The trainer that I have been working with for more than a year has finally gotten out of reach for me. First, he switched gyms. After working out with a different trainer at 24 Hour Fitness and not being happy with that, I switched gyms, too; and followed Jeremy to Aspen in Lee's Summit. Aspen is a brand new gym, so it is all sparkly and clean and the equipment is new and that is nice. It really is a lot more pleasant to go to a clean, well equipped, roomy gym. Aspen also has racquetball courts which has been great. Jack and I enjoy going to the gym together on the weekends, playing racquetball and following the game up with a workout. I like having Jack being part of my exercise regimen. Also, since the gym was not even open yet when we joined, we got a great deal. The monthly gym membership plus an hour a week of training is less expensive than just the training was at 24. So even though I have kept my 24Hour membership so that I would have access to the pool and a gym that is open early and late close to home, I am spending less money than I was when I just belonged to 24Hour and trained there.
All of that said, the real reason I joined Aspen was so I could continue to work with Jeremy, which I did until things changed. First, Jeremy got promoted at the Aspen in Lee's Summit. That changed things a bit. Because of his promotion he stopped doing personal training sessions, except for working with the few people who followed him to Aspen, of which I was one. Because of the promotion and his new responsibilities, I could tell he was less focused on Personal Training. OK...I could deal with that. Then he got promoted again and moved to the Olathe Aspen a couple of weeks ago. After a couple of weeks of radio silence and waiting somewhat impatiently for him to work his schedule out, I decided to start training with someone else, so I signed up to start working with Joshua. This morning was our first workout together. Jeremy did text yesterday to say he was looking for someone that would "fit my schedule," meaning a trainer that would take 5AM sessions. It turns out that yesterday Jeremy started talking to Joshua about working with me, so when I walked in this morning, Joshua at least knew who I was.
We had a good work out this morning. We talked about my fitness goals, which I have decided should be pretty basic. I told him that I had given up on the idea of measuring body fat because it was such an inexact science. It's too hard to have reducing body fat % as a goal if I can't measure it accurately. I told him that I am training for the triathlon and that I want to be very fit. I told him that I want to be able to do a pull-up by the end of the year, so that is my one measurable fitness goal. I'd like to continue to improve my overall strength and get as fit as I can by the end of the year. We talked about working on core, stabilizers, and balance; all of which are important to me. I decided that I would like to go back to 3 full body strength training workouts a week, rather than 2 upper body and 2 lower body. The extra strength training session was sapping my schedule and I felt like I wasn't getting enough cardio in for my tri training. And I like the full body workouts better, anyway. So today we had a good, yet difficult, full body workout session. For a first session together, it went pretty well. Now I have to re-write my schedule for the next four weeks, but that is OK. I'll try to get that done, tonight.
Onward and upward! I wish Jeremy the best of luck in his new position! Joshua and I will do just fine together!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
3/11/13: We Did a Little Shopping Yesterday
As of yesterday morning I had no spring clothes that fit. Well, I owned two t-shirts that I have purchased in the last 6 months, but that was it. The rest of my warm weather clothes had been given away, donated to Goodwill, or tossed out it it was in too bad of shape. Everything else I own is a sweater or warm winter clothes of some sort. Now that the weather is starting to hint at getting warm, it's time for me to get serious about doing some clothes shopping. There is something that is kind of fun about shopping when I really need the clothes. I don't have to feel bad about spending the money. It's obvious that I need to shop.
We got lucky and ended up at Macy's when they were having a 50% off sale. I think everything we purchased there yesterday was half off. I ended up with 4 pairs of pants, 3 shirts and a jean jacket for about $250. Not too bad. Then we stopped in Abercrombie and Fitch, in spite of the ridiculously loud music, and I found a couple of light spring sweaters that I liked. The most fun part of the shopping trip was the sizes that I was trying on. I started out trying on size 8 pants. They were all too big. So I started trying on the sixes. For the most part, they fit and that is what I bought. But the last pair of pants I tried on was a cropped pair of jeans. I grabbed a size 6, confident that the pants would fit, and they were too....BIG! I was stunned as I walked out of the dressing room and to the rack to see if they had a size 4. There was a size 4 on the rack, I picked them up, took them to the dressing room in disbelief, tried them on, and they fit perfectly! Yesterday, I bought a size 4 pair of pants! Unbelievable. I am still sort of in shock. Yes, they are in the ladies section, not the junior section. There is no way I could get in to those low rise, skinny legged jeans that girls wear in a size 4, or even a 6 for that matter, but yesterday I bought an honest to God size 4 pair of pants in the ladies' department at Macy's. It felt good!
As I was trying on tops, I started feeling like they were a little looser than I wanted them to be. They were mediums, and they fit OK, but not great. So I got brave and picked one of the tops out in a small. I tried it on and it fit better than the medium did. A small? You have got to be kidding me. With the exception of one shirt, all of the smalls fit better than the mediums. This is actually taking a little getting used to. I'm wearing a size 4 or a size 6 pair of pants and a small top; I am a small person. When did that happen? Wow! The exercise continues to make a difference.
Between daylight savings time and being worried about my work, I did not sleep well last night, so I decided to take today off for exercise. I missed last week's day off because I ended up doing my cycling on my lunch hour on Thursday to get caught up. I needed a whole day off, so I am taking it today. It will be good to rest. Yesterday I played racquetball with Jack and did a lower body workout. I came very close to winning our last game! I started out the game with something like a 9 - 0 advantage. Jack started playing his heart out and slowly closed the gap. I finally got 19 points while he had 17, but after that he did not miss a shot and he ended up winning the game, 21 - 19. But I gave him a run for his money and I am starting to close the skill gap a little. The game was a lot of fun. My elbow hurts a little from playing though. I'm probably taking too many big swings at the ball, some of which I miss. I am guessing that that is what is hurting my elbow. I hope that as I improve, that soreness will go away.
I continue to avoid Dead Foods. Reading 'Thinner This Year' is helping. As we were walking through the grocery store the sweets and treats were not even tempting. I actually saw them as poison as we were walking through the aisles. It sure makes it a lot easier to eat the Good Stuff when you see the Dead Foods in that light. This morning I weighed 150.2 pounds. Almost back to my 150 goal. That will be my baseline from now on, rather than the 153 that I have gravitated towards since the middle of January.
We got lucky and ended up at Macy's when they were having a 50% off sale. I think everything we purchased there yesterday was half off. I ended up with 4 pairs of pants, 3 shirts and a jean jacket for about $250. Not too bad. Then we stopped in Abercrombie and Fitch, in spite of the ridiculously loud music, and I found a couple of light spring sweaters that I liked. The most fun part of the shopping trip was the sizes that I was trying on. I started out trying on size 8 pants. They were all too big. So I started trying on the sixes. For the most part, they fit and that is what I bought. But the last pair of pants I tried on was a cropped pair of jeans. I grabbed a size 6, confident that the pants would fit, and they were too....BIG! I was stunned as I walked out of the dressing room and to the rack to see if they had a size 4. There was a size 4 on the rack, I picked them up, took them to the dressing room in disbelief, tried them on, and they fit perfectly! Yesterday, I bought a size 4 pair of pants! Unbelievable. I am still sort of in shock. Yes, they are in the ladies section, not the junior section. There is no way I could get in to those low rise, skinny legged jeans that girls wear in a size 4, or even a 6 for that matter, but yesterday I bought an honest to God size 4 pair of pants in the ladies' department at Macy's. It felt good!
As I was trying on tops, I started feeling like they were a little looser than I wanted them to be. They were mediums, and they fit OK, but not great. So I got brave and picked one of the tops out in a small. I tried it on and it fit better than the medium did. A small? You have got to be kidding me. With the exception of one shirt, all of the smalls fit better than the mediums. This is actually taking a little getting used to. I'm wearing a size 4 or a size 6 pair of pants and a small top; I am a small person. When did that happen? Wow! The exercise continues to make a difference.
Between daylight savings time and being worried about my work, I did not sleep well last night, so I decided to take today off for exercise. I missed last week's day off because I ended up doing my cycling on my lunch hour on Thursday to get caught up. I needed a whole day off, so I am taking it today. It will be good to rest. Yesterday I played racquetball with Jack and did a lower body workout. I came very close to winning our last game! I started out the game with something like a 9 - 0 advantage. Jack started playing his heart out and slowly closed the gap. I finally got 19 points while he had 17, but after that he did not miss a shot and he ended up winning the game, 21 - 19. But I gave him a run for his money and I am starting to close the skill gap a little. The game was a lot of fun. My elbow hurts a little from playing though. I'm probably taking too many big swings at the ball, some of which I miss. I am guessing that that is what is hurting my elbow. I hope that as I improve, that soreness will go away.
I continue to avoid Dead Foods. Reading 'Thinner This Year' is helping. As we were walking through the grocery store the sweets and treats were not even tempting. I actually saw them as poison as we were walking through the aisles. It sure makes it a lot easier to eat the Good Stuff when you see the Dead Foods in that light. This morning I weighed 150.2 pounds. Almost back to my 150 goal. That will be my baseline from now on, rather than the 153 that I have gravitated towards since the middle of January.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
3/10/2013: Focus, Focus, Focus
It seems like when the world starts swirling around me in the massive cacophony of noise I start seeking out little things I can control so I feel like I can hang onto something and not get sucked into the vortex of craziness around me (while fully acknowledging that I had something to do with creating the craziness in the first place).
I started reading 'Thinner This Year,' by Chris Crowley and Jen Saheck, Ph.D., this week. This book takes a similar approach to not being fat as 'Younger Next Year' took to exercising every day. This book is more focused on nutrition, while the first book was focused primarily on exercise. The doctors Chris partnered with have different specialties. Jen Saheck specializes in nutrition.
I like 'Younger Next Year' better than I like this book. I'm not sure if that is because I am now a little tired of Chris Crowley or if it is because I really like Dr. Henry Lodge and I miss him a little bit, or if it is because I so needed to hear 'Younger Next Year's' message that it just spoke to me. I don't feel like I am learning as much from this book as I did from 'Younger.' On the other hand, reading 'Thinner' is helping me get refocused on why I am doing all of this in the first place.
Basically, Jen says that being fat is bad. I mean, really bad. She goes into detail why being fat is bad. She talks with frustration about the "levels of nonsense and downright deception about diet and exercise that the average person in the country encounters." Her goal in writing this book is to provide accurate information to the reader about the impact of eating what she calls "Dead Food" and being fat, vs. eating the "Good Stuff" and being at a healthy weight. She feels there is a desperate need for accuracy and truth, so she provides a lot of scientific evidence about nutrition and, to a lesser extent, exercise; while slamming the "boloney fed to Americans about nutrition and weight loss: do-nothing diet pills, "miracle" supplements, "eat everything" diets, "eat nothing" diets, four-minutes-a-week exercise regimes - easy "solutions" that are nothing of the sort."
There are a few things I learned from the book already. First, she talks about the inflammation cycle that occurs in the body when you eat Dead Foods. I can't remember the details off the cuff, but basically your body releases too many inflammatory signals when you eat the wrong things and those signals mess with all of the cells in your body. Then she talks about the fact that fat is not an inert substance in your body. Fat is actually a living organ that is constantly sending out these inflammatory signals. This is one of the reasons that belly fat, in particular, is so bad. That fat is wrapped around the internal organs, exposing those organs to all of these inflammatory signals and chemicals. This is not a good thing. Jen goes into quite a bit of detail about what happens chemically and physically when we eat well vs. poorly. I can tell I am going to have to start re-reading the book to be able to report back with any accuracy on this blog. Suffice it to say, for now, that reading the book has me recommitted to staying thin for my long-term health.
In that vein, I have recommitted to being 150 pounds and to not eating food that isn't good for me. I confess that when I reached my goal weight I was tired of watching every last thing I put in my mouth and I got a little lazy and sporadic about my food. I snacked more, ate healthy foods a little less. My weight stabilized around 153 and I rationalized that that was OK. But as I read this book I am reminded that every pound does count. I am also reminded of how important it is to eat the Good Stuff and not eat Dead Food, at least not on a regular basis. A few days ago, I recommitted to eating the Good Stuff and avoiding Dead Food. You can see the result on my chart:
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| 3/10/2013 Chart |
It is kind of obvious that the main focus of this chart is exercise, but I am charting my weight, too. You can see that my weight has centered around 153 since mid-January with a spike to 155 last week when all hell was breaking loose around me. Then, in the middle of last week I started reading 'Thinner This Year' and look what happened. I lost almost 4 pounds. How? I stopped snacking on junk and focused on eating healthy foods, only. Really, it was easy. I just had to decide to do it. For two months I have thought about this, rationalized this and that, made little excuses for myself, and just been non-committal towards this particular issue. On Wednesday I made a commitment to myself and I see the results immediately. As Caden would say, "That's a Humph!" I am pleased with my renewed commitment to eating the Good Stuff and avoiding Dead Foods. I am OK with the occasional celebratory meal or party, but day-in and day-out eating needs to be healthy choices 99.9% of the time.
I am very excited about the rest of this chart. It turns out that marking my chart after I exercise is part of the reward that I really crave. It feels good to finish the week and see that I have completed 100% of my exercise goals for the week. It is easy to exercise when I look at my schedule and can see what I am supposed to do today. I love this chart. I think the bar graph at the bottom is a lot of fun. It indicates what % of scheduled swimming, biking, running, upper body, and lower body workouts I got done each week. Week 8 was great! In spite of the uber-load of stress, I got all of my exercise in. It helps a lot!! The exercise, I mean. It does help me manage the stress and feel like I have control of at least some of the things in my life.
OK - enough of the heavy stuff. Jack and I have had a little fun in the last couple of weeks. As most of you know, we had a couple of huge snows. How big? Check out this snow bank beside our driveway:
I asked Jack to lay on it to give you some perspective. Yes, I counted shoveling that snow as exercise in week 7.
After shoveling the driveway we made a snow woman. Here we are:
I know she looks a little angry, I think it is the eyebrows that do it. But really, she was happy to be with us! We had a blast playing in the snow. I even made a snow angel...my first in decades, I think.
It's about noon and I am still in my PJs. I need some spring clothes that fit, so I am going to sign off for now and do some shopping with Jack. Have a great day!
Friday, March 8, 2013
3/8/2013: Checking In
It's been a crazy couple of mornings. This morning I had to run out the door for a 7:45 meeting and did not have time to put up a post. But for those of you that may check in on me daily, I wanted to let you know that I'm doing OK.
We are finding solutions to some of the issues at work, Steve is hanging in there, and I finally managed to make it to the gym at lunch yesterday! As of today, I am caught up with my exercise chart for the week. I did not get up early to exercise this morning. I was just plain tired. I will do an upper body workout at home this evening. Then all I will have left for the week is a 38 minute bike ride and a 5 mile run (tomorrow is the last day of my week). I hope to get to the gym at lunch today for the 38 minute bike ride and I will definitely do the 5 mile run tomorrow. If I don't get the bike ride in today, I will do it tomorrow, along with the run.
I am reading 'Thinner This Year,' a follow-up to 'Younger Next Year' that focuses on the physiological impacts of one's diet and of being overweight, the same way 'Younger Next Year' talked about the physiological impact of daily exercise. I am reading it to reaffirm my commitment to healthy eating and maintaining my weight. So far it is interesting. I will write more about it this weekend.
I'm at work, so I gotta run. Have a great Friday!!
We are finding solutions to some of the issues at work, Steve is hanging in there, and I finally managed to make it to the gym at lunch yesterday! As of today, I am caught up with my exercise chart for the week. I did not get up early to exercise this morning. I was just plain tired. I will do an upper body workout at home this evening. Then all I will have left for the week is a 38 minute bike ride and a 5 mile run (tomorrow is the last day of my week). I hope to get to the gym at lunch today for the 38 minute bike ride and I will definitely do the 5 mile run tomorrow. If I don't get the bike ride in today, I will do it tomorrow, along with the run.
I am reading 'Thinner This Year,' a follow-up to 'Younger Next Year' that focuses on the physiological impacts of one's diet and of being overweight, the same way 'Younger Next Year' talked about the physiological impact of daily exercise. I am reading it to reaffirm my commitment to healthy eating and maintaining my weight. So far it is interesting. I will write more about it this weekend.
I'm at work, so I gotta run. Have a great Friday!!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
3/6/2013: Let's just say I've had better days...
Yes, it is true. I've had better days. Sometimes it all just piles up and all I want to do is crawl under the covers and wait for it to all be over, but that is not an option. Between work being super difficult right now and being worried about Steven, I just seem to be having trouble staying positive and upbeat. I've eaten more in the evenings than normal, which has led me to being at 155 for a couple days in a row. I need to mark my chart tomorrow morning, so that is motivation to super careful about drinking water and evening eating today. Thank goodness I still have my chart.
Actually, thank goodness I still have several things. In spite of feeling really down for this last week, there are enough aspects of my daily life that are working well to keep me sane. I am exercising every day and keeping track of my exercise on my log. That brings me a sense of satisfaction and I feel the tangible benefit in my body and mood. I cooked on Sunday so I have homemade meals for my lunches and Jack has something to eat for dinner. Jack loves me and supports me, no matter what. Our home is a safe haven, the value of which is indescribable. I am coaching Julie and now supporting Carla in their own Get Fit Initiatives. They keep me inspired and on my game and helping them achieve success brings me great joy. I have started making our bed every morning and putting away all of my clothes every day instead of letting them pile up all week. This is a new "keystone habit" I am trying develop after reading 'The Power of Habit.' I can't tell you how much my messy bedroom would start to bother me by the end of the week and after reading that book I realized this is one habit I can change today that will likely trigger an avalanche of other habits. It's already started, in fact. This morning I noticed that I didn't walk past some little things that I would normally walk right past. Well, I did walk past them the first time, but then I turned around and took care of them. It took two seconds. They are really little things (like shutting a door to a room we don't use to save on heat) but they are things I would have walked past 10 times, before today. I've got my sister who called to chat the other day, to remind me of all of the things I needed to be reminded of, and many other loving and supportive people in my life. I feel great, physically, even if emotionally I am struggling right now. It's all going to be OK. I know that. I just feel blah. Ah, these are the days that I just have to keep on keeping on!!
Actually, thank goodness I still have several things. In spite of feeling really down for this last week, there are enough aspects of my daily life that are working well to keep me sane. I am exercising every day and keeping track of my exercise on my log. That brings me a sense of satisfaction and I feel the tangible benefit in my body and mood. I cooked on Sunday so I have homemade meals for my lunches and Jack has something to eat for dinner. Jack loves me and supports me, no matter what. Our home is a safe haven, the value of which is indescribable. I am coaching Julie and now supporting Carla in their own Get Fit Initiatives. They keep me inspired and on my game and helping them achieve success brings me great joy. I have started making our bed every morning and putting away all of my clothes every day instead of letting them pile up all week. This is a new "keystone habit" I am trying develop after reading 'The Power of Habit.' I can't tell you how much my messy bedroom would start to bother me by the end of the week and after reading that book I realized this is one habit I can change today that will likely trigger an avalanche of other habits. It's already started, in fact. This morning I noticed that I didn't walk past some little things that I would normally walk right past. Well, I did walk past them the first time, but then I turned around and took care of them. It took two seconds. They are really little things (like shutting a door to a room we don't use to save on heat) but they are things I would have walked past 10 times, before today. I've got my sister who called to chat the other day, to remind me of all of the things I needed to be reminded of, and many other loving and supportive people in my life. I feel great, physically, even if emotionally I am struggling right now. It's all going to be OK. I know that. I just feel blah. Ah, these are the days that I just have to keep on keeping on!!
Monday, March 4, 2013
3/4/2013: Weakness in the Analogy
OK, so there is a slight weakness in my analogy about putting gas in your car and food in your body. Your car has a fuel gauge and your body doesn't. Wouldn't that be cool though, if you had a little meter on the back of your hand that let you know that you are running out of your fuel supply and it is time to stock up? (I am thinking about Ultraman right now and the red light that starts beeping on his chest when he needs energy and has to fly to the sun to get it.) And then, as you're eating, the needle on the gauge would slowly move up until you had eaten enough calories for the next 4 - 6 hours of activity. I think that would be super cool! Take all the measuring and weighing and guess work out of it. Just eat until the meter says you've had enough and stop! Alas, our bodies are wonderful but they don't have that feature. That is the best reason I can think of for weighing myself every day. I can measure and calculate and guesstimate calories in and calories out, but the only sure way I have of knowing if I am eating too much or eating too little is checking every morning to see how much I weigh. When I eat more calories than I burn, I gain weight. When I eat fewer calories than I burn, I lose weight. It's that simple. I don't have a gas gauge that tells me if I am eating too much right now, but I do have a scale that tells me if I ate too much yesterday. My scale is my retrospective gas gauge. It works for me. 155.0 pounds? Oops, your emotional stress got the best of you over the weekend and you lost focus on your caloric intake. You've stored a little extra, so it's time to cut back a little and get back in balance. Yes, it works for me.
It is time for me to update my recommended reading list. It has been a while. When I do update my reading list I am going to add, 'The Power of Habit,' by Charles Duhigg. It is an excellent book. Jen, I could barely put it down. It is a very compelling and motivational book because it puts your habits into context. It defines the components of habits and helps you identify those parts of the habit cycle you need to alter if you want to change a habit. I found it fascinating and appreciate the recommendation. It's extremely well written and an easy read. If you have any curiosity about habits and how to change them, I heartily endorse this book!
It is time for me to update my recommended reading list. It has been a while. When I do update my reading list I am going to add, 'The Power of Habit,' by Charles Duhigg. It is an excellent book. Jen, I could barely put it down. It is a very compelling and motivational book because it puts your habits into context. It defines the components of habits and helps you identify those parts of the habit cycle you need to alter if you want to change a habit. I found it fascinating and appreciate the recommendation. It's extremely well written and an easy read. If you have any curiosity about habits and how to change them, I heartily endorse this book!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
3/3/2013: A Couple of Rough Days
Steven and Carla came into town on Thursday to join with the family and friends of Kyle Hickman and celebrate his life. Kyle was Steven's best friend He was shot and killed by a friend of his, who then killed himself. The memorial service was yesterday and story after story was told about Kyle and how he has touched so many lives. I knew Kyle through Steven. I'd met Kyle many times, of course, when he'd come by the house as he and Steven were growing up, by I knew him through the stories Steven has told me over the years. It was fascinating to hear the stories others told yesterday and it gave me a better appreciation for why Steven and Kyle were such good friends. Steven has been hit hard by Kyle's death. I'm worried about him but have no idea what I can do to help. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming at the moment. I've told Steven I am here for him, no matter what. I think he knows that. Other than that, I'm not sure what else I can do. I was able to have a conversation with Kyle's mom yesterday and my heart was breaking for her. I pray for everyone whose lives were touched by Kyle, that they all will heal from their sorrow and heart break and that the love and memories they have for Kyle will keep them warm for the rest of their lives.
After the service Jack, Carla and I headed home so Carla could pack and we could get her to the airport in time for her 6:00 flight. In spite of the sad reason for her visit, it was good to touch base with Carla again. She is struggling with developing healthy routines while she is in Vale, so we talked a lot about habits (thanks for the book tip, Jen, it's helped a lot already) and how to substitute one behavior for another, while keeping the same cue and reward. For one particular time of her day we were able to identify the cue, coming home from work after a long day; the behavior, eating until her tummy feels full; and the reward, feeling comforted and hugged by her full tummy. We know she will be coming home from work every day, so the cue is not going to go away, so we needed to think of another behavior that would help attain the same sense of comfort or stress release that she gets from having a full stomach. Of course she needs to eat at the end of the day, but one of the habits Carla developed when she was dieting was eating a ton of very low calorie food, so that when she was done eating she would feel stuffed. That stuffed feeling was what she craved, so she never got used to eating just to fuel herself, even when she was eating fewer calories she was eating a ton of food so she could get satisfaction from feeling full.
Carla loves to make art projects, and she is quite talented. She made her boyfriend a walking stick for Valentine's Day that turned out really well. When she is working on projects like this she is transported to a different place and completely relaxes and de-stresses. She gets the same sense of calm by being outdoors. She doesn't do well being trapped inside. So she decided to replace the behavior of eating until she was full with working on making walking sticks to sell. She'll still come home and eat, but she will eat a predetermined amount of food that satisfies her body's need for fuel. Then she will spend her time sanding sticks, carving inscriptions, varnishing, etc... Doing what she loves to do. This will give her the same reward that she got from eating too much. A sense of calm and comfort. I look forward to hearing how it goes.
It is interesting how comforting the sense of being full really is. I am almost never full. I just don't eat that much food anymore. I eat the calories I know I need and stop eating. I'm not saying I never eat food that isn't particularly good for me, I still eat my dark chocolate and tootsie pops for little treats, but I almost never eat until I'm full. I can count on one hand the number of times that I have done that in the last year and one of those times was Friday night. I was so worried about Steve and so sad about Kyle that I just started eating and didn't stop. About the same time that Jack said something to me about it, I realized that my stomach was starting to feel full and that that was the feeling that I was looking for; that fully tummy feeling. Something about having a full tummy is very comforting. I don't know what it is. I don't look for it very often, but every now and then, when I am feeling very, very stressed or sad or both, the full tummy feeling is exactly what I want. The biggest difference between now and previous periods in my life is that when I do eat too much, I stop as soon as I feel full and then I'm done. I wake up in the morning, weigh myself, put on my running shoes, and go to the gym. Yes, it would be better if I never used food to medicate myself, but my new attitude about food and exercise keep those moments from really damaging me. They do not turn into an entire day of binging; every "binge eating" moment that I have had in the last year lasted a very short period of time, perhaps 30 minutes or an hour. They have never spilled into the next day. I never wake up and say, "Oh, I blew it, I may as well give up." I've woken up the next day, wondered why I needed to feel full last night, and got right back into the habits that I know truly make me feel good; exercising and eating a reasonable number of calories. The real reward is feeling good, all day, every day. The fact is, when I over eat I feel good for a fleeting moment, while I am eating and for that moment afterwards when my belly is full and I feel like I am wrapped up in a whole body hug. But that feeling is fleeting, sort of like riding a roller coaster and experiencing the joy and excitement of going down a big hill. You know how that is exhilarating but fleeting. Overeating brings the same rush, but it's not happiness. When I exercise I may not get that rush that I get from overeating, but the feeling of comfort and happiness that I get from exercise lasts all day and night. It brings real and lasting happiness into my life. Part of it is how I look. I don't have to squeeze into my size 16 jeans and feel fat. That's nice. But it is more about how I feel. I'm full of energy, joy and zest for life. That comes from the exercise. I would rather have that then the fleeting cozy comfort of a full belly, any day.
Julie had a great first week on her new plan. I get great joy from reading her blog and texting her and hearing how well she is doing with her renewed commitment to her lifetime achievement initiative. She is examining her relationship with food and thinking about the number of food decisions she makes everyday. She blogged about how she decided to take my advice one day and make her food decisions for the day in the morning. When she went to lunch with a friend, she did not even open the menu, she had already decided what she was going to order. She said she did not have to struggle with the decision not to order the higher calorie options, she could just enjoy the company of her friend. I thought that was awesome!
I hear that again, and again, and again. I talk to so many people who are trying to lose weight and they all want to know how they can stop thinking about food all of the time. It's a real struggle and certainly something I struggled with as I was changing my habits. I really had to change my relationship with food. It had to stop being something that brought me pleasure, either by feeding myself or by feeding other people, and become something that fueled my body. Nothing more or less exciting than the gasoline that I put in my car. I use that analogy a lot now. What happens when you keep pushing on the gas dispenser lever after your tank is full? Gas spills on the pavement. Do I do that, keep trying to put more fuel in the car after the tank is full? No, that would be stupid. Well, it is just as stupid for me to keep putting food in my mouth beyond my body's capacity to turn it into energy in the next several hours. It spills out, too. It spills out in the form of fat on my hips, my belly, under my chin, and onto my thighs. It really is that simple. It's easier to see when that gasoline that we pay $3 - $4 a gallon is spilling onto the ground. But heck, food is more expensive than gas these days, so even from a purely economical perspective it's nuts to eat more food than we need. And it's not good for our bodies. Plain and simple.
But beyond trying to develop this attitude about food = fuel, I do think it is important to limit the number of decision we have to make about food every day. If a person is struggling to lose weight and has a history of over eating or eating the wrong food, every opportunity to make a food decision is difficult. Most food decisions end in no, you can't do that. It feels like punishment for being fat. It feels like denial. It just feels bad. "Oh, I really want that but I can't have it." That does not feel good. It's a struggle to get through a day if thousands of times a day you think about that snack machine in the break room and thousands of times a day you say no. You don't get a mini-celebration for each successful decision. Instead, the one time you say to yourself, "Oh, OK, you can have one candy bar," you punish yourself for slipping. For being bad. Hell, even I call it being naughty. It's crazy.
So, it makes sense to limit your decision making to once a day. Before going to bed at night or before you start eating in the morning, make all of your food decision. Write it down. Carry the list with you, if you have to. Instead of making thousands of decisions a day, you make them all in the morning. If it's not on the list, you don't eat it. Done. It frees you up to think about other things.
This methodology certainly helps me with being consistent about exercise. I have my exercise schedule on my bathroom wall. Before I go to bed I consult it and mentally check off what I am going to do the next day. Then when I wake up, I put on my shoes and go. The decision was already made when I made my schedule. All I need to do is execute. It makes it so much easier. Yesterday was a perfect example. For the second Saturday in a row I did not have time to exercise during the day and I was leaving for the gym at 6:00 in the evening. But that was OK. I knew what I needed to do. It was on my chart. I had to do it. I was tired and emotionally rung out, but I also knew I needed to exercise. Yesterday, more than I wanted to rest on the couch, I wanted to mark off my chart. So I went to the gym.
Yesterday at the gym I did a little mini-tri. I swam 1500 meters, rode a stationary bike hard for 30 minutes, and did a 2 mile run at 5.5 miles per hour. It was tiring but satisfying, and I got to mark swimming, biking, and running off of my chart. The only thing I missed in week 7 was one of my lower body workouts and given the snowstorm and the kids coming into town, that's not bad.
I weighed 153.0 this morning. I am totally OK with that. In fact, I told Jack yesterday that I seem to be totally OK with anything between 150.0 and 154.8. I am not OK with 155.0. The one time I saw that number in the last two months I immediately started dieting. But as soon as I saw 152.0 again (two days later) I was fine. I have no sense of stress or of feeling "overweight" when I am in this 150 - 154.8 range, so it seems like this is where I am going to live. I am seeing a gradual change in my body shape as I continue to exercise. Muscles are becoming more defined, rolls are becoming smaller, and I feel stronger and more fit. But I don't live for those moments when I see a noticeable change and I don't seek them out. I am exercising as part of my life, it keeps me young and happy. That's the real benefit. Daily exercise gives me the capacity to live a full and vibrant life. There is nothing like it.
After the service Jack, Carla and I headed home so Carla could pack and we could get her to the airport in time for her 6:00 flight. In spite of the sad reason for her visit, it was good to touch base with Carla again. She is struggling with developing healthy routines while she is in Vale, so we talked a lot about habits (thanks for the book tip, Jen, it's helped a lot already) and how to substitute one behavior for another, while keeping the same cue and reward. For one particular time of her day we were able to identify the cue, coming home from work after a long day; the behavior, eating until her tummy feels full; and the reward, feeling comforted and hugged by her full tummy. We know she will be coming home from work every day, so the cue is not going to go away, so we needed to think of another behavior that would help attain the same sense of comfort or stress release that she gets from having a full stomach. Of course she needs to eat at the end of the day, but one of the habits Carla developed when she was dieting was eating a ton of very low calorie food, so that when she was done eating she would feel stuffed. That stuffed feeling was what she craved, so she never got used to eating just to fuel herself, even when she was eating fewer calories she was eating a ton of food so she could get satisfaction from feeling full.
Carla loves to make art projects, and she is quite talented. She made her boyfriend a walking stick for Valentine's Day that turned out really well. When she is working on projects like this she is transported to a different place and completely relaxes and de-stresses. She gets the same sense of calm by being outdoors. She doesn't do well being trapped inside. So she decided to replace the behavior of eating until she was full with working on making walking sticks to sell. She'll still come home and eat, but she will eat a predetermined amount of food that satisfies her body's need for fuel. Then she will spend her time sanding sticks, carving inscriptions, varnishing, etc... Doing what she loves to do. This will give her the same reward that she got from eating too much. A sense of calm and comfort. I look forward to hearing how it goes.
It is interesting how comforting the sense of being full really is. I am almost never full. I just don't eat that much food anymore. I eat the calories I know I need and stop eating. I'm not saying I never eat food that isn't particularly good for me, I still eat my dark chocolate and tootsie pops for little treats, but I almost never eat until I'm full. I can count on one hand the number of times that I have done that in the last year and one of those times was Friday night. I was so worried about Steve and so sad about Kyle that I just started eating and didn't stop. About the same time that Jack said something to me about it, I realized that my stomach was starting to feel full and that that was the feeling that I was looking for; that fully tummy feeling. Something about having a full tummy is very comforting. I don't know what it is. I don't look for it very often, but every now and then, when I am feeling very, very stressed or sad or both, the full tummy feeling is exactly what I want. The biggest difference between now and previous periods in my life is that when I do eat too much, I stop as soon as I feel full and then I'm done. I wake up in the morning, weigh myself, put on my running shoes, and go to the gym. Yes, it would be better if I never used food to medicate myself, but my new attitude about food and exercise keep those moments from really damaging me. They do not turn into an entire day of binging; every "binge eating" moment that I have had in the last year lasted a very short period of time, perhaps 30 minutes or an hour. They have never spilled into the next day. I never wake up and say, "Oh, I blew it, I may as well give up." I've woken up the next day, wondered why I needed to feel full last night, and got right back into the habits that I know truly make me feel good; exercising and eating a reasonable number of calories. The real reward is feeling good, all day, every day. The fact is, when I over eat I feel good for a fleeting moment, while I am eating and for that moment afterwards when my belly is full and I feel like I am wrapped up in a whole body hug. But that feeling is fleeting, sort of like riding a roller coaster and experiencing the joy and excitement of going down a big hill. You know how that is exhilarating but fleeting. Overeating brings the same rush, but it's not happiness. When I exercise I may not get that rush that I get from overeating, but the feeling of comfort and happiness that I get from exercise lasts all day and night. It brings real and lasting happiness into my life. Part of it is how I look. I don't have to squeeze into my size 16 jeans and feel fat. That's nice. But it is more about how I feel. I'm full of energy, joy and zest for life. That comes from the exercise. I would rather have that then the fleeting cozy comfort of a full belly, any day.
Julie had a great first week on her new plan. I get great joy from reading her blog and texting her and hearing how well she is doing with her renewed commitment to her lifetime achievement initiative. She is examining her relationship with food and thinking about the number of food decisions she makes everyday. She blogged about how she decided to take my advice one day and make her food decisions for the day in the morning. When she went to lunch with a friend, she did not even open the menu, she had already decided what she was going to order. She said she did not have to struggle with the decision not to order the higher calorie options, she could just enjoy the company of her friend. I thought that was awesome!
I hear that again, and again, and again. I talk to so many people who are trying to lose weight and they all want to know how they can stop thinking about food all of the time. It's a real struggle and certainly something I struggled with as I was changing my habits. I really had to change my relationship with food. It had to stop being something that brought me pleasure, either by feeding myself or by feeding other people, and become something that fueled my body. Nothing more or less exciting than the gasoline that I put in my car. I use that analogy a lot now. What happens when you keep pushing on the gas dispenser lever after your tank is full? Gas spills on the pavement. Do I do that, keep trying to put more fuel in the car after the tank is full? No, that would be stupid. Well, it is just as stupid for me to keep putting food in my mouth beyond my body's capacity to turn it into energy in the next several hours. It spills out, too. It spills out in the form of fat on my hips, my belly, under my chin, and onto my thighs. It really is that simple. It's easier to see when that gasoline that we pay $3 - $4 a gallon is spilling onto the ground. But heck, food is more expensive than gas these days, so even from a purely economical perspective it's nuts to eat more food than we need. And it's not good for our bodies. Plain and simple.
But beyond trying to develop this attitude about food = fuel, I do think it is important to limit the number of decision we have to make about food every day. If a person is struggling to lose weight and has a history of over eating or eating the wrong food, every opportunity to make a food decision is difficult. Most food decisions end in no, you can't do that. It feels like punishment for being fat. It feels like denial. It just feels bad. "Oh, I really want that but I can't have it." That does not feel good. It's a struggle to get through a day if thousands of times a day you think about that snack machine in the break room and thousands of times a day you say no. You don't get a mini-celebration for each successful decision. Instead, the one time you say to yourself, "Oh, OK, you can have one candy bar," you punish yourself for slipping. For being bad. Hell, even I call it being naughty. It's crazy.
So, it makes sense to limit your decision making to once a day. Before going to bed at night or before you start eating in the morning, make all of your food decision. Write it down. Carry the list with you, if you have to. Instead of making thousands of decisions a day, you make them all in the morning. If it's not on the list, you don't eat it. Done. It frees you up to think about other things.
This methodology certainly helps me with being consistent about exercise. I have my exercise schedule on my bathroom wall. Before I go to bed I consult it and mentally check off what I am going to do the next day. Then when I wake up, I put on my shoes and go. The decision was already made when I made my schedule. All I need to do is execute. It makes it so much easier. Yesterday was a perfect example. For the second Saturday in a row I did not have time to exercise during the day and I was leaving for the gym at 6:00 in the evening. But that was OK. I knew what I needed to do. It was on my chart. I had to do it. I was tired and emotionally rung out, but I also knew I needed to exercise. Yesterday, more than I wanted to rest on the couch, I wanted to mark off my chart. So I went to the gym.
Yesterday at the gym I did a little mini-tri. I swam 1500 meters, rode a stationary bike hard for 30 minutes, and did a 2 mile run at 5.5 miles per hour. It was tiring but satisfying, and I got to mark swimming, biking, and running off of my chart. The only thing I missed in week 7 was one of my lower body workouts and given the snowstorm and the kids coming into town, that's not bad.
I weighed 153.0 this morning. I am totally OK with that. In fact, I told Jack yesterday that I seem to be totally OK with anything between 150.0 and 154.8. I am not OK with 155.0. The one time I saw that number in the last two months I immediately started dieting. But as soon as I saw 152.0 again (two days later) I was fine. I have no sense of stress or of feeling "overweight" when I am in this 150 - 154.8 range, so it seems like this is where I am going to live. I am seeing a gradual change in my body shape as I continue to exercise. Muscles are becoming more defined, rolls are becoming smaller, and I feel stronger and more fit. But I don't live for those moments when I see a noticeable change and I don't seek them out. I am exercising as part of my life, it keeps me young and happy. That's the real benefit. Daily exercise gives me the capacity to live a full and vibrant life. There is nothing like it.
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