drink) on Christmas morning is homemade hot chocolate.  We use the recipe right off the back of the Hershey's cocoa container.  When was the last time you made that?  Yeah, it's good!!!  If you're going to indulge in hot cocoa, it might as well be the real deal!!!

Discipline will be important through the end of the year, so that I can lose another pound or two by year end, despite the couple of occasions that I will likely go over my daily caloric allotment.  I have to keep it real, here!!

Jeremy and I talked about my plan to convert to Phase 2 of the plan on January 1st, regardless of whether or not I have reached my goal weight of 150.0 as of year end.  He liked that plan.  Even he said, "Perhaps you have to accept the fact that 158 pounds is your weight."  So, I am still in line with the plan to continue to try to lose a couple more pounds by year end, and then I will switch from my weight loss program to my fitness/strength program on January 1.   I've come a long way baby and I like the way I look!  This plan feels right to me.

Since we have the Christmas theme going with the conversation about the cookies, this seems like a good time to post pictures of our tree.  This year, Jack and I decided to do just a little bit of decorating, so rather than doing up the whole house and dragging out all of our ornaments, we decided to just put up one tree and only hang our "pretty" ornaments.  Below is the result.  I didn't even realize that I didn't bother to put a skirt around the tree until after I saw this picture.  :-)



Christmas Tree 2012



And here are a few snap shots of some of my favorite and new ornaments:

 We saw the moose at Hall's and had to have him.  He reminds us both so much of our vacation this past fall!!  Great memories.

 Jack's a penguin fan, so we had to get this little guy!

 I've had the Pooh ornaments for a while.  You can't really see Piglet in this photo, but he is back there behind Eyeore.  I thought it was fun to make a little Pooh Corner on the tree.  If/when Jack and I decide to start giving away ornaments, I know who is getting these, right Sharlynne?

And Carla Marie will get this Sunflower.  I bought this ornament last year because it reminds me of her.

Too cute, right?  This is another new one that we bought this year.  He looks great hanging on the tree!



12/13/12: Nothing New

Morning Weight:  157.4
This Morning's Exercise: None, Day Off!!
Yesterday Evening's Activity:  Bowling.
Yesterday's Calories: 1675
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

After yesterday's long blog post I don't have anything new to say today, other than that I am continuing to adjust to the idea of letting my focus on weight loss go at year end, whether I have made it to 150 by then or not.  I'll maintain my chart until January 28th, regardless of what happens.  Someday that chart is going to help someone besides me, I'm pretty sure of that, and I want it to be complete.

Just 12 more days and Christmas will come and go, yet again.  One more Christmas season behind us and a brand new year stretched out before us.  I enjoy reflecting on the year past and planning for the year to come on New Year's day.  It'll be here before we know it.

I've lost a little weight the last couple of days.  I know why, too.  It's because I cooked on Sunday and I have been eating my own food.  That certainly is a reminder of how important it is to prepare my own meals.  That needs to be part of my weekly routine and healthy habits.  No matter how good my choices are when I eat at a restaurant, nothing compares to the healthiness of my own cooking.  I will cook again this Sunday for next week.

12/12/12: Dressed Up for a Party & Thoughts for 2013

Morning Weight:  157.6
This Morning's Exercise: 40 minutes Wii Fit Biggest Loser workout. I just did not want to get out of bed this morning and I most certainly wasn't feeling like going to the gym, but a little something is better than nothing so the Biggest Loser disc got popped into the Wii.  It is a light workout, but there are a lot of stretches and different motions that I don't get in my other workouts, so I think it is probably a good thing for me to do once in a while.  So, even though it wasn't a heart pounding routine, it got me moving this morning and helped me do some really nice stretches and yoga poses.
Yesterday Evening's Exercise:  Strength Training with Jeremy Wallen - quite a workout last night.  That's probably why I didn't feel like doing much this morning.
Yesterday's Calories: 1472
Vitamins:  1-A-Day, D, B-Complex, Calcium, Glucosamine

The Christmas party I mentioned over the weekend is this afternoon, so I am wearing the outfit that I bought over the weekend.  Since I didn't take a picture on Sunday, I thought this would be a good opportunity to post my weekly photo.

12/12/2012:  157.6 pounds, 66.4 pounds lost

I weighed a little less this morning and I attribute that to the fact that I am eating only my own cooking this week.  I cooked tofu spinach burgers and a tofu-kale-peanut stew on Sunday and that is what I am taking to work for lunch and eating for dinner.  Both are delicious and jammed full of veggies and other good stuff.  I am also eating my calories earlier in the day and eating most of my carbs in the morning.  Other than that, everything is about the same.  Exercising a lot, drinking plenty of water, trying to eat as close to 1500 calories a day as possible.

I have given a lot of thought to my original goals and what is truly important to me.  As any of you that read my blog regularly already know, I have been stressing a lot over reaching 150 pounds by a particular date.  My original goal was 48 weeks from my start date, which worked out to be January 28, 2013.  Then I thought I could move up my goal by 8 weeks to December 3rd, because my trend line for so many weeks was 1.8lbs per week rather than my originally projected 1.5lbs per week.  Then the weight loss slowed down and I decided December 31st was more realistic.  Alas, this last 10 pounds is turning out to be 10 times harder than the 10 pounds before it (quoting Ruth) and December 31st isn't going to happen.  OK, I said to myself, perhaps my original target date of January 28, 2013 was the right goal date, after all.

As I have blogged about my frustrations some of you reminded me about other aspects of my goal...my true goals, actually, not "the number on the scale" goal.  What this is really all about is exactly what I have been calling this from day one, "My Get Fit Initiative."  This has never been about weighing a certain number on the scale, this has always been about being healthy, fit, and active so that I can live a long life, feel great, and do the physically active things I enjoy doing.  Losing weight and keeping that weight off for the rest of my life is certainly a part, a big part, of that goal.  But there is a lot more to it, too.  And I am so much closer to that goal than I was 9 months ago. 

The progress I've made has been tremendous.  Yes, I've lost 66.4 pounds.  I've also gone from a 1X/2X top to a medium and from size 18 jeans to an 8.  I am wearing size 6 underwear, for goodness sake!  For most of my life a wore a 7, then those got to small and I had to wear an 8.  Now, sixes fit best.  I can't ever remember buying size 6 undies, before.  I was wearing a size 42DDD bra and about 20 pounds ago I bought 36DD bras, and now those are getting too big.  Soon, I will probably be buying 34D or 34DD bras.  Quite frankly, I feel good about the way I feel and the way I look in my clothes.  I want to lose this last 7 pounds, but it doesn't have to come off tomorrow for me to feel good about myself and the way I look.

On a fitness level, my progress is even more impressive.  When I started my Get Fit Initiative I walked most of my four mile route and the part that I did jog was very difficult.  The first time I got in the pool I could swim four laps freestyle, before I had to swim breast stroke or side stroke to rest.  Now I can run 6.5 miles without walking any of it and I can swim 2000 meters.  If I run short distances I can average 6mph instead of 5mph.  I can even keep up a pace of 6.5mph for short distances, though I can only handle 7mph for a minute.  8 months ago a 10th of a mile at 6.0mph was incredibly difficult.  Now I can maintain that pace for 4 miles.  I couldn't do 3 tricep dips when I started working out with Jeremy, now I can do 20 or more.  I couldn't do a single push-up and now I can do 10.  Wall sits used to kill my legs and I was trembling after 15 seconds, now they are pretty routine.  I have gotten much, much stronger.  I don't have resting heart rate stats, but I am sure that has improved, too.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I am going to try to stop stressing so much about 7 or 8 pounds.  The new year is quickly approaching and I am ready to set new goals for the new year.  To put it bluntly, I am tired of focusing on losing weight and I am ready to focus on fitness, strength, and endurance.  Weight is something I can never and will never ignore.  But I want the maintenance of my weight to be a side-effect of my fitness plan, instead of fitness being a side-effect of my weight-loss plan.  I am not saying this is going to be easy for me; in fact, I think it is going to be incredibly difficult, but as of January 1, no matter how much I weigh, I am going to end phase 1 (weight loss phase) and begin phase 2 (focus on fitness phase) of my Get Fit Initiative. 

I'm about out of time for this blog post, but phase 2 will include goals like competing in my first triathlon, being able to do a certain number of push-ups, being able to do 1 pull-up, reducing body fat to a certain %, etc...  I need to think about those goals and decide what they are, but that is the direction that I am thinking about.

I have also started thinking about another important set of goals for 2013; all of those things that are talked about in the last 3rd of the Younger Next Year book.  I'll need to drag the book back out refresh my memory, but they center around being committed to and connected to people and causes that are important to me.  They are about being engaged, on a meaningful level, to something outside of my own head.  The transition to my new job in 2013 was huge.  As I settle into that in the coming year, I hope to have energy to focus on other things as well.

I appreciate all of your support, thoughts, suggestions, encouragement, and ideas.  Thank you for being part of my team by following my blog.  It makes a difference, just knowing there are people out there reading.  It really does.