I am pleased with what has been happening on the bathroom scale the last couple of mornings. It makes days like yesterday worth it! I wanted to eat all day long. From the moment I got to work until I went to bed last night, I thought about food. Some of the time I was craving something sweet. Most of the time I would have been satisfied with any food. I peaked into the pizza box on the counter in the break room. I was relieved when it didn't look good. The good news is that I didn't eat any off-program food yesterday and the only thing that I ate that was not on my plate was a handful of nuts when I got home from work. By the time I got home, I was truly hungry and I had several hours left until bedtime; I knew I needed to eat something or I'd be battling my hunger all night. The nuts took the edge off.
When I assess the day and try to figure out why the food cravings and hunger were so overwhelming yesterday I come up with three possible causes:
- It was day four without sugar. The addiction is kicking in and trying to force me to succumb.
- Stress. The day did not go as planned. I thought I was going to get a lot of projects done and I got interrupted a lot. None of the projects got completed.
- Weight lifting caused a calorie deficit, I didn't eat enough. My trainer has shifted my weight lifting sessions from 3 whole body workouts a week to each workout targeting specific muscles groups. The goal is to improve strength. The weights are heavier, the workouts have more of a cardio vascular element to them, and I am seriously fatigued at the end of the workout. I may need to eat more on days when I lift weights. I have read that eating something protein heavy right after a workout helps the muscles repair themselves. I eat a hearty breakfast before my workout (at about 4:15) and I eat lunch at about 10:30. I might need to consider adding a light meal right after my workout and pushing lunch back an hour or so. We'll see how it goes next week. I will definitely keep this in mind.
Yesterday stood in stark contrast to Wednesday, when I did not have any food cravings at all. There were some significant differences to the two days.
- I didn't exercise Wednesday morning because it was raining and it was a running day. (We are having thunderstorms again this morning, which is why I have time to put up a longer post.)
- I was able to complete several small projects at work and make the progress I wanted to make throughout the day.
I have 2.4 more pounds to lose. I am OK with muscling my way through some hunger pains for a short period of time to get there. On the other hand, I will be careful to pay attention to how much I need to eat on weight lifting days. I've never really had a problem with not eating enough, but I may be exploring new territory with my exercise regimen and I don't want to unintentionally sabotage myself by not eating enough.
On another note (Does anyone actually read these entire posts when I start rambling like this? I kind of doubt it! That's OK, though. It helps me just to write about it. Blogging keeps my mind from spinning for too long on a particular topic.) As I was saying, on another note, it is amazing how different my body is after my mommy makeover than it was before my surgery. There is the obvious, of course. My tummy is flat, my breasts are shapelier, and the saddlebags are gone. But I am talking about something much more subtle, yet maybe more important to my long term health and happiness. I can see and feel every pound. Before surgery (can we call that BS? I kind of like that. And after surgery will be AS.), I could not see or feel 5 or 10 pounds. There was so much loose and sagging skin that seemed to just absorb extra pounds, I just couldn't tell if I was gaining weight without getting on the scale. This made it possible for me to gain 15 or 20 pounds before I started to get really uncomfortable. Now, without all that extra skin, if I gain even two pounds, I can see it and I can feel it. My tummy gets a little bulge to it and I get a little puffiness around my waist. The shape of my body is altered perceptibly by just a couple of pounds. While this might sound awful to some of you, it is a huge relief to me. I need every trigger you can think of to keep me from sliding into bad habits that will be detrimental to my long-term health and well being. When I can see the results of my overeating within a few days of "the slide," it triggers me to stop that behavior. I love my flat little belly. I am so relieved to be able to put on clothes that just fit my body without having to pack in my folds of skin and sagging breasts, that I never want to lose that. I am willing to exercise regularly for the rest of my life to keep it this way. I am also willing to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. But sometimes, my life gets hectic, stress intervenes, I am away from home too long, or I just get lazy and my diet and/or exercise habits falter and I fall back into the habits of yesteryear. Within a week, I start to thicken around the middle and that is just flat out unacceptable. At 150 - 152 pounds, I'm fine. At about 153, my belly starts to get a little round and by 155 (where I was two days ago) I start to get thicker around the waist. I used to scoff at the "skinny girls" that complained, "I need to lose five pounds, I am getting so fat!" But now I get it. It's not that I feel like I am getting fat, it's that I can feel and see those 5 pounds and I don't like it. My clothes don't fit as well. I know I am on a slide that is not good for me. If you are reading this right now, and I ever minimized your feelings when you said you needed to lose ten pounds, I am sincerely sorry. Back then, I couldn't see how being 5 or 10 or even 20 pounds overweight mattered. Back then, all I could relate to was how awful it felt to be 50 or 75 or 100 pounds overweight. That was a problem. Ten pounds? Bleh! Who cares? I feel like such a cad. I get it now. I really can feel every pound and I am glad for it. One-fifty to one-fifty-two? All good. More than that, not so good. One-fifty-five and the emergency sirens are going off. Yes, I like this change in my body. It is one more tool in my tool box that will help me stay close to program for life. I had no idea it would be like this, but I am grateful that it is.
The title of today's blog post is rain, rain, rain; yet I haven't talked about the rain. That is the title of this blog post because that is what I thought I'd talk about today. I am a little worried about all this rain because it highlights the weak element of my home gym. I don't have a treadmill or any similar piece of equipment and I don't belong to a gym. Most of the time that is completely fine. I will run all winter and I'll run all summer. Heat and cold are not a problem. It's also not a problem to miss a day here and there due to rain or snow. It starts to feel like a problem when I miss two runs in the same week due to thunderstorms. It doesn't help that I looked at the forecast and saw thunderstorms predicted for the next several days. As you know, I find it very difficult to exercise after work, but on days like this I am going to have to try. Yesterday, Jack and I went for a walk after work so I could stay away from the kitchen. At the very least I will try to go for another walk this evening. If it's not raining, I will try to go for a short run. I don't want a treadmill. I don't know where I'd put it. I don't like running on treadmills. But maybe I'll get a treadmill. I might have to concede that the long term plan doesn't work well without one. We'll see.
I guess that's enough for one day. Have a good one out there!
First, of course I read the whole post. Second, I have been waiting for this post. I have been waiting to hear more about how great it must be not to have all of that skin. Third, you made of sugar? Run in the rain! It is fun. Unless there is active lightning, run! Finally, runners in the heartland have treadmills. Get one!
ReplyDeleteYou don't think I am so sweet I would melt in the rain? Bugger that!! Actually, both mornings there was active lightening and that is what scares me. I don't mind getting wet, particularly now that I have three pairs of running shoes that I can change out. I probably need a treadmill. Thanks for reading the whole post. As I wrote those words I thought of two people: Carla, who I know only skims them, and you, who I know reads the whole post. I have no idea about the other 50 - 100 people that check my blog everyday. I have been thinking more about the results of the surgery lately, and how it is has impacted my life. 8 months later, pretty much fully recovered, I am beginning to understand the full implications of my decision. It's good. Terribly good. There will be more posts. Thanks Ruth!!!!
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