Sunday, December 6, 2015

12/6/15: The Good and the Bad

Days of abstinence: 75
Exercise:  None – Unless cooking, wrapping presents, and shopping all day counts (and I know it doesn’t)
Days until surgery: 8
Weight:  155.4 pounds

First – what I am not pleased with:  I am having trouble staying really committed to exercise.  I know exactly why.  Partly, I am way too busy and I am having trouble getting enough time to sleep.  I’m getting up at 4:00 and going to work, instead of exercising.  I am going to be off for three weeks and there is so much for me to get done before I leave.  This is not a normal time at work.  We are in the middle of a massive restructuring/”right sizing” and I need to have all of my ducks in a row so Mike can manage the cash side of things relatively easily in my absence.  But a bigger factor is the knowledge that I will not be able to exercise for 6 weeks, so I know I am going to be starting over, anyway.  It’s stupid.  I know that.  I know it makes more sense to be as fit as possible on the day of surgery, but when I do exercise all I can think about is how weak I am going to be in 7 weeks and how I am going to have to start from square one.  I have a plan for that, I have no doubt that I’ll do it, but it makes getting really into exercise now, difficult for me.  It’s all emotional and irrational and I know that.  But it is what is making it difficult to prioritize exercise ahead of sleep or work.

Second – what I am pleased with:  I weighed 155.4 pounds this morning!!!!!!  I am so close to my goal weight range of 150 – 155 pounds prior to surgery!!  I am so excited!!  My body is so predictable.  Lose a couple of pounds in a day or two.  Fight to keep it off for 7 – 10 days.  Then lose a couple of more pounds.  Weird.  I wish I understood why it works that way, but I never will.  With a lot of hard work, persistence, commitment and a little luck, I’ll never have to find out again.  I am not gaining this weight back.  I am getting the skin removed, I am getting my breasts lifted, and I am getting the saddle bags sucked away.  After that, my clean, sugar free diet and regular exercise is going to keep me within 5 pounds of 150 for the rest of my life.  Yes, I am incredibly excited about this!!!!

This surgery has changed my whole frame of mind about my body.  Being healthy is my first priority and everything about the foods we eat and exercising regularly is about being healthy.  Going to bed early, getting at least 7 hours of sleep, drinking lots of water, flossing my teeth; these are all things I do to try to stay healthy.  But all this loose skin has always irritated me.  Now that I have decided to spend the money, take the risk, and endure the pain of getting it cut off, my mind set is firmly entrenched in, “I will never again gain this weight back.”  Also, I will get much more dramatic results from conditioning, now that I will actually have a flat tummy and the saddle bags will be gone.  Wow!! 

I’ve been sugar free for two and a half months.  No regrets there.  It is so much easier to stay On Program than it has ever been before.  No “cheat” days.  No sneaking food.  No cravings.  Just eating like a “normal” person.  Food no longer rules me.  What a relief.

I’ve got more packages to wrap, so I gotta run.  Also, Carla is coming home for Christmas, now, so I need to go shopping and get her some stocking stuffers before I get cut on next Monday.  So much to do.  Only 7 days left to do it!!

Have a beautiful day!



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