Saturday, October 17, 2015

10/17/15: I’m a Little Frustrated with my Scale

Days of abstinence: 24
Days until surgery: 60
Weight:  165.4 pounds

My Program is not as much about my weight as it is about my health and my physiological and emotional responses to certain foods.  I like my food program because it keeps food in perspective.  I’ve been 100% On Program for 24 days. 

As a quick reminder, On Program means on the Whole 30 program; the program eliminates sugar and sugar substitutes, alcohol, dairy except clarified butter, legumes, seed oils, and grains; the diet consists of 3 meals a day that include a reasonable portion of protein (deck of cards or palm size), half a plate of vegetables (all vegetables, including root vegetables [like potatoes] and squash, but excluding legumes [like peas and lima beans]), and a small serving of fruit.  The Whole 30 includes healthy fats like coconut oil, olive oil, animal fats (including clarified butter), avocados and a limited amount of specified nuts (cashews and macadamias top the list).

The first few days were pretty rough.  I craved sugar all day and all I really wanted to do was eat a chocolate bar.  I got through that few days by texting Carla every time I had a craving to remind myself that being healthy was a much more important motivation than satisfying a craving.  After about Day 5, the program got relatively easy and about 10 days into it I started feeling really good again.  I started feeling happier and sleeping better, in spite of work, which has been nuts.  Now, 24 days into my Program, food seems to have a healthy level of importance in my daily routine.  Yes, I think about food, but I don’t think about it 24/7.  I think about it in the context of planning when and what I am going to eat.  I have to plan around events and a busy schedule.  I need to carve out the time to plan our menu for the week and cook our meals.  I need to set aside a little time each day to eat and enjoy my meals. 

There is an irony to my Program.  Most people seem surprised and almost sorry for me when I tell them I am never going to eat sugar again.  They exclaim that they would miss sweets too much.  If I happen to mention that I don’t eat grains either, they really think I’m depriving myself of all food that tastes good and is “fun to eat.”  These very same people complain every day when I heat up my lunch because, get this, it smells so good.  Every day I hear the same things, “That smells so good!  What are you eating today?”  “I’d pay you to bring my lunch to work every day!”  “Wow! That looks like a fantastic dinner!” These same people are heating up left over pizza or grilled cheese sandwiches for their lunches.  I do not look at their meals, lustfully.  I am quite happy with my lunches, just as they are.   My coworkers think I’m depriving myself when I tell them I don’t eat sugar and grains, yet they would happily swap their lunches for mine.  I can’t say that I blame them, my lunches are delicious!

So, yes, a portion of every day and every week is allotted to thinking about food and planning meals, but it is not an obsession nor do I have cravings.  When I am On Program, I spend a healthy amount of time thinking about food.  It’s important to eat.  Of course it is going to take time every week to make sure we have healthy food in the house.  Of course I have to plan around meals and make sure I take the time to eat my meals and enjoy them.   But I am relieved that food is no longer an obsession and that I no longer have to think about it all the time.  With the exception of the first several days On Program, this is not about will power.  It’s about planning and executing the plan.  All in all, being On Program requires a little more planning and a little more work, but it requires a lot less effort.  Decisions get made, food gets cooked, meals get eaten.  Cravings are gone.  I don’t need to make thousands of micro-decisions a day (Am I going to eat this? How about that?  Ooh, that looks good, one won’t hurt.  Donuts today!  Oh, I’ll have one, well maybe just half.  Sure, I’ll have a mint.  It’s sugar free, right?).  Being On Program is so much easier than not being On Program.  It’s like the difference between night and day. 

I do feel great, a little exhausted, but great.  I am exhausted because of work and post-season baseball.  Both are emotionally draining.  I am sleeping like a rock.  I lay down and clunk, I’m out like a light.

I am happy with my program and my “relationship” with food.  I feel like I have food in proper perspective and I am not struggling with my Food Program.  But I am getting frustrated with the scale.  I want, more than anything, to be healthy, and I am doing the things (with regard to diet and exercise) I need to do to be healthy.  I know that.  But I also want to lose some weight.  To be precise, I want to lose 15 pounds prior to December 16th.  I’ll be satisfied with 10, tickled with 12 – 13, and thrilled with 15.  Yet, I have not lost any weight in a couple of weeks.  I look back on my diet and exercise and know I am doing the right things, things that have worked in the past, so what is it?  I know what it is.  It’s stress, plain and simple.  I just did a quick google search on how stress impedes weight loss and came up with this article, which I thought was pretty decent.  http://www.builtlean.com/2012/10/22/stress-weight-loss/  I didn’t fact check it, but it sums up,  pretty well, what I have read over the last several years on the subject of how stress impacts our hormones, health, and weight loss.  One thing that I did pick out of the article was that when stress goes up, the body’s hormone rhythm gets whacked out, and if you happen to be a coffee drinker, it is natural to compensate for this by drinking more coffee.  Drinking more coffee exacerbates the hormone whack-out, which leads to more coffee drinking.  This hit home because I noticed this week that I started fixing a second pot of coffee and bringing it to work with me.  OK, fine.  I won’t do that anymore.  I am not cutting out coffee, but I will go back to my normal 2 cups a day, instead of 3 or 4.

We are going through a major transition at work.  I think we all go through periods like this, no matter what are jobs are, when we are called on to do too much.  Most of the time I can keep work in proper perspective.  Now is not one of those times.  Right now, it’s overwhelming.  This past week was better than the week before, though, so that’s good, but next week is going to be rough.  I am not working at all today, so that’s great!!  I do have to work all day tomorrow (Sunday).  That’s not so great.  The really good news is that after October 31st, everything should calm down significantly and my work life should be more or less normal, once again.   In the meantime, I’d like to make a little progress on the scale.  I have to figure out a way to relax and reduce this feeling of being overtaxed and over stressed and still get my job done.  I am exercising most days, but I am not running.  I think a little jogging (or even walking) outdoors might help, because when I jog I get outside and I am not exposed to a lot of stimulation.  My Black Fire workouts with Bob Harper aren’t exactly under-stimulating.  They are an action packed 30-40 minutes of very efficient get-at-it strength training combined with cardio exercise.  One of the keys here is that the videos are relatively short.  Usually they are about 35 minutes long.  Prior to doing the videos as my primary source of exercise, I was exercising for a full hour.  I’ve been taking the advantage of the fact that the videos are only 35 minutes long and squeezing an extra 25 minutes into my mornings.  I don’t want to substitute a run for a Black Fire workout because I love the variety in the workouts.  Every week there are five unique workouts that target different muscle groups or skill sets.  My body is toning up, by balance is improving, I even think I am getting a little faster running bases.  My ability to “burst” is improving.  I credit these crazy workouts I am doing for these changes.  What I can do and what I have been thinking about doing is I can get outside and jog/walk for the remainder of the hour.  Just because the video is only 30 minutes long doesn’t mean I should only exercise for 30 minutes.  This week, I am going to make that change.  After spending 30 minutes with Bob Harper and the Black Fire gang, I will throw on some warm gear and go for a jog (or a walk, if my body says no to running). 

Jack, bless his heart, is covering for me at home.  He’s cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen, in addition to his normal chores.  The only chores I have to do are cooking and paying the bills.  That is totally manageable.  I really think I need to figure out how to get some relaxing into my day, every day, in spite of work (and the Royals!  Really, the Royals just need to sweep the Blue Jays in the ALCS.  That would help a lot!).

I guess I am actually a little aggravated with myself for caring what the scale says right now.  In reality, all things considered, I am doing great!  In spite of everything, my food Program is spot on.  In spite of everything, I am exercising several days a week.  In spite of everything, I am enjoying the ball games with Jack.  In spite of everything, I’m holding it together and everything is going to be alright.  Sometimes I am too hard on myself.  I know this.  I need to relax.  I know this.  So there it is.  That is my issue for today.  I need to give myself a break and appreciate the fact that I am managing a difficult moment as well as can be expected.  Perhaps I shouldn’t be getting on the scale, but then again, perhaps weighing myself is exactly the right thing for me to do being.  When I think about it, and it took this entire blog post for me to get to this point, the fact that that needle is not budging is forcing me to address the one thing I am doing on a daily basis that is impairing my health; I am stressing too much over my job.  I need to get that piece figured out.  I will get it figured out.  That will be the focus over this next week.  Figure out what I need to change so that my job doesn’t overly stress me.  I got this!

To sum it up, I am going to change three things this week:  
  1. Go back to my normal coffee consumption, which is 2 cups a day. 
  2. Workout for an entire hour by adding a jog/walk to the end of my Black Fire routine. 
  3. Get the support I need at work from my bosses so that I don’t feel like I am carrying too much of the load on my own shoulders.


That’s the plan.  Feels like a good one.  As always, thanks for listening!

Have a wonderful day!!  Go Royals!!


No comments:

Post a Comment