5/19/2012: Working Through the Blues...

Sometimes, well, most of the time, OK, maybe all of the time, things just don't go as planned.  Right, Rebecca?  I thought I had a plan for the rest of the year that I was OK with, but I no longer think I can stay that course.  No, I'm not talking about my get healthy and fit plan.  That is right on track.  Thank goodness I have taken charge of that aspect of my life!!  That helps motivate me to work through other areas over which I have less control.  I'm being vague, I know.  Sorry about that, but it has to be that way in this forum.  But suffice it to say that it has been a rough few days for me, emotionally, and it is time for me to do something about it.  I refuse to sit on my duff to wait to see what will come my way.  That has never been my style and, I dare say, it never will be.  The only constant is change, as they say.

On a seemingly unrelated note, I had an interesting and somewhat unsettling experience a week or two ago.  It's funny that I can't remember where I was or who I was talking to, but this is what happened.  I was at an event (I remember now, it was the White House symposium for entreprenuers at the Kauffman Center) and was talking with a couple of women when the subject of retirement planning came up.  Of course, Jack and I have discussed this subject, numerous times, and we are both saving in 401Ks and have some money in IRAs and Jack will have his military pension (at least the part he gets to keep); but part of the plan is that I intend to work for a long, long time.  Yes, this will be partly from the desire to have more money than our savings and Jack's pension will provide.  And that desire for more money has more to do with what I want to do rather than what I have to do to get by.  We'll want to travel, spend time with family, and stay engaged with the world around us.  All of that takes money.  Plain and simple.

But the other reason I will work in some capacity for a long, long time is simply because I like to be engaged in meaningful work.  I like being challenged and forcing myself to continually adapt and improve my skill set and increase my knowledge.  I like getting paid.  I have no desire to be retired.  Do I want the ability to take long vacations and three day weekends on a regular basis?  Well, yes, probably.  I am hoping that as I get into my seventies and eighties I have worked that part out.  But not working at all is just not in the cards for me, anytime soon.

So, back to this unsettling experience.  One of the women I was talking to was an investment/retirement consultant of some sort.  When the subject of retirement planning came up, specifically retirement planning for women, Ms. Investment Consultant stated, as if it were a fact, that planning for retirement for women is different from planning for retirement for men because women just don't want to work into their sixties and seventies the way men do.  I stated, quite directly, that I intend to work through my sixties and seventies and well into my eighties, if not nineties, and Ms. Investment Consultant was just aghast at the thought.  She looked at me as if I was some freak of nature or something.  She just couldn't figure out why I wouldn't want to "plan my life" in such a way that I could retire in my late fifties or early sixties.  "What if something happens to you?" she said.  You know, something may happen to me that may either temporarily or permanently derail my plan to work for the next 30 years.  But I am sure not going to plan for that.  Yes, Jack and I are saving money.  Yes, we recognize the possibility of things not going to plan.  But you know, I can't look at the future and plan to be frail and decrepit in my old age.  That's just silly.  I look into the future and see a vibrant, productive, fun-loving, generous, wise and practical old lady.  I like the way that looks.  That's the future I am planning for.  Ms. Investment Consultant can take her annuities to the old folks home with her and be spoon fed jello, for all I care.  I'm going to be eating granola on the long trail with my daughters, granddaughters and great granddaughters until I am pushing daisies!!  That's my plan.  That is why I am working hard to get and stay at a healthy weight.  That is why I have to solve the problem I referred to at the beginning of this post.  One by one, I need to address the issues that frustrate me in life and work through them.  I have gotten a grip on the biggest, most important, and probably most emotionally crippling one; my weight.  Now it is time to start grappling with Big Issue Number Two.

Ah life...ain't it grand?