11/1/15: Second Guessing my Choice of Surgeons

Days of abstinence: 39

Days until surgery: 45 

Weight:  161.8 pounds

Before I talk briefly about the fact that I am second guessing my choice of surgeons, I am going to do something I don’t think I’ve ever done before on my blog, I am going to cut and past the final words from yesterday’s post into this one.  Every morning, prior to putting up a new blog post, I read yesterday’s blog post.  It’s always interesting to read what I said yesterday because it captures a moment.  My blog posts are seldom, if ever, premeditated.  Sometimes I have an idea of one thing that I want to talk about, but more often than not that thought veers off into an unexpected direction.  I guess that is what is fun, interesting, and effective about blogging.  I’ve said before that it helps me keep my thoughts straight.  By that I mean when I write down my thoughts, I stop the looping that occurs when I am stressed about something or not making good choices.  Once I write about it, I can put it away for the day.  Anyway, yesterday I ended my blog post with these words:

“I feel good, I feel strong, and I feel confident.  This is a nice way to live.  I feel like I am making choices rationally, not succumbing to cravings or falling victim to my addiction.  I am not beating myself up about my food choices or about how much I weigh.  I am not measuring my food, counting calories, or fussing about little choices.  I’m cooking healthy meals, eating three times a day, and that’s that.  It feels so natural.  My body and my brain are happy on this plan.  It just plain works for me (and my husband!).”

When I read those words this morning I said to myself, “Yeah, that’s right.  That is exactly how I feel.”  I may have to print those words out in a big font with a pretty picture in the background and tape it to the refrigerator so I never forget how being solidly on this program makes me feel.  So no matter what happens with my current worrying about surgeons, whether I postpone surgery to give myself time to interview more surgeons or I go ahead on the 16^th with Dr. Quinn, I will not waiver from this program.  I love feeling this good.

With regard to second guessing my choice of surgeons, I belong to a website whose users are all people that have had or are considering having plastic surgery.  It is full of real life experiences, including surgeon reviews.  There are several very positive reviews of Dr. Quinn, but yesterday I logged into the website for the first time since I changed surgeons and I had a comment from someone that had a negative experience with Dr. Quinn.  Her complaint was that she had poor results (she had a breast augmentation and one of the breast implants did not drop properly, so the results were very uneven) and Dr. Quinn was not willing to work with her to fix it.  I immediately panicked and started doing more poking around the site.  I found several other positive reviews and then found a second one stating she had a similar problem with Dr. Quinn.  Ugh.   I private messaged both women and asked for more information.  I heard back from one and she said that Dr. Quinn finally admitted the results were not good and said he would work with her to fix it.  Of course that means another surgery, which cannot be done for several more months.  So, as she put it, she will not be able to give him a positive review until the second procedure is done and she sees how it turns out.

All day yesterday I stressed about this.  One of the reasons I find this particularly stressful is I really like the date that we are scheduled to do the surgery.  It is conveniently on December 16^th.  I can take the rest of the year off and not be back at work until the 4^th of January.  Jack already has most of that time off because of the Christmas break they get at work.  I am also mentally prepared for the surgery.  I am ready to do this.  I have a $500 deposit down on the surgery, too, but that is minor.  In fact, all of this is minor compared to having the confidence that I have the right surgeon.  As I write this I am more aware than ever that I need to spend a little more time doing a little more research.  I don’t need to cancel my appointment with Dr. Quinn to visit with a few more surgeons and make absolutely sure I am making the right choice.  It’s going to take some time away from the office, but I want to do this once and only once.  This is a really big deal.  I need to be super confident that I have made the best choice I can make.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

We made a lot of progress yesterday in getting the house ready for the kids.  The two bedrooms are cleaned up and the beds are made, ready for our grandkids to sleep in.  I rehung all the pictures that came off the walls when we had the house re-sided a year ago.  It’s crazy that it took that long to do that project!  Today, along with cooking and kickball, I need to get my filing done.  Then, the only thing left to do to prepare for the upcoming visit is cleaning and cooking which we can get done next weekend.  We are so glad all the kids are coming to visit!!  It’ll be great to see everyone, especially our two newest babies, Alena and Jordan.  It’s always nice to get to spend time with the babies, because they are not babies very long!! 

As usual, so much to do and not much time to do it, so I gotta run. 

Have a beautiful day!