4/6/2012: Disturbing Find: Same Story, Different Spring

What is this, you ask? This is my weight loss graph from 2010. There are some scary similarities here. Scary because after I lost 20 pounds I stopped losing weight. Then I gained it back. Oh yeah, and plus some.


This was the story back then. This graph starts on February 6, 2010. I was not working yet, as I had fairly recently ended my telecommuting gig with Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. I was spending a lot of time nesting into our new house, painting, removing wall paper from walls, hanging bead board, tackling plumbing and grouting projects, rearranging furniture, and that sort of thing. I was also going to Curves everyday, which is about a mile from the house. With the walk there and the walk home, I was getting in a little over an hour of exercise a day. I started this graph when I decided to go on the Curves weight loss regimen. I had already been going to Curves for several months when I started the diet and I was frustrated that the exercise, alone, was not doing the trick. I added the diet to my routine so I would start losing weight. As you can see from the blue line on the graph, the Curves plan is a series of cycles. They recommend 1200 calories for one week, 1500 calories for three weeks, and at least two weeks of maintenance between each 4 week weight loss segment. It was working fairly well, between 2/6/2010 and 4/29/2010 I lost 20.1 pounds; which brings us to the scary part. What happened?


As I think back two years I can think of two significant factors that would have caused me to lose focus on losing weight. The first is a big one. I started working on May 3rd, 2010, at First National Bank of Olathe. This was a triple whammy for me in that 1) I went from being active and working with my body all day to sitting at my desk in front of a computer screen, 2) I could no longer go to Curves because they did not open early enough or stay open late enough to accommodate my work schedule and commute, and 3) I am a stress eater and I was stressed from starting a new job in a new industry. It is not a coincidence that the last entry on this graph is April 29, 2010 and my first day at work was May 3, 2010. The impact was instantaneous. Combine the new job with the fact that I was feeling more comfortable in my body because I had already lost 20 pounds, and we have the major factors that contributed to me losing focus, that time around.


I'm glad I kept this graph. I know I have thought about deleting it from the computer at least once in the last two years. I have deleted another graph I started in the fall of 2011. That weight loss effort ended on Thanksgiving. I don't remember my starting and ending weights that time. Now I wish I had kept that graph, too. I can't let myself fall into the same types of traps that have derailed me in the past. One of the reasons that I find the above graph particularly disturbing is because of the time frame. I started that diet in early February. I ended it in late April. I lost 20 pounds. This time I started in late February. It's now early April. I am on track to lose about 20 pounds in about the same time frame. Uh oh.


This Monday was a set-back in that I had a relatively uncontrolled eating episode. This week I have refocused on counting calories and the results on the scale have been good, this morning the number flashing on that little screen as 212.0. What a relief! Yet I know that I have a hurdle to get over, and I need to get over it right now. I'm at that stage where this is no longer new and, therefore, it is no longer "fun." Not that I've been having fun going to the gym and counting calories, but starting new things is always exhilarating and that exhilaration invariably gives me a lift. Now it has settled into the routine. Now it's all about the slog. The long haul. The day in and day out of making the right choices, time after time after time. Just thinking about it makes me go, "Ugh!"


I need to retrench and recommit and that is what I am doing right here and right now. I feel good about the tools in my tool box. This blog helps, a lot. In case you're wondering, your comments make a big difference. Knowing you're out there and care enough to read my ramblings motivates me to stick to this. My chart helps a lot, too. I am impressed by the mental difference it has made to have a huge, hand written chart on the wall of my bathroom compared to the excel graph I have posted at the top of this post. When I was making the chart I am using now I had to hand write all of the weights along the vertical axis of the grid. Then I had to hand write the dates along the horizontal axis. When I made that excel graph I typed in the first two numbers and dragged and dropped. Excel filled in the rest. The simple act of hand writing the weights and dates gave me a completely different perspective. With each number I wrote I visualized myself getting thinner and healthier. Which each date I wrote I saw myself on that day, thinner, healthier, and happier. It truly is amazing how our brains work. Visualizing success significantly increases the odds of succeeding. I love the fact that I am taking my picture every Sunday and pasting it to my chart. I find myself staring at the chart, comparing the first picture I took to the last picture I took and seeing the little differences in my face and body. I like what I see and I can visualize the next picture looking a little better, and the next and the next. Counting calories helps, too. Even on those "bad" days. Keeping a record of everything I eat makes me pay attention to everything I put in my mouth. Does it always cause me to make a "good" choice? Well, obviously not, but it sure does help me get back on track, pretty darn fast. Hiring a personal trainer helps a lot, too. His name is Jeremy, by the way, and I have shared my blog address with him. That's kind of scary to think about, but hey, it keeps it real. I like the routine we have. I work out with Jeremy once a week and he gives me my strength training routine for that week. Then I go back to the gym and do strength training on my own two more times that week. Three times a week I also do cardio on my own, so I am working out for an hour, six times a week. By only working with Jeremy once a week, I am developing a confidence that I can do the weight lifting at the gym, on my own, without feeling foolish. We set monthly goals and I work hard to meet those goals. It's kind of funny, actually. I don't want to disappoint Jeremy. It feels like my motherly instincts kick in and I want this success for him, as well as me. As silly as it sounds, it is another motivator, so I'll take it!! Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am not sure which, the trainer is expensive. The fortunate part is once I have spent the money on ten training sessions, I am committed to the next ten weeks. The unfortunate part is every ten weeks I need to part with a chunk of change to keep the trainer. At this point I know having the trainer is worth every penny I spend.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. It helps! I can do this! I am doing this! I will reach my target weight of 150 pounds on or before February 4, 2013. I will not let unexpected roadblocks derail me. I will not let the stress of work overcome my motivation to be healthy. I will not allow a special event or a holiday to break my momentum. I am in this for real. I am in this for my health. I am in this for my future. I am shaking this monkey off of my back for once and for all. I've said good bye to that lady that accepted the fact that she was "fat." She no longer exists. This woman is fit, active, loves life, and intends to live life to its fullest for many decades to come!!

FYI - My net calories for the last two days:

Wednesday: Calories consumed - 1083; Calories burned (4 mile walk) - 388; Net Calories - 717

Thursday: Calories consumed - 1,682; Calories burned (50 minutes weight lifting) - 481; Net Calories - 1,201

Measurement results from yesterday: 2 inches smaller at my chest and waist, 1 inch smaller at my waist