4/6/2013: Negligent About Blogging

I enjoy my blog.  It helps me stay focused and on track.  Yet this week I have been negligent about doing any real blogging.  I posted a couple of updates because I know that some people check in everyday, but it feels like I haven't sat down to really write anything for about a week.  It's just been one of those weeks.

It started out with my quick trip to Denver and Vail; which started the whole week of on an awkward footing.  It wouldn't have been so bad except that there is a lot going on at work, right now, that needs my constant attention.  I couldn't let work go for two days, so I was checking emails, got up early on Tuesday morning to work for a couple of hours before meeting the kids for breakfast, and spent a few hours working from the airport Tuesday afternoon.  On Monday evening Carla, Christian, a couple of their friends, and I went bowling, which was fun, but then we dropped Christian off at his house and Carla and I were up almost until midnight, talking.  Well, she was talking and I was fighting to stay awake.  All in all, it was a good trip, but a tiring trip.  I guess the good news is that because Monday started out with a meeting at a vendor's and Tuesday included work in the morning and the evening, I don't have to use a vacation day!  That worked out okay.  I would have rather had the break, though.

Wednesday morning rolled around, dark and early, and I got up and ran.  I had a fantasy about using Thursday to make up for the exercise I missed while in Vail (Thursday is my normal day off because Wednesday is bowling night and we are up late), but I was exhausted and slept in.  Yesterday I got up and worked out with my personal trainer and spent 15 minutes on the stationary bike.  Today is supposed to be a pretty day.  At a minimum I am planning on running outdoors today.  Perhaps I will ride my bike and run.  We'll see.

The we'll see part comes in because I am not feeling well.  Somewhere mid-week I started to feel sick, slightly feverish, and achy.  I don't feel terrible, but I sure don't feel good.  I am glad it is Saturday and I can get some rest.  It's disappointing to feel icky this week after feeling so great last week.  It doesn't seem right to go from feeling like a million bucks to feeling like a wooden nickel, more or less overnight.  I'm hoping it is just because I got too tired and that with some rest and relaxation I start to feel better soon.

I'm not going to get to do too much resting this weekend, though.  There is a lot to do.  I need to finish our taxes (Ouch, Uncle Sam, this one hurts!), get the gardens ready for spring planting, exercise, cook meals (I want to make Jack a big pot of chicken soup and freeze individual portions, I really can't stand coming home and smelling the Campbell's soup he had for dinner, because I know it's not good for him), and I can't remember what else.  I know we have a lot we need to do this weekend, I just can't remember it all at the minute.  I guess that's a good thing.  :)  At least my mind is resting.

I'm still wheat free and intend to stay that way for the rest of my life.  I know I don't feel great this week, but I am pretty certain that is not diet related, I'm pretty sure it a virus that I am battling.  In fact, I would guess that I am battling it more effectively than most given how strong I have been feeling, lately.  One of the things that I have noticed about not eating wheat is that we eat way more vegetables.  Not really on purpose, but kind of on purpose, if that makes any sense.  I am more thoughtful about the vegetables we buy and the vegetables that we have in the house because bread, toast, and crackers are not available as a snack.  I also don't eat chips or other snack foods that you could label as "junk food."  So what do you eat when you want a quick snack?  The answer to that question is veggies, fruit, nuts, or a small portion of leftovers.  More and more often the answer is veggies.  Carrots, peppers, broccoli...whatever happens to be in the fridge is fair game.  Last night's dinner was a roasted chicken from the store, steamed asparagus, and fresh pineapple.  A simple meal, yes, but it tasted good, was easy, and it seemed reasonably nutritious.  It's now the end of the week and the only veggies left in the house are a little bit of broccoli and an onion.  That will end up in this morning's eggs, and then the produce drawers will be empty.  Before we stopped eating wheat, we bought about the same quantity of vegetables, but as often as not we didn't end up eating them and some would get tossed out each week.  I haven't tossed out a vegetable since we stopped eating wheat.  I think it's because the wheat based foods are just so easy to eat.  You come home from work and you're tired and cranky and the easiest thing to do is grab a handful crackers and some hummus for a snack.  They're crunchy, satisfy some sort of cravings, and they're ready made to eat, right out of the box.  Or it is Saturday morning, Jack is still in bed, I want to wait for him to get up to have my breakfast so I make a piece of toast and spread peanut butter on it for a snack.  Easy Peasy and yummy.  All of those pre-cooked, packaged, wheat products are just so dang easy.  They don't need to be washed, peeled, cut up or cooked.  You just open the package and eat.  And they satisfy that craving, which they probably caused in the first place.

So, not eating wheat has changed the way I snack, and I know it's for the better.  After reading Wheat Belly, I don't trust wheat as a food source, anymore.  Even on my "special occasion" days, I won't eat wheat.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  First, I am very curious about the health benefits Dr. Davis claims I may reap from not eating wheat, and I think it will be several weeks or a couple of months before I notice them all.  I've already noticed some things, like increased energy and being more "regular."  I'm looking forward to having less pain in my joints and an improved look to my skin, as well.  I don't want to blow it by succumbing to a craving for bread.  It's just not that important to me.  Second, I am pretty convinced that Dr. Davis was correct when he said that wheat has an addictive quality to it, associated with the opiate receptors in our brains.  I did a little research on the Internet and found some more articles on the subject, which are pretty convincing.  I don't want to risk introducing that element into my diet on an occasional basis just for...what exactly?  Seems completely unnecessary to me.  Wheat is done.

That said, I did have a not so good food day yesterday.  I was sick and tired and just didn't feel great.  I ended up eating some cinnamon discs at work (hard candy) and some ice cream after dinner.  This is the first Dead Food that I have had in weeks.  I don't know why I ate it, but I did.  Well, it's because I was sick.  I had to push through the day yesterday at work and get a lot done in spite of feeling crappy.  By mid-afternoon, I had used up all my reserves just pretending like I felt OK.  I ran out of energy before I ran out of work day.  That's what happened.

The good news is that today I have no cravings for more crap.  I feel more rested, I think I feel a little better - perhaps I am on the upswing, and I am confident that I will be back on track with regard to food, today.

I am grappling with a decision regarding my weight.  I know you all are tired of hearing about this issue and some of you think I over-think everything that has anything to do with how much I weigh, and I don't blame you for feeling that way.  I probably do over-think it, but after a lifetime of fighting my weight, the issue of my weight does not go away just because I am no longer fat.  I do believe that there will be a day that I don't think about how much I weigh very often, but that day is not here, yet.  It's funny, I almost feel stupid for even writing about this, but it's been on my mind, and it seems like I should just get it out there.

I am getting ready to make my 2nd quarter 2013 chart.  Tomorrow is the last day of my first chart for 2013.  I'll be making my next chart either today or tomorrow.  As I am getting ready to make my new chart I am thinking about what my goals are for the next 12 weeks.  Of course, I am still training for the triathlon, so the chart will still focus on exercise.  But the other component is, where do I want to be with my weight?  I've thought about this a lot and I know what I want.  I want my max weight, for life, to be 150.0 pounds.  That means I need to lose this couple of pounds that I have been grappling with for the last 3 months, and then a couple of more, so I will have some wiggle room under 150.0 pounds.  My new chart is going to have a weight range of 142 - 152 pounds instead of 146 - 156 pounds.  There is something emotionally satisfying about establishing 150.0 as a top weight rather than my low weight or my average weight.  Mind you, I have not been able to establish it as an average weight, yet.  So far, 150.0 has been my low weight.  I have hit that number on the scale twice, I think, since January 10th.  I've have had several days in the last few weeks between 150.0 and 151.0, so that's good.  Over the last few days I have eaten more than normal, though, so this morning I was at 153.  I want to be at 150.0, as a maximum weight.  It feels right to me.  I'll need to eat a little less for a couple of weeks to get there, but I am going to get it done.

The morning has gotten away from me.  Since I started this post we have eaten breakfast, I've looked up recipes for soup, we've made a shopping list and run an errand, and I've talked to Carla.  Now it's 11:36 and I still need to get our taxes done before I go for my run.  The days slip by too fast, sometimes. Until tomorrow...