4/3/2012: Tough Night and Motivators

Last night was a rough one. When I got home from work I was very hungry, in fact I was hungry before I left work and I did not handle it well. What I should have done was have a cheese stick and an apple before I left work, to curb my hunger a little. I did exactly the wrong thing and had just an apple. That made me even hungrier. By the time I got home I was looking for anything that wasn't bolted down to eat. Luckily, I did start making dinner right away which was made much easier because of Carla's thoughtfulness. She had cleaned the lettuce and chopped the vegetables for our chef's salads before she left to go to her girlfriend's house. All I had to do was boil some eggs, chop up some turkey, and put the salads together. I'm telling you that it is amazing how many calories one can consume in the 15 minutes it takes to boil eggs and get them in a salad, if one puts her mind to it. Let's see...what did I eat? The first target was the little bit of hummus that was left over in the fridge, perhaps two tablespoons, I'm guessing. I ate that with about 10 wheat thins. Then it was the chocolate chips, three small handfuls of about 2 tablespoons each. Then I ate about 6 more wheat thins. By then, then salads were almost together and just to make those extra yummy I added a couple tablespoons of chopped nuts and a tablespoon of sunflowers seeds, along with about 2 ounces of shredded aged cheddar cheese. Yes, the cheese was really good!! I put about 3 tablespoons of dressing on the salad and then ate another dozen wheat thins and about an ounce of Port Salut cheese while eating the salad. It's a good thing there was not any wine in the house, or I would have drank that, too. By the time I was done eating all that food I was feeling full...too full. But that did not stop me from eating a couple small handfuls of Jack's dark chocolate m&ms during the KU game last night. I have not added all those calories up yet, but I will. I know the scale was not happy this morning. All I can say is I am glad it was not a weigh-in day this morning!!!!

I'm not pleased with myself, this morning. In fact I am pretty disappointed in myself for gorging last night. I know the trigger was being so hungry when I left work. I know the mistake was eating lunch early and then not eating my afternoon snack. I know how to keep this from happening again. Today, I am packing my snacks and I will eat a snack at about 3:30, that will make a huge difference! I will also eat a morning snack and that will help me eat lunch a little later in the day.

Aside from thinking about how much I ate last night, this morning I have been thinking about my short term and long term goals and motivators. The shortest term motivator is our youngest daughter's wedding. Brianna is getting married on May 11th! I can't believe it is so soon!! The funny thing is it isn't the wedding, exactly, that has me motivated to look as good as possible on the 11th of May, it's the photos that are going to exist for decades afterwards! I know I can't get thin by then, but I can lose another 10 pounds. Those 10 pounds will make a big difference in how I look and feel! After eating way too much last night, I had to remind myself that I do have this short term goal of Brianna's wedding to shoot for, and I need to keep myself on track for that.

The second motivator is another wedding! My nephew, Pat, and his bride-to-be, Heather, are getting married on June 30th. Another 10 pounds or so by then? I think that is doable! And then Jack and I go on vacation in mid-September. We are going to the northeast to camp, hike, and enjoy a little NYC action. My goal is to be in the 180s by then. I know for a fact that if I am in the 180s when we are on our vacation I will feel a lot better about myself and enjoy our time off so much more than if I hadn't started working on my health and fitness a little over 5 weeks ago.

Longer term? I want to hike the entire Long Trail somewhere between my 55th and 60th birthdays. I don't have an exact time yet, because that will be about a 6 week endeavor and I don't know what my work situation will be then, but it is definitely a goal to hike it before my 60th birthday.

Longer, longer term? Back packing, hiking, and camping well into my 70s and 80s. I'd like to explore mountains around the world, carrying my own gear. It sure sounds like fun to me!!

I better run. Late for work.