Days of abstinence: 17
Days until surgery: 67 (Yikes!)
Weight: 165.6 pounds
On the way to the ball game (ALDS Game 2, Royals vs. Astros)
we were glumly discussing how this was a must win game. If we lost the first two games of a 5 game
series at home, things would look pretty bleak.
A few hours later we were on our feet and cheering the Boys in Blue to a
come from behind victory! Yeah!!! The game was so much fun!! Game 3 is in Houston on Sunday. We are hoping for at least one win in
Houston. If they split in Houston, they’ll
be back in Kansas City for the 5th and final game of the series on
Wednesday. Let’s Go Royals!!
It was an afternoon game so we left the house at about 1:00
after eating a hearty beef stew lunch. I
ate a little more than I normally eat for lunch knowing it would be a while
until we got home for dinner. We also
packed some nuts (cashews and macadamias), an apple and bottled water. I ended up eating some nuts and the apple
about halfway through the game. We got
home at about 7:00 and I ate a small, late dinner. I didn’t eat any off program food yesterday,
but I did eat a little more than I normally eat because of the game. Lunch was probably a serving and a third, the
nuts pack a pretty big caloric punch, and then I ate a smallish dinner. The fact that dinner was late didn’t help
much. I think that all explains the
slight uptick on the scale. I told Jack
that if anyone manages to go to a ballgame and not consume any off program food
or drink they should automatically lose a pound, not gain half a pound!! It’s all good, I’m not worried or
concerned. It’s natural for my weight to
fluctuate a bit during this process. As
long as the week-to-week trend is going in the right direction.
It has been difficult to exercise every morning with my late
nights at work and ball games with rain delays.
I exercised on Monday morning and I don’t think I managed to squeeze
another real workout in until this morning.
That was a little disappointing, but practically unavoidable. The things I could have given up in order to
get a workout in were bowling on Wednesday night or the ball game on Thursday
night. With me working as much as I am
working, my play dates with Jackie are as, if not more, important than a
workout. The flip side is that at least
both of those activities included movement.
Bowling is not exercise, I know that, but at least it’s active. And the ball games include a lot of walking
and stair climbing, particularly when you are seated in the rafters and have to
use the bathroom a couple of times. I
also could have slept less, but I don’t think that is a real option. I need at least six hours of sleep a night
and prefer seven or eight. I’ll cut to
six to get a workout in, but I won’t cut to five. I don’t think that is healthy for me. I’m not going to beat myself up about not
getting more actual workouts in, but it is on my radar screen that I cannot let
too many weeks go by that I only manage to work out three times. This morning (it’s Saturday) I set my alarm
for 5:00am so I would have time to work out, have a leisurely breakfast, put up
a blog post, and put together a grocery list before going to work. I need to be there at 9:00 to meet someone. It seemed almost sacrilegious to set the
alarm on a Saturday morning, but it was necessary. Extreme times call for extreme
measures!! I’ll get a workout in
tomorrow and Monday mornings, for sure.
With any luck at all, I’ll squeeze at least one or two more workouts
into my schedule next week.
Food is a funny thing.
Food is, first and foremost, fuel for a bodies. It is the gasoline that makes our engines
run, but it also provides a lot more than just energy (calories). If calories were all we needed, then it would
be OK to eat candy bars for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But food provides a whole host of essential macro
and micro nutrients that our bodies require to function well. If too many calories are consumed that don’t
contain essential nutrients then we either have to over-eat to get all the
nutrients we need, which leads to weight gain; or not consume enough essential nutrients,
which leads to malnutrition. In the past
I have successfully lost weight by limiting my calories but I wasn’t immune to
swapping a piece of fruit or a potato for a chocolate bar. Those days are gone.
But food is also social.
We eat and drink when we gather with friends or celebrate special
occasions. Food is emotional. We eat and drink to take the edge off our
emotions. Food is comforting. We eat and drink to help us feel sated and
safe. Food is a lot of things.
That’s what makes this difficult. Not difficult, right this minute, but
difficult, long term – as in the rest-of-my-life difficult. I have no doubt that I will be successful in
staying On Program for the next 67 days.
I am in a groove and not even being tempted by off program foods. I think about my upcoming surgery every day
and know that my results will be impacted by my choices over the next couple of
months. I am going to pay a surgeon a
lot of money and I am going to suffer a lot of pain in order to get rid of a
lot of excess skin. It just doesn’t make
sense to invest that time, money and suffering into something and not get the
best results possible. Not eating crap
for 67 days is a minimal inconvenience compared to the trauma of surgery and
writing that check. Nope, the next 67
days (plus the few weeks following surgery) are not going to be the
problem. The problem is going to be the
four decades after that.
Jack and I talked about it on the way to the ballpark yesterday
(that is, when we were not commiserating over that awful loss on Thursday
evening). I rambled on about how
nonsensical it seems to me to ever go off program. I feel amazing right now. After 17 days of 100% on program, I feel
better than I have since the last time I was 100% on program for 17 days (The
first time Jack and I “did the Whole 30” was in February of this year. That time we kept our diet 100% On Program
for 30 days, per the Whole 30 program recommendation.). In spite of the fact that we kept our diet
pretty clean after we completed the Whole 30 last time, we did allow off program
foods to slowly creep back into our diets.
At first, it was just at celebrations.
We enjoyed off program food and wine for my birthday, for example. Then more off program food crept into our
diet. Ice cream made its way back into
our freezer. Dark chocolate edged its
way back into being an after dinner treat.
Before I knew it, I was looking for a quick-fix candy bar at 2 or 3 in
the afternoon on stressful days at work.
It was not long after that that I was eating a candy bar or two every
day (Heck, isn’t every day at work stressful?).
Our meals were still Whole 30, but by mid-summer I was eating some crap
every single day. It showed on the scale
and in my attitude. I was getting a
little crankier and sleeping a little more fitfully. I didn’t really notice these changes since
they were gradual, but they were happening.
I also gained weight.
Now, 17 days into Program, I feel amazing. I am sleeping better. My eyes are clearer. My headaches are gone. I don’t have food cravings. I don’t get ravenous between meals. I wake up happy and clear headed. I am more productive at work. I am more productive at bowling and kickball. My aches and pains are subsiding. My stomach is flatter. It is incredible how good I feel. 53? I’m
53? Really? I feel better than I did at 30. It is such a blessing to be solidly middle
aged and feel this good. I know how
lucky I am. Well, maybe I don’t know
exactly how lucky I am, but I have a good idea that I am pretty damn lucky. Why would I change this? Why would I ever make a choice to eat or
drink something that would make me feel any less good? Isn’t that just plain nuts? Does eating off program food provide anything
other than a fleeting moment of pleasure?
Why would I trade feeling good all of the time for a few moments of
ephemeral “happiness?” I am having
trouble answering that question. Being
On Program is not difficult. Once I
learned where to find recipes that fit my program it was just a matter of
emptying my cupboards of old staples and replacing it with the new ones. I have to cook, but I have always
cooked. I have to pack my lunches, but I
have almost always done that, too. I
have to be careful to plan out activities that will span a meal time, but that
is not a big deal. Really, this isn’t a
hard thing to do, it is just a thing to do.
So what makes this a difficult question?
Will I feel deprived if I choose to never eat or drink off program
again? Yeah, it’s fun to have a couple
glasses of wine now and then. But why is
it fun? I don’t know the answers to
these questions, yet, but I am thinking about them. The good news is that this time I will have
been on program for about 3 – 4 months before even being tempted to go off
program. That is a long time. Maybe by then I’ll feel so damn good that you
couldn’t pay me to go off program. We
shall see.
For now, I’ve got to run.
Jackie needs a grocery list before I go to work so that we will have On
Program food in the fridge this week.
Have a beautiful day!
