I'm trying to put up a blog post every day because writing about my challenges with food keeps my thoughts linear and keeps me focused on my goal. Blogging gives my rational mind a stronger voice than my sugar addiction. It is a bad sign when I don't get a blog post up. It means that I don't have even a few minutes to pause and jot down a few thoughts; which means that my days have been crazy and I haven't been getting enough sleep. I didn't put up a post yesterday morning because I got less than 7 hours of sleep for 5 nights in a row and I was squeezing every moment of sleep into yesterday morning that I possibly could. The good news is that in spite of not having enough sleep, I have stayed on program. I am still sugar, wheat, and alcohol free!!
The bad news is that I have not lost any weight since I started weighing myself at the beginning of the week. I suspect the reason I am not losing weight is because I have not been getting enough sleep. It's all interrelated. I feel good, though. I feel so much better than I felt two weeks ago. I'm not bloated and puffy; I'm not beating myself up all the time for eating crap; I'm happier; my tummy is flatter. These are all good things!
Last night I had the afternoon off so I ran a few errands and then came home and went to bed. My bedtime call to Jackie was at 6:30 and I was lights out and eyes shut by 7:00. I was a little groggy when I woke up this morning at 5:00, but I had over 9 hours of sleep and I am now beginning to wake up. Tonight and Saturday nights are my late nights in the kitchen, but I have Friday off, so I should be able to get 8 hours of sleep tonight and tomorrow night. It'll be a short night of sleep for me on Saturday night, but if I can get three nights in a row of 8 hours of sleep, that should make a huge difference.
I am focusing on four areas of self-care. I am keeping it as simple as possible:
Diet: Be sugar, wheat and alcohol free. Don't overeat high calorie foods like nuts.
Sleep: Goal: 8 hours of sleep every night. Reality: Happy with at least 7 hours of sleep.
Exercise: Lift weights 2 to 3 times a week. Walk 2 to 3 times a week. Hike (or other outdoor fun) once a week.
Water: Drink plenty of water.
Here is the status update on all four of these areas:
My food intake has seemed impossible to control and it centers around sugar. Taste a muffin, "To see if it's good," and eat two, maybe three. Over-bake a tray of cookies and eat the ones that are too dark to serve. Get cravings late in the afternoon and grab handfuls of chocolate chips. Feel sorry for myself at the end of a hard day and bring a few beers to my room to relax and unwind. This is just a small sample of the ways I have allowed my addiction to control me over the last six months. When I am consuming sugar, the voice that urges me to eat more sugar is louder than any other voice in my head. As of this morning, I've been sugar free for 10 days and I feel much more in-control of my food. The sugar voice is small and not much of a bother. I have no desire to eat crap. When sugar is in front of me I can ignore it without feeling deprived or sorry for myself. I'm proud of myself for getting on top of this addiction, yet again. I am grateful for everyone's support in helping me do this. I'm not over-eating and I'm eating three decent meals a day with proteins, veggies and fruits. I feel good about this.
As you know, getting enough sleep is a constant challenge. For the most part, if a week is "normal," I should be able to get at least 7 hours of sleep, if not 8, 5 days a week. Last week was abnormal because our chef, Rene, had Friday and Saturday off. Dick, the owner of the Bernerhof, has been discussing dinner service with me and Carla. Right now, we offer dinner 3 nights a week because that is what is required to maintain our hotel liquor license. The hotel liquor license allows us to have on-premises liquor sales to anyone, even non-overnight-guests. Dick is going to appeal to the liquor commission to allow us to go to 2 nights a week. If he is unsuccessful in the appeal, we will exchange our license for a B&B license, which does not require food sales. The big difference in the two licenses is that the B&B license does not allow us to sell alcohol to non-overnight-guests. This is pretty restrictive and we'd like to avoid that. The Bernerhof has a long history in the valley and it's nice to be able to allow walk-ins to come in and have a glass of wine or a beer. We've been discussing the relative merits of the liquor license vs. the amount of extra work it is for Carla and I to have dinner service that third night a week, and have come to the conclusion that we'd be better off going to two, even if we have to shift to a B&B license. This is not going to happen immediately, but I am hoping by the end of June, we will only be serving dinner two nights a week.
Exercise: I am on my feet all day, almost every day, whether the day is a 12, 14, or 16 hour day. Once a week or so, I have a behind the desk day, where I sit for 3 or 4 hours. I average between 15,000 and 22,000 steps a day, as recorded by my Fitbit. When my diet sucks and I am not getting enough sleep, my body hurts pretty badly. This results in the inability to convince myself to exercise. Now that my food in-take is under control and as soon as I get close to 8 hours of sleep a night, my body will start healing itself over-night and my body won't hurt nearly as much. I know this is true because I remember how good it felt a few weeks ago when I had 4 nights in a row of 7 or more hours of sleep. Sleep and good food is critical to recovery. When I get both of those things, it will be easier to convince myself to lift weights and walk. I lifted weights yesterday. I won't get a chance to exercise today, it is dinner prep day, but tomorrow I have the day off and I will lift weights. On Saturday I will try to go for a 30 minute walk. On Sunday I will try to lift weights. That is as far out as I can plan at the moment.
Water: This shouldn't be difficult. I like water, I just haven't been drinking enough of it. I get distracted and don't think about it. I'll set a 60 minute timer on my watch and make sure I drink at least a cup of water every hour, starting with right now.
So that's it for now. This seems like a good plan.
Have a good day out there!! It's beautiful in New Hampshire, today. I hope you are having a beautiful day, too.
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