Yesterday I, rather forcefully, had my attitude adjusted. I am participating in a program called Women on the Leading Edge, a seminar series sponsored by Central Exchange, a women's networking organization in Kansas City. Yesterday we had our third of seven sessions and the keynote speaker was Patti Phillips, the CEO of the National Association of Collegiate Women Athletics Administrators. She has worked in, around and for women's collegiate athletics for her entire career and her presentation was focused on the importance of moving our bodies, a lot, every day. She even quoted from "Younger Next Year," and talked about how our bodies are always in one of two states, decaying or growing, and how we can control whether our bodies are growing or decaying by doing one, and only one, thing. Exercise.
I will admit to being uncomfortable through her entire presentation. I don't know why exactly, but I could feel myself drawing inwards and physically folding my body in on itself, like I was trying to make myself smaller or something. It was a strange reaction to this vibrant, healthy, positive woman who was there to share her insights with us. I don't think it's possible that I didn't like her, but there was something about her message that was difficult for me to hear.
Honestly, one of the reasons I signed up for this class in the first place was to hear this woman speak. When I read through the description of the sessions, I had an intense feeling that she had something to say that I needed to hear. When I go back and analyze one of the motivators that got me to start exercising when I did, it was the knowledge that I was going to listen to Patti speak and I knew that if I had not already started exercising regularly by the time she was going to teach her class, that I would feel really awful about myself. I knew that if I had a few weeks under my belt, I could at least tell myself I had started to take care of myself.
Her presentation had an interesting impact on me. Most of all, it made me realize how negatively I talk about exercise. She had a saying that I can't exactly recall, but it had someting to do with how you experience what you say, rather than say what you experience. In other words, according to Patti, one of the reasons I hated to exercise is because I always talked about how much I hate to exercise.
Throughout her presentation I knew everything she said was true. I have never doubted the importance of regular exercise and, therefore; what she had to say was simply reinforcing what I already knew. So what was difficult about her message, then? The difficult part was having to acknowledge, full on, that if I ever stop exercising on a daily basis again, I, and only I, would be fully responsible for what happens next. I would be the one responsible for not being able to do all of the things I want to do when I am older, retired, and have the time and resources to play the way I want to play, outdoors. There would be no one to blame but me, for not being a vibrant older woman if I choose not to exercise at least 6 out of 7 days for the rest of my life. Yet, I kept thinking to myself how much I hate to exercise. How can I stop dreading it so much?
We had a Q&A after her presentation and I asked her exactly that question. She, of course, said that one of the reasons I hate to exercise is because I say I hate to exercise. I think she may have a point. Someone else in the class said that I needed to pretend I like it until I do like it, or "Fake it until I make it," one of my favorite sayings. She had a point, too. Patti asked me how I feel after I exercise and I told her I felt great. I said, in fact, that for 23 hours a day, I loved exercising, of course, those are the 23 hours that I am not actually exercising, but that I am reaping the benefits of having exercised earlier in the day. Her response was, "See, you do love to exercise." Anyway, the takeaway was to talk positively about exercise and I would find my attitude toward it changing a lot more quickly than if I talked negatively about it. Good point. At the end of the session she handed out little rubber bracelets. Mine says, "Inspired." I am wearing it so that every time I notice it I will remember to tell myself how much I love to exercise.
Today on my jog/walk I almost started with my normal self-talk of, "Ugh, this is hard. I don't want to do this. I have to do it, though, so I am. It's too hard, etc..." But instead, I changed the tape and I talked about rebuilding and renewing my body. Then I started to think of all of the positive words I could think of that I would like people to use to describe me and I said them out loud. When I ran out of words I would look at objects that I was passing and thing of a positive word to describe that object that I could apply to myself. I ended up having a solid hour of positive self talk, instead of negative, and the exercise was, indeed, a lot more pleasant.
I don't think I learned anything new about exercise yesterday, or the impact that it has on our bodies, our daily lives, or our ability to perform; but Patti's talk did remind me about the power of our words and thoughts. That was a powerful lesson and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was right, a month ago, when I signed up for this seminar. Patti Phillips definitely had something to say that I needed to hear, it just wasn't quite what I expected.
Changing our self talk is one of the hardest things to do. Yet it is one of the things that every successful person in any field suggests doing FIRST.
ReplyDeleteAndrew and I noticed the difference it can make back when he lost his job and my reaction when he told me. I knew something was wrong but I also knew that my reaction would determine the path we took. So when he first told me I made myself slow down and think more about how what I say would be heard and change it to make sure it was building up rather than tearing down.
You inspire me.
And you inspire me. It's really cool when it works out that way! I love that we became family through our marriages to father and son, yet we became friends through sharing so much of ourselves with each other. Two women, coming from very different places, that connect on so many levels. Who would have though that it would work out this way? I am so glad it did, and I am ever so grateful that we are both of those things, family and friends!!
ReplyDeleteThis is what I do ~
ReplyDeleteAbout one or two days a week, I love my workout. It usually happens when I am swimming, which you might want to add because you would like it.
About three or for days a week, I go through my workout as though it is a job that I don't particularly like or dislike. I don't think about whether or not I am enjoying me myself. I just set my watch and zone out.
On the one to two days per week that I don't want to do anything I say to myself, self, you don't have to like this, you just have to do this, and I do. Sometimes on these days I visualize chasing my food.
You will come up with things that work for you, but in the meantime don't fret about not liking it. You will eventually come to like some workouts and tolerate the rest of them.