Tuesday, December 22, 2015

12/22/2015: Highs and Lows

Yesterday, after having a drain removed, I felt a little better.  I though I felt pretty good, actually.  Then around 4:00 in the afternoon it all came crashing down around my ears.  All of a sudden, I felt terrible.  Nothing helped.  Not drinking water, not taking a pain pill, not laying down, not sitting up, not walking around, nothing I could think of helped.  So I laid there and felt miserable and sorry for myself for the rest of the evening.  Pretty pathetic.

I made it through the night only waking up once, so that was my best night's sleep so far.  That was a blessing.  I woke up this morning still feeling pretty crappy.  One of the things making me feel crappy is pain in my left shoulder.  I think the pain is coming from sitting and standing in strange positions to keep my drain from poking me and hurting.  Also, I haven't been able to stand totally straight since my surgery, so I think it is all adding up to stress on my upper back.  Jack gave me a nice shoulder massage this morning and that helped a lot.  I hope to get a few more of those, today.  Part of the problem may be that we put the binder on too tightly yesterday.  We took it off for a few hours last night, which helped the discomfort a little.

The last drain comes out tomorrow.  That is definitely a good thing, though it does hurt really bad when the drain is removed.  That is temporary though, compared to the relief of having it out of me.  After that I hope to experience pretty rapid progress.

We should get instructions tomorrow with regard to scar therapy and tissue massage to minimize scarring and reduce swelling and soften up the tissue damaged by the surgery.  The short periods of time that Jack massages me and rubs lotion over me are the highlights of my day.  Never, ever underestimate the power of touch.  It is so therapeutic.

I fantasized for a moment that I may be able to join Jack for the annual Christmas Eve gathering with his family, but after yesterday's regression I realize that is silly.  I'm definitely staying home and relaxing.  More than anything, I just want to recover and get strong.

I have stuck with my food program 100% through this whole thing, so far.  I have to admit, there are times that I think about eating sweets.  I think it is because I feel crappy and I make believe that it will make me feel better.  When I start thinking about eating sweets (ice cream or dark chocolate) I think about the chain reaction it will start in my body.  The elevation of my blood sugar, the release of insulin, my hormones getting whacked out, the resulting inflammation, and I talk myself out of it fairly quickly.  The fact is, the swelling I am experiencing is minimal compared to that of other women that have had the same procedure.  Some gain 15 or more pounds and don't lose it for weeks.  I am exactly the same weight I was going into the procedure, which means that whatever the doctor cut off I have gained in swelling, but that's it.  I attribute my rapid healing and my minimal swelling to my diet.  I'm not going to blow it, or my 3 months of abstinence from sugar by succumbing to a craving because I feel sorry for myself.

All is well.  This, too, shall pass.

Have a beautiful day!

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